so I freaked out
I was in my bio class and we started talking about cancer.
I was fine for a bit but then we started talking about it spreading.
And I couldn't stop thinking about how it tore my grandma up! it spread so
fast. She was fine the day she went in and not even a week later....
And then I thought about andrea who was five. I was like holy shit!
then I thought about all the people who don't give a shit about themselves.
and maybe they would be lucky or maybe I would one day soon be crying about the dying from cancer. It scared me so much. My mom had breast cancer that she had to get rid of, and then a little skin cancer. I hate thinking about it and we were analyzing man I couldn't take it. And I had no one to hold me and then I thought of him... him who that is what I'm beginning to wonder? He was more worried about himself and having to tell a few people I was upset about cancer. which when it all comes down to it I don't see it as a horrible thing to worry about since anyone can get it and it is a horrible way to die.
I thought he would of gave me a hug. a kiss. and say you need to learn it you need to be in class. Just try really hard not to think about it. I love you. and it will be ok your just talking about. but instead he yelled at me and pretty much called me stupid. maybe I am? maybe I shouldn't care so much. I'm actually mad I can't handle it cause I need to pass the next test. and I hate that feeling. hate it so much. and I hate how i have to stay...
and I hate how he didn't say it will be ok or I love you. this is messy.
I don't want to know about these things.