TOPIC OF THE WEEK: Highly functioning sociopath or highly aware Hedonist?
Alright so I have a friend and for everyone's sake lets just call him Cadet. Basically I'm not sure if he's a highly functioning sociopath or a Highly aware Hedonist.... I've decided due to my horrible judgement I've decided I would ask people and find out their opinions so here's the facts...
He's really smart and he pays attention to everything... We talk on the phone once a week for hours on end and we rarely run out of things to talk about.. Our main discussion topic are generally on different aspects of life and he's always philosophizing and helping me to understand different problems better and discussing our views on the way people work... We don't often discuss the usual dribble like celebs and music and stuff like that it's normally a more in depth convo and that's part of why we like each others company I think... He seems to know a lot of information on a range of topics though when I ask him about his past I often get vague answers before he changes the topic... I obviously know some things about him though or I wouldn't stay at his house... When we first met he lied twice to me about his age in the space of 12hrs... the first time it was by 10yrs and the 2nd it was by 2mths... He told me he lied because he kind of felt REALLY old since my first guess was 22 and he ended up just saying yeah we'll call it 28... lol I have since seen his ID and birth cert. He often pauses before answering a question but that may be his way of trying to collect his thoughts to give the most accurate answer he can.. He has a really good memory and is very charming and sociable when are together but over all he tends to keep to himself and enjoyed his privacy and regular amounts of peaceful time.. He doesn't really use computers and doesn't like his personal information being put on the so no fb to check up on... I personally am really bad at looking people directly in their eyes but he regularly looks right in to my eyes when he gets the chance n I often catch him just randomly looking at me... Usually his reason will be that he's admiring me or that he's just looking at me... He looks quite young and in my opinion is quite good looking but he does kind of look like he belongs in the army which he doesn't though he has had other jobs requiring authority (eg. bouncer etc).. His voice is authoritive and hypnotic... He is quite active and likes to keep fit.. He eats regular healthy meals and prefers alternative treatments such as reiki and tries to avoid all the chemicals like in pills etc and I'm very much the same like that though we both smoke both tobacco and pot though he'll only smoke pot grown outdoors... I could not put him into a single stereotype if I tried as everything about him seems to contradict... He's strong but he's so gentle... He has routine but loves to be spontaneous.. He looks like he's about to go off to war yet he claims to be against unnecessary violence... I trust him soo much and yet there's that something I don't trust about him for some reason.. I seriously can not work this guy out and it's driving me nuts... He told me the night I met him he told me that he was a hedonist and I even googled to find out what it was... lol He claims that what he receives from our friendship is the pleasure of my company and I really can't see what else he has gained so far or what his motivations could be... He looks after me as in when I'm with him I smoke his smoke n pot, I eat his food and drink, he buys/gives me little things just random objects he thinks I might like... I constantly listens to me and helps me with my problems... He's pleasured me twice n he hasn't gotten off even once!!!!! And he's really considerate by the sounds of things... Like when we first began talking we both decided we really liked each other but that we can never have a relationship coz of the age difference and that things wouldn't work and that he didn't think it was a good idea for either of us to get attached because he didn't want either of us to get hurt and he also said that we shouldn't have sex and then the one time we have he asked before and after to make sure that things weren't going to change between us and that we were still only friends..
errrmmmm I can't really be bothered going through more traits of his because there's too many so if you have ANY questions or hypothetical scenarios on this topic just ask and I will try my hardest to answer it with my whole month worth of knowledge of him...
Alright so I have absolutely no idea if any of this is actually going to work properly but this is some information that I found from this website.. It's actually a blog about how to spot a sociopath before your their victim... It's an interesting read I thought anyway but here's most of the signs mentioned
http://www.sociopathworld.com/2010/12/sociopath-test-how-to-spot-them-before.html
1. Sociopaths typically don't smalltalk about themselves as much as normal people do. They will direct the conversation back to the new acquaintance as much as they can.
2. A sociopath will reveal "personal" details about himself strategically, i.e. for the purposes of misdirection or a false sense of intimacy/trust. Revelations of actual truths are very rare and may be perceived as a small slip of the mask.
3. Sociopaths frequently hesitate before responding. It will be unclear to you whether they are bored, annoyed, lying, or all three.
4. No strong reactions to illogical hotbed political/social topics (e.g. Octomom or Catholic priest child molestation).
5. Monotone voice (I am told).
6. A tendency to take things too literally or otherwise not respond appropriately to small emotional cues.
7. Cold indifference to one or more family members.
8. Seemingly a different person when "distracted."
9. Disconnect between what the sociopath says and does, e.g. seems charitable but does not give money to homeless or vice versa.
10. Never shows signs of embarrassment. Easily wins over large crowds with confidence. "Poise" in this case = lack of nerves.
11. Does not fit stereotypes for gender, race, ethnicity, religion, age, sexual orientation, or career. Could seem foreign, bisexual, older or younger, pious, wealthy or poor, but may also just seem unplaceable.
12. Can flip flop between keeping a very low profile (the observer) to being the life of the party (the actor).
I don't think all of these would apply to all sociopaths, and certainly many of them apply to people who aren't sociopaths, however they all have the advantage of being directly observable by a layperson, at least without the aid of a brain scan or 10 page questionnaire. Also, because they're seemingly inconsequential and not directly related to the classic sociopath/antisocial traits, a sociopath would have less reason to mask them.
Do some of these seem particularly predictive or not? Any other suggestions?
TheNot
13. Can often appear to be tender, loving, or passionate, yet able to switch to completely self-centered, cold and unapologetic on a dime, and vice versa.
14. Seemingly able to relate to almost anyone's issues in some capacity, from a logical standpoint, and apt to give advice if needed.
15. (Related to 14) When not being able to relate to someone's issues, will instead be highly inquisitive as opposed to empathetic, seeming to want to know more about the issue than comforting and helping the person.
16. Well versed in giving advice on social manipulations in the guise of "help" to friends, loved ones, and family, with great enthusiasm instead of hesitancy.
17. The "sour" smile of purposeful liars. In general, a "sour" face expression which covers whatever other expression they might display at the moment.
18. Rigid, stale, "frozen" face expression. I compare it to the face expressions of actors of the current generation, who seem to always display one or two face expressions in all pictures and videos available.
19. Hypocrisy
this
The biggest clue that your dealing with a sociopath is the smile.A sociopaths smile looks completely unnatural it's similar to the jokers.It's more of a smirk think of dick cheney,ted bundy,george bush,kenneth bianchi.
Th
How about lack of sexual drive? I can use my sexual assets to get my goal, but unless I slip a little from drugs such as alcohol... I don't seem to enjoy pursuing sex. I just don't see the cost such as time and energy worth it in the overall equation.
I will engage in one night stands to take care of my physical needs, but I just don't have a drive to commit to a long term relationship, love or pursue sex unless it is convenient and provided on a platter with no strings attached. I guess the emotional attachment or connection is lacking. I am 22 and went through about 80 bodies, I mean partners.
I have been accused of being gay, but I just aren't motivated when I am completely sober to pursue anything.
17.(?)The "sociopath smile" they have when they know they've beaten their victim.
And those intense "evil eys" they get when they don't get what they want.
So now you know what a sociopath is here's some quick information about Hedonism that I kind of just very quickly threw together coz I'm actually kind of tired since it's almost 5am...
he·don·ism (hdn-zm)
n.
1. Pursuit of or devotion to pleasure, especially to the pleasures of the senses.
2. Philosophy The ethical doctrine holding that only what is pleasant or has pleasant consequences is intrinsically good.
3. Psychology The doctrine holding that behavior is motivated by the desire for pleasure and the avoidance of pain.
Motivations
The Hedonist type prefers pleasure and disprefers pain.The Hedonist prefers:
Pleasure.
Popularity.
Hedonism.
Affiliation.
Winning.
Status.
Desirability.
Being loved.
Celebrity.
Approval.
Freedom.
Action.
Fun.
Excitement.David Keirsey reconfigured the typology created by Isabel Briggs Myers to a scheme of four groups of four types that corresponds to the classic four temperaments. In Please Understand Me (1984), he defined one group as the Artisan temperament, which I call the Hedonist:
Hedonists want to be free, not tied down, confined, or obligated, to do as they wish when they wish, to enjoy today, to be impulsive, to have a life of action which repudiates long term goals, objectives, or plans, to be active just to be active, to do what they feel the urge to do, to experience excitement, to be seen by others as being free to act, as free spirits, to be exciting, optimistic, cheerful, light-hearted, and full of fun (Keirsey, 1984, pp. 30-39; cf., Heineman (SP)).
Attributes*
Positive attributes: Amusing, animated, bold, bouncy, charismatic, charming, cheerful, competitive, conceiving, convincing, cute, delightful, demonstrative, eager, effective, elated, entertaining, enthusiastic, excited, expander, expressive, extrovert, fraternal, fresh, friendly, funny, generous, gregarious, imaginative, immediate, impactful, impressive, influencing, innovative, inspiring, lively, mixes easily, motivating, nervy, optimistic, persuasive, physical, playful, popular, positive, practical, prodigious, promoter, refreshing, risk-taking, sociable, sophisticated, spirited, spontaneous, stimulating, talker, thrilled, urbane, winning, witty, worldly.
Negative attributes: ambitious, angered-easily, buoyant, brassy, careless, changeable, cynical, dilettante, disorganized, egotistical, embroidering the truth, exaggerates, excitable, flighty, forgetful, haphazard, impetuous, impulsive, inconsistent, interrupts, loud, manipulative, messy, naive, narcissistic, optimistic, permissive, reacting, reckless, repetitious, restless, scatterbrained, seek limelight, show-off, superficial, talkative, undisciplined, unpredictable, unrealistic, unreliable, wants credit.
http://www.ptypes.com/hedonist.html
So what do you guys think??
Poll High functioning sociopath or Highly aware Hedonist?
He's really smart and he pays attention to everything... We talk on the phone once a week for hours on end and we rarely run out of things to talk about.. Our main discussion topic are generally on different aspects of life and he's always philosophizing and helping me to understand different problems better and discussing our views on the way people work... We don't often discuss the usual dribble like celebs and music and stuff like that it's normally a more in depth convo and that's part of why we like each others company I think... He seems to know a lot of information on a range of topics though when I ask him about his past I often get vague answers before he changes the topic... I obviously know some things about him though or I wouldn't stay at his house... When we first met he lied twice to me about his age in the space of 12hrs... the first time it was by 10yrs and the 2nd it was by 2mths... He told me he lied because he kind of felt REALLY old since my first guess was 22 and he ended up just saying yeah we'll call it 28... lol I have since seen his ID and birth cert. He often pauses before answering a question but that may be his way of trying to collect his thoughts to give the most accurate answer he can.. He has a really good memory and is very charming and sociable when are together but over all he tends to keep to himself and enjoyed his privacy and regular amounts of peaceful time.. He doesn't really use computers and doesn't like his personal information being put on the so no fb to check up on... I personally am really bad at looking people directly in their eyes but he regularly looks right in to my eyes when he gets the chance n I often catch him just randomly looking at me... Usually his reason will be that he's admiring me or that he's just looking at me... He looks quite young and in my opinion is quite good looking but he does kind of look like he belongs in the army which he doesn't though he has had other jobs requiring authority (eg. bouncer etc).. His voice is authoritive and hypnotic... He is quite active and likes to keep fit.. He eats regular healthy meals and prefers alternative treatments such as reiki and tries to avoid all the chemicals like in pills etc and I'm very much the same like that though we both smoke both tobacco and pot though he'll only smoke pot grown outdoors... I could not put him into a single stereotype if I tried as everything about him seems to contradict... He's strong but he's so gentle... He has routine but loves to be spontaneous.. He looks like he's about to go off to war yet he claims to be against unnecessary violence... I trust him soo much and yet there's that something I don't trust about him for some reason.. I seriously can not work this guy out and it's driving me nuts... He told me the night I met him he told me that he was a hedonist and I even googled to find out what it was... lol He claims that what he receives from our friendship is the pleasure of my company and I really can't see what else he has gained so far or what his motivations could be... He looks after me as in when I'm with him I smoke his smoke n pot, I eat his food and drink, he buys/gives me little things just random objects he thinks I might like... I constantly listens to me and helps me with my problems... He's pleasured me twice n he hasn't gotten off even once!!!!! And he's really considerate by the sounds of things... Like when we first began talking we both decided we really liked each other but that we can never have a relationship coz of the age difference and that things wouldn't work and that he didn't think it was a good idea for either of us to get attached because he didn't want either of us to get hurt and he also said that we shouldn't have sex and then the one time we have he asked before and after to make sure that things weren't going to change between us and that we were still only friends..
errrmmmm I can't really be bothered going through more traits of his because there's too many so if you have ANY questions or hypothetical scenarios on this topic just ask and I will try my hardest to answer it with my whole month worth of knowledge of him...
Alright so I have absolutely no idea if any of this is actually going to work properly but this is some information that I found from this website.. It's actually a blog about how to spot a sociopath before your their victim... It's an interesting read I thought anyway but here's most of the signs mentioned
http://www.sociopathworld.com/2010/12/sociopath-test-how-to-spot-them-before.html
1. Sociopaths typically don't smalltalk about themselves as much as normal people do. They will direct the conversation back to the new acquaintance as much as they can.
2. A sociopath will reveal "personal" details about himself strategically, i.e. for the purposes of misdirection or a false sense of intimacy/trust. Revelations of actual truths are very rare and may be perceived as a small slip of the mask.
3. Sociopaths frequently hesitate before responding. It will be unclear to you whether they are bored, annoyed, lying, or all three.
4. No strong reactions to illogical hotbed political/social topics (e.g. Octomom or Catholic priest child molestation).
5. Monotone voice (I am told).
6. A tendency to take things too literally or otherwise not respond appropriately to small emotional cues.
7. Cold indifference to one or more family members.
8. Seemingly a different person when "distracted."
9. Disconnect between what the sociopath says and does, e.g. seems charitable but does not give money to homeless or vice versa.
10. Never shows signs of embarrassment. Easily wins over large crowds with confidence. "Poise" in this case = lack of nerves.
11. Does not fit stereotypes for gender, race, ethnicity, religion, age, sexual orientation, or career. Could seem foreign, bisexual, older or younger, pious, wealthy or poor, but may also just seem unplaceable.
12. Can flip flop between keeping a very low profile (the observer) to being the life of the party (the actor).
I don't think all of these would apply to all sociopaths, and certainly many of them apply to people who aren't sociopaths, however they all have the advantage of being directly observable by a layperson, at least without the aid of a brain scan or 10 page questionnaire. Also, because they're seemingly inconsequential and not directly related to the classic sociopath/antisocial traits, a sociopath would have less reason to mask them.
Do some of these seem particularly predictive or not? Any other suggestions?
TheNot
13. Can often appear to be tender, loving, or passionate, yet able to switch to completely self-centered, cold and unapologetic on a dime, and vice versa.
14. Seemingly able to relate to almost anyone's issues in some capacity, from a logical standpoint, and apt to give advice if needed.
15. (Related to 14) When not being able to relate to someone's issues, will instead be highly inquisitive as opposed to empathetic, seeming to want to know more about the issue than comforting and helping the person.
16. Well versed in giving advice on social manipulations in the guise of "help" to friends, loved ones, and family, with great enthusiasm instead of hesitancy.
17. The "sour" smile of purposeful liars. In general, a "sour" face expression which covers whatever other expression they might display at the moment.
18. Rigid, stale, "frozen" face expression. I compare it to the face expressions of actors of the current generation, who seem to always display one or two face expressions in all pictures and videos available.
19. Hypocrisy
this
The biggest clue that your dealing with a sociopath is the smile.A sociopaths smile looks completely unnatural it's similar to the jokers.It's more of a smirk think of dick cheney,ted bundy,george bush,kenneth bianchi.
Th
How about lack of sexual drive? I can use my sexual assets to get my goal, but unless I slip a little from drugs such as alcohol... I don't seem to enjoy pursuing sex. I just don't see the cost such as time and energy worth it in the overall equation.
I will engage in one night stands to take care of my physical needs, but I just don't have a drive to commit to a long term relationship, love or pursue sex unless it is convenient and provided on a platter with no strings attached. I guess the emotional attachment or connection is lacking. I am 22 and went through about 80 bodies, I mean partners.
I have been accused of being gay, but I just aren't motivated when I am completely sober to pursue anything.
17.(?)The "sociopath smile" they have when they know they've beaten their victim.
And those intense "evil eys" they get when they don't get what they want.
So now you know what a sociopath is here's some quick information about Hedonism that I kind of just very quickly threw together coz I'm actually kind of tired since it's almost 5am...
he·don·ism (hdn-zm)
n.
1. Pursuit of or devotion to pleasure, especially to the pleasures of the senses.
2. Philosophy The ethical doctrine holding that only what is pleasant or has pleasant consequences is intrinsically good.
3. Psychology The doctrine holding that behavior is motivated by the desire for pleasure and the avoidance of pain.
Motivations
The Hedonist type prefers pleasure and disprefers pain.The Hedonist prefers:
Pleasure.
Popularity.
Hedonism.
Affiliation.
Winning.
Status.
Desirability.
Being loved.
Celebrity.
Approval.
Freedom.
Action.
Fun.
Excitement.David Keirsey reconfigured the typology created by Isabel Briggs Myers to a scheme of four groups of four types that corresponds to the classic four temperaments. In Please Understand Me (1984), he defined one group as the Artisan temperament, which I call the Hedonist:
Hedonists want to be free, not tied down, confined, or obligated, to do as they wish when they wish, to enjoy today, to be impulsive, to have a life of action which repudiates long term goals, objectives, or plans, to be active just to be active, to do what they feel the urge to do, to experience excitement, to be seen by others as being free to act, as free spirits, to be exciting, optimistic, cheerful, light-hearted, and full of fun (Keirsey, 1984, pp. 30-39; cf., Heineman (SP)).
Attributes*
Positive attributes: Amusing, animated, bold, bouncy, charismatic, charming, cheerful, competitive, conceiving, convincing, cute, delightful, demonstrative, eager, effective, elated, entertaining, enthusiastic, excited, expander, expressive, extrovert, fraternal, fresh, friendly, funny, generous, gregarious, imaginative, immediate, impactful, impressive, influencing, innovative, inspiring, lively, mixes easily, motivating, nervy, optimistic, persuasive, physical, playful, popular, positive, practical, prodigious, promoter, refreshing, risk-taking, sociable, sophisticated, spirited, spontaneous, stimulating, talker, thrilled, urbane, winning, witty, worldly.
Negative attributes: ambitious, angered-easily, buoyant, brassy, careless, changeable, cynical, dilettante, disorganized, egotistical, embroidering the truth, exaggerates, excitable, flighty, forgetful, haphazard, impetuous, impulsive, inconsistent, interrupts, loud, manipulative, messy, naive, narcissistic, optimistic, permissive, reacting, reckless, repetitious, restless, scatterbrained, seek limelight, show-off, superficial, talkative, undisciplined, unpredictable, unrealistic, unreliable, wants credit.
http://www.ptypes.com/hedonist.html
So what do you guys think??
Poll High functioning sociopath or Highly aware Hedonist?