one time. i drank a sunkist too fast and i threw up orange.

do they make band-aids the color they do to try and blend in with your skin tone? because if anyone were this peach it would be creepy. and do they have band-aids for black people? well they should.

two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love, and get married.

the ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

i think it's a tad presumptuous to call it the miss universe pageant. the miss earth pageant would be more suiting.

my drag queen name is roast beef. thank you.

lucy would get into a hell of a lot less trouble if she just told the truth once in a while. i think we can all learn from that.

my pocket is broken.

the ring two. worst movie ever. i could have pulled something more entertaining out of my butthole. the first one was good compared to this piece of shit. raaa. i don't even know how to describe it because it was pointless and stupid and i saw it on its opening night and no one even screamed. any of you who have ever been to a scary movie the day ( Read more... )

i just dipped my cigarette in ranch. yeah it was kinda gross.

kinda really gross.

god, my shirt smells like a fucking classroom.