TORCHWOOD - Miracle Day (ep 1) review / angry rant
go to the cut!!!
Ugg… I didn’t watch this on the night on purpose, mostly cos it usually ends up being good when I don’t and crap when I do… theory proved wrong today >_<
So, liked the in jokes (the ones I could understand) like using Owens name as an FBI agent (more on the Owen thing below), didn’t get the one about the bridge cos ever time I’ve been to Wales the only bridges involved were ones over motorways or under train tracks, and non I had to pay for.
Soon as you realised that people couldn’t die, I was thinking, ‘Hu? Hasn’t this already been done by Torchwood?’ and yes it has, kinda, with Owen, somewhere in season 2… then I was like, “Ah NO!, They did this crap in Supernatural! Only it took an episode, are they gonna do a whole series?” the answer looks like, yes… yes they are “Wtf?”
And as soon as I realized that before Jack even appeared, I figured out the plot to the whole damn series 4… No one can die… but Jack can… Well that’s bullshit, we KNOW he survives… what a great premise to do a whole fecking series… NOT!
All I can think of (with the guy who got exploded) is that Jacks going to get his head cut off and they are gonna keep it in a jar like on ‘Futurama’ where it’s gonna get all swelled up then they are gonna smoke his head like a kipper… joy… the 5th seasons gonna be a hoot with a head in a jar as the lead actor… bring back the ‘Head of Boe’ it what we really allll wana bloody well see… (Sarcasm)
And if I can figure out where a show or a film is going, then everyone that know me, KNOW’s it’s gonna be crap, or at least so unbelievably predictable it’s gonna hurt…
As to the reeeeaaallly boring bits where they were trying to act like it was some serious crime drama, with all the moody lighting and slow, behind pillar pull in’s that we expect from those kind of American shows, all while they were explaining the plot that I couldn’t give a crap about cos seriously, we arnt that stupid!... they couldn’t have done that shit in the 1st 5, 10 mins tops?! Not draw it out and make me WANT to hit the fast forwards on my doofa! Cos I was very tempted about 4 times… and I NEVER do that!
I really liked the bit where they all end up in Cardiff, it felt like Torchwood, it felt British, it felt right… but it lasted all of 2 mins, then it’s back to the states /yawn.
And what was with the 2 hours of trailer at the end? Now I don’t HAVE to watch the show cos it’s seems so predictable I can make up the plot in those bloody ‘clips’.
The only one I saw that made me raze an eyebrow was the 2 guys kissing (assuming one’s Jack… all Ianto fans are gonna cry ^_^) which tbh I thought they were gonna glossed over the whole gay thing…
The only thing that’s a question is, WHO wants Jack dead (everyone) how are they keeping everyone alive? (please god, if it’s someone’s captured all the angels of death I really might do some hate mail. [Supernatural reference here :P]), and how are they making Jack non regenerative… cos it’s gotta be some serious jiggery pokery with Huon partials and the time vortex to make it anyway believable for us die hard fans… and who controls that shit more than the Time Lords?
Owen Harper: Ok, so if everyone can’t die but Jack… what does that mean for Owen? Will he finally die to radiation/suffocation, stuck in a nuclear reactor as he is/was? cos he couldn’t die either, it was just more ugly for the poor sod… But I guess this will not be explained, even in passing /sigh.
The only thing ‘Miraculous’ that’s gonna be about this series is IF I have to eat this review at the end of 12 episodes, and they do pull something truly spectacular out of the ‘so far’ crappy plot.
Enough ranting ^_^