Comments | banion48: I won't hold you back...

banion48

I won't hold you back...

Dec 22, 2005 22:38

I am always disappointed by holidays and events that require gifts. No one has ever gotten me anything real without running it by me first. They get soap and lotion and shit like that. Gift certificates and other non=offensive gifts. But never anything that shows they know me to take a chance. To get something they feel is definetly 'me', or that I ( Read more... )

Comments 16

themozz December 23 2005, 04:51:47 UTC

Narnia was amazing. Aslan always looked sleepy though.

banion48 December 23 2005, 19:08:39 UTC

Hah, he did, didn't he? And his voice was very ... well I always assumed he had a deep sonorous voice. Aslan sounded like a suburbanite in my opinion.

anonymous December 23 2005, 04:56:36 UTC

dear miss meg,

you don't know me--i'm just a random blip in the livejournal universe. but i feel your pain, as i've been in that place before. i don't want to give you advice, because that's what everyone else will want to do. i just want to tell you that i think it'll be okay, and that you'll be okay. that consolation sounds as cheap as a ten-cent whore, i know...but hey, i've got faith in you.

and here's my christmas present to you:
http://www.popularfront.com/snowdays/index.html?id=1516626
it made me happy for a solid ten minutes today. hope you get a kick out of it.

love,
c

ps. okay, mebbe just oooone word of advice: lay off muse. definitely one of my favorite bands of all time, but man, that shit can really mess you with you when you're down.

banion48 December 23 2005, 19:14:19 UTC

thanks, stranger, for your sympathies. I wasn't seeking any, just posting my emotions here. I know I'll be fine and there's goodness in the world but well. It's not the kind I'm looking for right now. Feel free to keep reading, and if you'd like friend me so I can friend you - unless you don't desire to. Just a hand held out. And muse is, indeed, some deep shit. stabbing westward, too. gotta stop falling darkly in love with those angsty depressing musicians.

anonymous December 23 2005, 17:27:25 UTC

All I can say is you are a fucking moron. True I will never understand what you feel...but life is what you make out of, not the other way around. You are suppose to find happiness in your own way, not the other way around.

Now that you know what goes wrong and what change you want, so go change it...instead of ranting as a crying baby...bo ho ho..

I think you are writing all these to get attention and sympathy...why don't you all these time to do and pursue what you really want instead. If life is as bad as it sound...how much worse can it go for trying to change it.

Baka!

banion48 December 23 2005, 19:37:48 UTC

If by now, most bitter and cynical of my readers and too afraid of my reaction to apply a name to a post, you don't understand what the POINT of a JOURNAL is, then I have no use for your self-serving attack on my person. To use your own words. "All I can say is you are a fucking moron ( ... )

anonymous December 23 2005, 22:16:09 UTC

Please grow up! Little girl...

I might seem like an asshole but it dosen't matter how nice or how much of an asshole I am. All I am saying is if you want to be happy, go do whatever it takes.

Life is short, you can keep putting depressing journal day after day and make people around you to comfort you; However, I am sure they would rather read how happy you are.

Here you are, ranting how people don't suprise you with a suprise gift, yet...when I threw you a suprise "fucking moron" post...you don't seems to like it...at least I went with my gut feeling and know you will enjoy it with such a big reaction.

I am sorry if I hurt you....but you are only mad, because you know what I said is true. After all, who really like the truth. No one.

banion48 December 23 2005, 23:21:11 UTC

Thanks for the surprise, anonymous. Discontinue reading my journal if it pisses you off so much.

Thread 6

dalia December 23 2005, 17:30:48 UTC

I am sorry that you feel hurt by the whole experience with him. truly.

I thought that's what you did for the one you loved, so I did it without a second thought

It's true, it's what you do when you care about someone. So you're in a rut. We're all in ruts at sometime or another. but I know everything is going to be okay with you. and if you ever need to rant to a live human being, you know where to find me.

(:

banion48 December 23 2005, 19:16:51 UTC

I, personally, think it feels nice to treat someone with utter attention and deference. But it's a bad way to live, truly. For your own good, that is. For them, well, that's just dandy - they get a nice little servant and don't have to do much for themselves in the way of retaining said services. We should all be so lucky.

stargazr417 December 24 2005, 14:30:45 UTC

Maybe if both parties treated each other with that respect and deference, it'd work out a little better, but it never happens like that. So you're right--it's a bad way to live. But oh Megs, I feel your pain on that one. In my experience (and it sounds like you might have gotten something similar from him too) they seem to expect you to do all these things for them, things that if we were outsiders looking in we'd be horrified at, but yet we do them anyway...why? Because we're led to believe we're 'supposed' to bend over backwards and be walked all over to be the 'good girlfriend/boyfriend.' Ridiculous. Yet it happens every day, to all of us ( ... )

(...continued) stargazr417 December 24 2005, 14:42:23 UTC

Never let ANYONE deter you from voicing your feelings, especially in your own journal. Fill the far reaches of cyberspace with what you're feeling, even if there isn't a single word that's happy or cheery or any of that. Who cares? This is for you. And when people are hurt this bad, especially in relationships, it's something that you never fully recover from. You'll get past it, for sure, but part of it will always be there. Like a scar. So...are we supposed to just pretend none of it happened? It's the people who complain about the feelings, emotions, and in this case waitings, of others, who should really take a step back and look at themselves.

I wonder sometimes, too, if real love is out there. But maybe it's more of what our own personal interpretation of that means. I know what it means to me, which is probably quite different than what it means to you, or any of the other people out there who might happen to read this, or any passing stranger on the street. So many different interpretations of that dangerous four-letter word ( ... )

Re: (...continued) banion48 December 24 2005, 16:28:22 UTC

Yes, the things we people do to one another every day in every way is appalling. I'll say I've lost not a little faith in humanity with each act of atrocity. But you can't change anything for the good or bad, you can only accept things the way they are and make do with what you get. So ce'st la vie. Thanks for responding, Jesse ;) I hope life treats you most kindly this season, and that you have snow on Christmas!

Are you still writing? Please say you are. I've been lax as of late but have been reading an astounding amount of novels to compensate for my creativity.

I know about not listening to the maniacal bastards that post drivel to our entries. They think they're imparting wisdom when really they're just being mean because they pity us and think they're better than us. Regardless, the only thing about anon posters that peeves me is that they're ANON. As if it's so hard to just say who you are instead of beating around the bush and making excuses through anonymity

Re: (...continued) stargazr417 December 24 2005, 16:53:31 UTC

Mm, writing. Not as much as I should be, I suppose, but sometimes I get a jump-start of creativity (the latest of which was seeing Narnia...I was like, even if I don't write anything else I HAVE to finish this book I'm working on now).

God, I want to write so much stuff. The fantasy series I've started, but I also have some ideas for a couple of more mainstream fiction books (but with a twist to them, not just straight-up old drama or whatnot) but...yikes, finding the time, and then when I do have the time, I'm either lacking in energy or motivation...

But I haven't put away my writer's cap, or pen, or whatever, just yet. Hopefully January will bring more downtime, and the main thing in my list is to write. I love getting lost in it, in the story that's in my head, just like when reading a good book, the words on a page disappear and you see the whole thing in your head...but of course, the best part of this is I get to control it myself ^_^ (but then, you know how that is ( ... )