Comments | banion48: Six Months Three Weeks

banion48

Six Months Three Weeks

Jul 24, 2006 00:26

I'm still sober if anyone cares ( Read more... )

Comments 6

forsaken_malice July 24 2006, 04:59:19 UTC

I still care... I'm proud of all you've done... I love you and you're perfect. <3

banion48 July 24 2006, 05:09:05 UTC

thanks mali. ... im just tired. and i used all my meal tickets of release. all i have left is sitting with myself and staying in the here and now. there's no more relaxing fun parties with friends, no more guilty pleasures. Just meetings, meetings, self analysis, philosophies, medications, doctors, failures which are in and of themselves successes. And it all has to be my own making. And every day onward reminds me that I am alone, because I have to do this for myself...

and that has to be enough.

and it usually is. i'm just sad tonight. and lonely. what good are all these fucking virtues everyone says I have if they aren't enough to keep people near me?

redefined_god July 25 2006, 23:57:39 UTC

ah xella... I am happy you are sober and you will always be perfect in my eyes, perfect in a xella sort of way, I am glad you are bettering yourself and maybe if things go badly here like they seem to be heading I might make my way up there... vacation of course but escape is so tempting, I'm sorry you lost your phone, I was actually picking it up to call you and realized you didn't have one... hehe take care of yourself women, thats all I ask of you :)

banion48 July 28 2006, 05:09:53 UTC

i love you kami

My love for you is too implicit (or should be) to be the body of this. anonymous August 8 2006, 18:53:04 UTC

Don't become a nun.

X

Re: My love for you is too implicit (or should be) to be the body of this. banion48 August 9 2006, 06:33:20 UTC

haha thanks x. i love and miss you terribly. i'm starting my eighth step - made of list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.... - yeah you're on my list.