the chicken in the vineyard

[baobabs]

on the way to work/school today, the bus usually passes duck farms, plenty of vineyards and the meandering canals. today, i saw a fat chicken in the vineyard, pecking at stuff on the ground. and it made me burst out laughing on the bus. everyone thought i was mad as i was plugged into my ipod and cackling wildly to myself. i was thinking 'bloody

Comments

[fantomelover]

one day i will be so overcomed with rage, i will stab his eye with my key and blind him.

WAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! that is so fucking random! But im glad to know that you have thought about and prepared some kinda "weapon"!!! I hope your key hole is really deep with real sharp-assed grooves right?!!??!

[baobabs]

my key is very normal... but i walk very fast and i've already checked out the corners of myneighbourhood, i live in a very dark street with no lights, so i cant even see my foot when the shops are all closed.

Then sweetie,

[fantomelover]

Call the bf an get him to ship you the most massive Maglite (the brand pilots use in emergencies and hijacks):

http://www.maglite.com/anatomy_spare_recharge.asp

Its fucking non-corrosive, water-resistant, 32 inches(good for dark, rainy nights right..)

Practice swinging it around in attack, using it in defence to parry attacks, "super-draw" from the trusty backpacks and rapid turning on of "spot-to-flood" light beams to blind potential attackers.

If all that fails, throw the fucking thing at him. It will put him into a coma.

Take care,

Your Trusty, Efficient Neighbourhood Defence Specialist.

P/s: Pepper spray is also good. But it doesnt light your way home.

[baobabs]

ahahahaha i will survive. sometimes the street lights work, but most of the time it doesnt.

this town is not dangerous, it's just some weird pple walking about.

i couldn't find pepper spray in sg... i shall go look around here. otherwise keys will suffice for now :)

[dancerxo]

eeks stalker. have a can of whatever spray you have handy. no one can blame u if he tries to be funny and you squirt some chilli oil in his eyes O:)

[teflonarmour]

If you're really desperate, then just spray some cheap perfume into his eyes (Think IMPULSE)! That way, if he escapes, the police can track him down as well with sniffer dogs!!! Clever or not?!?

pepper spray and light sabers indeed....tut

[princessgisele]

just act crazy..and i'm talking insanely crazy if u find some strange man tailing u home.
like slapping and punching urself. yell at urself in different languages(u've got the upper-hand here) for added effect.

tested and proved. it works. =:o)