Erase and Rewind
Title: Erase and Rewind
Pairing: Kris/Tao; Kris/Baekhyun
Rating: PG
Warning: Infidelity
Summary: The damage has been done and there is no treatment for frustrations and mistakes but to erase, rewind and play everything once again.
He was so wrong it felt right, and that made him feel completely out of control
-Becca Fitzpatrick, Hush, Hush
☓
Fumes curl into fading grey as Zitao huffs them off his mouth. He places the death stick in between his lips once again, inhaling mint and poison at the same time. The night's still young, but he's already awake.
He sits on the wrinkled bed sheets of last night's heated frenzy, gazing at the view of Beijing's night life. It's two in the morning but everyone outside the hotel are still alive.
The whole room is quiet with the exception of Wufan's light snoring and the sound of air conditioner. It's dark and the room only gets illuminated by the flashing LEDs outside the glass windows.
A few burned ashes later, Zitao feels an arm enveloping his naked torso and a nose inhaling his bare back.
"You smell like apple." another hand slips on his waist.
"It's past two o'clock. Baekhyun's probably getting worried about you." there's disappointment in his tone that Zitao failed to hide. His eyes land on the digital clock sitting on the mahogany table beside their bed, saying it's past fifteen minutes after two in the morning.
"Just a few more minutes." this thing can be extended for a few minutes, but it certainly cannot last forever.
"Why don't you take a shower already?" Zitao tries to sound irritated, but his mouth helplessly betrays him. He likes this, but everything is killing him. He doesn't want Wufan to untangle his long limbs from the younger's waist, he doesn't want him to go away, he isn't pleased that Wufan's going to leave him soon.
"Because I want to take you first." Wufan places his forehead on Zitao's, their noses a strand of hair apart, their lips a thumb away. Wufan leans in first, tasting Zitao's lips and sweet cigarettes.
"Shut up." Zitao mutters with a faint laugh and sticks the cigarette in Wufan's mouth.
"Just a few minutes, please?" he tenses up when Wufan begs. It's inexorable. Having Wufan looking at him like that, with a cigarette hanging on his lips, eyes as lustful as the night. Zitao tells himself that maybe, a few minutes won't harm. It won't, hopefully. Zitao's too tired on hanging with hopes, but he doesn't have a choice, does he? He's going to dangle until everything falls, and he's silently hoping that Wufan's going to catch him.
☓
Baekhyun wakes up with the sound of the door lock clicking. He scratches his eyes and smiles after successfully suppressing a yawn. He stands up from the couch-where he noticed he fell asleep on while waiting for Wufan to arrive.
"How's work?"
"Fine. Exhausting." Wufan sets his briefcase aside and loosens up his necktie before sitting beside Baekhyun on the couch.
"It must have been a rough day for you." Baekhyun looks at Wufan with sad eyes. "I ordered some food from the restaurant before going home from work, I can heat it up for you." He regrets not being able to cook dinner for Wufan because he sucks at Cantonese cuisines which the older loves most. Although Wufan doesn't say anything, Baekhyun knows Wufan smiles because he doesn't want to disappoint him with his horrible cooking skills.
"It's horrible, isn't it?" Baekhyun tried his best to hide his frown, but it's even more inevitable than a mushroom sprouting from nowhere.
"It's nice." If nice meant chewing forcefully on the uncooked fried noodles, then Baekhyun indeed is a great cook.
Baekhyun took the chopsticks from Wufan's hand and inserted a chopstick full of noodles in his mouth. Only making him spit everything out when the rough texture hit his tongue.
"These noodles just gave me cancer." he said, followed by Wufan's laugh and a hug. Wufan's always got his ways in comforting him and Baekhyun thinks he'll never get tired of this.
"I'm not hungry. I just want to sleep." Wufan closes his eyes and Baekhyun unconsciously lifts his hand to caress his face. His white knuckles gently touching soft cheeks, Wufan holds his hand and nuzzles into his touch.
"Don't stress yourself too much, okay?"
"I won't."
What Baekhyun doesn't know however, is that Wufan never gets stressed out.
A smile forms on his face when Wufan presses a light kiss on Baekhyun's lips.
☓
Wufan and Zitao are monsters. At work they're like two beasts fighting over a single prey, competing over everything and treating each other like their mortal enemy. In bed, however, is a different story. They're two predators preying upon each other, the domination is not constant at all-it's a big issue who tops, because in the end they'll just have their ways in taking over. Taking over each other, that is.
"Paper works?" greeted Zitao as soon as he enters Wufan's office. "What a waste of time."
"Productivity is a waste of time for you, isn't it, Executive Director Huang Zitao?" Wufan says, his eyes not leaving the papers he's reviewing.
Zitao sits on the leather chair at the right side before Wufan's table, giving an unenthusiastic look on Wufan's papers while he's radiating sexy without even trying. "Time is gold."
"Don't make me laugh." Wufan puts down the papers, filing them inside a brown envelope as he looks at Zitao's eyes for the first time this day. Auburn meets Jet black eyes. A barricade of sexual tension suddenly erected between them.
"I'd like to make you laugh, because you often do it." there's a sudden change in his tone that made Wufan tense for a second, for a moment he thought he perceived something sweet and desperation in Zitao's voice. "By the way, I came here to... get the proposal for the next meeting. The sweet CEO's got his hands itching for our next project. He even bugged me to do something about it."
"I can have my secretary send it to your office. You're such a bad liar, Huang Zitao." Wufan stands up from his leather recliner chair, making his way near Zitao. It's actually way too near that the barricade between them almost stood no chance for any resistance.
"You know me too well." Zitao says before snaking his arms up on Wufan's neck.
"I know everything about you too well." Wufan smirks that puts a flutter in Zitao's stomach. His smirk comes to a cease when Zitao hungrily sticks his lips to Wufan's, tasting each other with their exploring tongues.
They part for a moment to catch their breathes, both didn't dare to break their gazes away from each other's eyes as the air fills in between them.
"Lunch break's still an hour away, someone seems to be getting hungry already." Wufan slides a hand up Zitao's waist, making its way beneath the younger's suit.
"You're guilty as well, Wu Yifan." Their lips meet once again in a wild collision, their bodies are burning-their lips on flame, Zitao jerks up a little to rub his erection on Wufan's own aroused manhood, trying to get friction and satisfaction at the same time. Wufan leans his hips closer to Zitao's as he leaves his lips and starts trailing damp kisses on the younger's perfectly sculpted jaw.
Wufan pauses when he reaches Zitao's ear, the latter resists to suppress himself from rubbing his erection off Wufan.
"Why did you stop?"
"I love your piercings." he breathes to his ears that sends bolts of electricity down Zitao's spine.
Zitao swears this feels so fine. So good. It feels so fucking great that he can't find himself stopping. All he can do is close his eyes, feel Wufan's tongue explore his earlobe, exhale breathes of pleasure whenever he'll bite on his helix and feel his cock on-
The phone rings.
They both freeze. Wufan pulls away and picks up the phone.
"Sir?" It's Wufan's secretary. "Are you busy? Someone's looking for you."
They both share a look, their embarrassments conceal beneath their gleaming eyes and playful smirks.
"Come in, Jongdae."
A few seconds after, Jongdae's head pops up at the front door. "You've got a visitor, sir."
"Who is it?"
"It's Baekhyun."
Zitao suddenly feels a large lump on his throat.
"Let him in."
Zitao shoots Wufan a nervous glance which the latter just brushed off with a constructed smile as the door opens before them.
The guess turns out to be the smiling little sunshine, carrying a paper bag that contains a lunchbox.
"Wufan?" Baekhyun calls as soon as he pops his head inside the room. He has already done a few steps before he notices the existence of Zitao who's sitting on the chair in front of him. "O-Oh! It's you Zitao!S-Sorry for disturbing your conversation, well I was just about to give something to-"
"It's okay." Zitao says, giving him a smile that didn't reach the corners of his face.
"Mind if I abuse your kindness for a minute?" Baekhyun says with a sheepish smile.
"Not really."
Baekhyun mutters an almost inaudible 'thank you' before walking straight to Wufan.
"What made you come here this early?" Normally, Wufan would be the one who will come to Baekhyun's school-he's a vocal instructor in a state university near Wufan's office-there was a routine that they used to do during the first few months of their relationship.
Was.
"Just in case it slipped your mind, today is a special day."
In all obviousness, Wufan is clueless concerning the special thing this special day. "That is...?"
"Silly! I decided to bring fried noodles. Well I tried to cook some and it came out great so I want you to be the first one to taste it."
Zitao thinks that it isn't just the reason why Baekhyun's here. Baekhyun has classes and rarely takes a leave-according to Wufan who keeps on ranting to him about Baekhyun's love for his profession. He pretends to be busy by standing from his seat, he tries to look like he's doing some important SMS conversation while he types random Chinese characters in his phone.
"This looks good. I'll be sharing this with Zitao, if you're fine with it, little sunshine."
Little sunshine. Zitao feels like puking.
"O-Of course." Zitao suddenly feels annoyed because it's fucking obvious that Baekhyun thinks Zitao is a demon who broke through the earth's crust and ascended from hell-he does not deserve to eat the holy noodles of the damned.
That's true, though. "I'll just have my own lunch, you can have that by yourself, Wufan-nim."
Zitao imagines Wufan mentally rolling his eyes at the honorific.
"No! I would appreciate if you'll eat it, I mean even though I don't think it's good, you can eat if you want to."
I don't. Zitao wants to say out loud. He doesn't hate Baekhyun or anything, it's actually Baekhyun who should hate him. Baekhyun has the right to abhor him from head to his filthy toes, he has done things Baekhyun hadn't even done to Wufan-things that Baekhyun can't even imagine himself-things that monsters would do at each other. It has been a routine.
"I'd have this all by myself." Wufan says instead letting Baekhyun take a sigh of relief. "Don't you have classes today? Did you cancel your appointments just to give this to me?"
Zitao thinks Wufan is fucking stupid. Wait, let him rephrase that, Wufan is a dumb fuckstick, he's a fucking idiot for the possibility of Baekhyun taking a leave is brighter than the rays of the sun outside the window panes of Wufan's suffocating office. Baekhyun, however is not an idiot like him to cancel his schedule just to send him a bowl of fucking noodles.
"Well... You'd have to guess that." Baekhyun says with a cocky smile.
"Really?" Wufan hates guessing as much as he hates bottoming in bed.
"Did you get an amnesia or are you developing an Alzheimer's?"
"I really don't get it. What's with all these things?"
"You need to know that by yourself. You still have a lot of time and I need to go now since I'm wasting Zitao's precious time here."
Zitao checks the calendar on his phone. It's January 19 and somehow the date rings a bell.
"O-Okay then."
"Zitao!" Baekhyun calls and Zitao pretends that he didn't hear a single thing as he innocently looks up from his phone. "I should get going now. Sorry for disturbing!"
"It's nothing."
"Wufan! Eat the noodles, okay?"
Wufan looks up from the paper bag, he nods and smiles back at Baekhyun-it's the first time that Zitao sees him smiling so genuinely this week, he can feel his heart skipping a beat or two. Baekhyun bows at Zitao and is about to open the door when he suddenly stops and looks back at Wufan.
"I love you."
Zitao freezes, his heart stops pounding for a second. What did Baekhyun just say?
Love. Why, of course. It's something that Zitao has been avoiding all along. It's something he wishes to never get perceived. He has allowed the invasion of each other's lives and bodies but he assures that no one gets to touch his heart.
Then comes along one Wu Yifan.
There isn't a single place they haven't made out in, there has not been a single part of Zitao's body that he didn't dare experiment with. Reality starts to hit him there. Entirely. That Zitao realizes it just needs a single word to open his mind from everything he has avoided for a lifetime. It's love.
He looks at Wufan who seems to be startled for a short moment as well.
"I-I love you too." he replies.
Baekhyun smiles before leaving the room.
When the door clicks to a close, Zitao realizes, this is wrong. He faces the glazed ceramic tiles covered by the lying carpet, somehow wishing for it to fucking fly and slap him right in the face for only noticing how much of a stupid he had been.
Wufan had attacked before Zitao can even defend himself. He has been captured, he has been completely defeated and it's too late to retreat, to go back to the safe zone because Wufan has taken over, not giving him a single chance to escape.
"Now, where were we?" Zitao jumps when he finds Wufan standing right in front of him.
Before he can even answer, Wufan takes his lips into a heated frenzy.
☓
Guilt, no matter how Zitao avoided it like the plague, has still made its way to cover up his conscience. Forming it into a tiny ball of self-abomination.
He lets Wufan guide him through the threshold of the hotel they've been for the last three-or is it four?-months, Zitao can't clearly remember, but the only thing that's processing in his mind is that he has been a fool for a while now. Wufan catches his lips on their way, not even bothering to reach their room before transforming into monsters with hungry souls and blazing bodies.
There's a big weight in Zitao's chest and a painful rainfall of flutters in his stomach. It's a combination of the effect of Wufan's hands on his body and the guilt that consumes his entire conscience brought by the images of Baekhyun's face in his head. They enter the room without their lips parting for even a single second.
They stop somewhere at the corner of the room, with Wufan cornering him on a wall. Zitao closes his eyes when he feels Wufan's hands traveling south, unzipping his black pants and letting it drop on the ground. Wufan's hands travel further down, his hand massaging Zitao's thigh as he places it around his waist, repeating the same routine with his other thigh as he shoves the younger harder on the wall along with sloppy kisses. He supports Zitao from falling down by holding his buttocks firmly-a little too tight for comfort.
Zitao pulls away from the messy kiss and catches his breath, he's about to go seal Wufan's lips yet again when he gets caught off guard by the older looking at him. Zitao stares straight right into those brown orbs, looking right into Wufan. The thick silence and tension escalated in the room, no one tries to stop it as Zitao sees the apprehension in Wufan's eyes, his arm stretching out to caress his cheek but he stops midway just to realize that his hand just acted on its own.
"This is stupid." Zitao says to himself and he feels Wufan freezes.
"It is." Wufan replies after a minute of contemplating, letting go of Zitao as he put him down and sits on the bed.
They stay silent for a moment, avoiding each other's gazes that seems to burn them whenever they would catch each other's eyes. Wufan recalls the stupidity that he has done aka his life decisions.
Zitao looks at him, the Wufan before him right now is a whole new different Wufan. He's no more a monster but a fragile man contemplating about love. About life. That's what Zitao had seen in his eyes. There was never a formal agreement about their relationship, but there was a mutual understanding that there would be no strings attached in this, no emotional intimacy and no love at all-it's extremely prohibited. The thing between them is strictly just about nookie, nothing more.
"I don't want this." It's a lie. Wufan has wanted this. Had wanted this from the start. He initiated everything, from the heated gazes in the conference room, the accidental rubbing of their hips to the stolen kisses while they're alone in the bathroom of the office.
"M-Me too." It's a lie. Zitao has always wanted this. He has always wished for this. He never realized it until now but he's too afraid to admit it. Because he has avoided it, yet he yearned for it without even realizing.
"I need to think. I need time. I need time to think. Let me-"
"No."
"I'm sorry, Zitao. This is wrong-I mean, this is stupid. We can't keep doing this."
"No. You don't have to be sorry. It's wrong. This entire thing should have never happened in the first place. We're hurting someone here. We're hurting ourselves as well." Zitao says the last sentence with a lump in his throat, it's probably him who's only suffering and will suffer after this.
"Zitao."
"You're really such a stupid asshole."
"I am." Wufan replies, standing up from the bed and walking towards Zitao who's already dressed himself back to normal.
"Today's 19." He notices Wufan's eyes widen when he mentions the date.
Wufan mutters a 'shit' that made Zitao laugh.
"See? You're a bigger asshole than I am." They're both assholes which makes them not suited for each other. Only if one of them's a dick then everything could have been a lot better and easier. "Go. There's still an hour left. Celebrate your anniversary with Baekhyun."
"But I can't leave you here-"
"You should. Baekhyun. He's waiting for you."
Zitao takes a sharp breath that Wufan swears it almost sounded like a sob. Wufan shakes his head but he easily catches his arms and turns him around.
"You... You love Baekhyun, don't you? And Baekhyun loves you too." Zitao says, thankful that Wufan's back is facing him or else he'll be seeing him cry. The strong beast turns into a weak, vulnerable one. There's defeat in his voice as he continues. "I don't-I don't love you. And you do not love me. I satisfy your needs and you do the same to me but in the end we're not really happy with each other, we don't really hold on to something that's unbreakable. There are no attachments, no.. no nothing. Just pure sex. Baekhyun can give you that, Wufan. It's a mistake to... use, no, to do this with me. So let's end it here."
Wufan tries to turn around to face Zitao but his grip is too strong, Zitao would never let someone see his weak exterior.
"Let's put a period in this. Remember the song that played when we were in a bar last spring? Leave everything behind. Erase and rewind. Delete me in your life. Rewind and go back to where you and Baekhyun had started. Make up to him. Do it. For Baekhyun, for yourself, for the name of love. Love that I never would be able to give you." Zitao can feel Wufan's shoulders shaking. The tears are streaming on his cheeks, and his nose is starting to clog. And he has decided, before Wufan can even notice him crying, he will throw him out. Out of this room. Out of this building. Out of his life. "Come on. Fifty five more minutes until the day is over. Or you'll regret not being able to greet Baekhyun a Happy Anniversary."
"But Zitao, how about you-"
"Don't worry about me. I can manage. In fact, I think it's better to... leave now than later. We might do things we may regret." Zitao wipes his nose. "Sorry, I'm having a runny nose. Come on. You're just ten steps away from the door, Wufan."
"I'm sorry." They take the first step, Wufan's hand holding Zitao's that's gripping on his shoulders.
"Okay, another step."
"I didn't mean to hurt you."
"Eight more steps to go Wufan, you're doing it right."
"I'm not really sure about what I feel anymore."
"We're almost there."
" The only thing that I know is that... I still love Baekhyun."
"You're so slow, Wufan! Move faster!"
"But you, you're still here as well. Somewhere..."
"Double time Wu Yifan! Okay! That's good, four more steps until you're outside."
"Somewhere but not in my heart."
They stop three steps away from the door. "I never was. And never will be."
Zitao walks past through Wufan and opens the door, he pulls him and takes the taller out of the room as he goes back inside and closes it again with a loud bang.
"You will never love me, Wu Yifan."
☓
Baekhyun wakes up with the sound of the door lock clicking. He scratches his eyes and smiles after successfully suppressing a yawn. He stands up from the couch-where he noticed he fell asleep on while waiting for Wufan to arrive.
"I'm glad you came on time." Baekhyun says as he hugs Wufan. There's ten more minutes before the day comes to an end. "Happy Anniversary."
Wufan hugs Baekhyun tightly, he places his chin above Baekhyun's head while his gaze lingers at the interior of the living room that was once alive with laughters and kisses. "Yeah."
"Have you eaten?"
"I'm tired."
Baekhyun tries to pull away but Wufan refuses to let him go. "Let's stay like this for a while."
"You smell like apple."
And Wufan remembers Zitao's scent. He remembers that he didn't get a shower before coming home.
"I'm sorry." Wufan starts to shake in his embrace and Baekhyun pats his back, nuzzling into Wufan's neck as he comforts him with 'It's okay.' and 'It's fine.'
But Wufan thinks it isn't okay at all, let alone be fine. The damage has been done and there is no treatment for frustrations and mistakes but to erase, rewind and play it once again.
This time, Wufan hopes love won't perish. So he tries to rewind back from where everything has started.
oh god i messed up btw happy valentines day
Pairing: Kris/Tao; Kris/Baekhyun
Rating: PG
Warning: Infidelity
Summary: The damage has been done and there is no treatment for frustrations and mistakes but to erase, rewind and play everything once again.
He was so wrong it felt right, and that made him feel completely out of control
-Becca Fitzpatrick, Hush, Hush
☓
Fumes curl into fading grey as Zitao huffs them off his mouth. He places the death stick in between his lips once again, inhaling mint and poison at the same time. The night's still young, but he's already awake.
He sits on the wrinkled bed sheets of last night's heated frenzy, gazing at the view of Beijing's night life. It's two in the morning but everyone outside the hotel are still alive.
The whole room is quiet with the exception of Wufan's light snoring and the sound of air conditioner. It's dark and the room only gets illuminated by the flashing LEDs outside the glass windows.
A few burned ashes later, Zitao feels an arm enveloping his naked torso and a nose inhaling his bare back.
"You smell like apple." another hand slips on his waist.
"It's past two o'clock. Baekhyun's probably getting worried about you." there's disappointment in his tone that Zitao failed to hide. His eyes land on the digital clock sitting on the mahogany table beside their bed, saying it's past fifteen minutes after two in the morning.
"Just a few more minutes." this thing can be extended for a few minutes, but it certainly cannot last forever.
"Why don't you take a shower already?" Zitao tries to sound irritated, but his mouth helplessly betrays him. He likes this, but everything is killing him. He doesn't want Wufan to untangle his long limbs from the younger's waist, he doesn't want him to go away, he isn't pleased that Wufan's going to leave him soon.
"Because I want to take you first." Wufan places his forehead on Zitao's, their noses a strand of hair apart, their lips a thumb away. Wufan leans in first, tasting Zitao's lips and sweet cigarettes.
"Shut up." Zitao mutters with a faint laugh and sticks the cigarette in Wufan's mouth.
"Just a few minutes, please?" he tenses up when Wufan begs. It's inexorable. Having Wufan looking at him like that, with a cigarette hanging on his lips, eyes as lustful as the night. Zitao tells himself that maybe, a few minutes won't harm. It won't, hopefully. Zitao's too tired on hanging with hopes, but he doesn't have a choice, does he? He's going to dangle until everything falls, and he's silently hoping that Wufan's going to catch him.
☓
Baekhyun wakes up with the sound of the door lock clicking. He scratches his eyes and smiles after successfully suppressing a yawn. He stands up from the couch-where he noticed he fell asleep on while waiting for Wufan to arrive.
"How's work?"
"Fine. Exhausting." Wufan sets his briefcase aside and loosens up his necktie before sitting beside Baekhyun on the couch.
"It must have been a rough day for you." Baekhyun looks at Wufan with sad eyes. "I ordered some food from the restaurant before going home from work, I can heat it up for you." He regrets not being able to cook dinner for Wufan because he sucks at Cantonese cuisines which the older loves most. Although Wufan doesn't say anything, Baekhyun knows Wufan smiles because he doesn't want to disappoint him with his horrible cooking skills.
"It's horrible, isn't it?" Baekhyun tried his best to hide his frown, but it's even more inevitable than a mushroom sprouting from nowhere.
"It's nice." If nice meant chewing forcefully on the uncooked fried noodles, then Baekhyun indeed is a great cook.
Baekhyun took the chopsticks from Wufan's hand and inserted a chopstick full of noodles in his mouth. Only making him spit everything out when the rough texture hit his tongue.
"These noodles just gave me cancer." he said, followed by Wufan's laugh and a hug. Wufan's always got his ways in comforting him and Baekhyun thinks he'll never get tired of this.
"I'm not hungry. I just want to sleep." Wufan closes his eyes and Baekhyun unconsciously lifts his hand to caress his face. His white knuckles gently touching soft cheeks, Wufan holds his hand and nuzzles into his touch.
"Don't stress yourself too much, okay?"
"I won't."
What Baekhyun doesn't know however, is that Wufan never gets stressed out.
A smile forms on his face when Wufan presses a light kiss on Baekhyun's lips.
☓
Wufan and Zitao are monsters. At work they're like two beasts fighting over a single prey, competing over everything and treating each other like their mortal enemy. In bed, however, is a different story. They're two predators preying upon each other, the domination is not constant at all-it's a big issue who tops, because in the end they'll just have their ways in taking over. Taking over each other, that is.
"Paper works?" greeted Zitao as soon as he enters Wufan's office. "What a waste of time."
"Productivity is a waste of time for you, isn't it, Executive Director Huang Zitao?" Wufan says, his eyes not leaving the papers he's reviewing.
Zitao sits on the leather chair at the right side before Wufan's table, giving an unenthusiastic look on Wufan's papers while he's radiating sexy without even trying. "Time is gold."
"Don't make me laugh." Wufan puts down the papers, filing them inside a brown envelope as he looks at Zitao's eyes for the first time this day. Auburn meets Jet black eyes. A barricade of sexual tension suddenly erected between them.
"I'd like to make you laugh, because you often do it." there's a sudden change in his tone that made Wufan tense for a second, for a moment he thought he perceived something sweet and desperation in Zitao's voice. "By the way, I came here to... get the proposal for the next meeting. The sweet CEO's got his hands itching for our next project. He even bugged me to do something about it."
"I can have my secretary send it to your office. You're such a bad liar, Huang Zitao." Wufan stands up from his leather recliner chair, making his way near Zitao. It's actually way too near that the barricade between them almost stood no chance for any resistance.
"You know me too well." Zitao says before snaking his arms up on Wufan's neck.
"I know everything about you too well." Wufan smirks that puts a flutter in Zitao's stomach. His smirk comes to a cease when Zitao hungrily sticks his lips to Wufan's, tasting each other with their exploring tongues.
They part for a moment to catch their breathes, both didn't dare to break their gazes away from each other's eyes as the air fills in between them.
"Lunch break's still an hour away, someone seems to be getting hungry already." Wufan slides a hand up Zitao's waist, making its way beneath the younger's suit.
"You're guilty as well, Wu Yifan." Their lips meet once again in a wild collision, their bodies are burning-their lips on flame, Zitao jerks up a little to rub his erection on Wufan's own aroused manhood, trying to get friction and satisfaction at the same time. Wufan leans his hips closer to Zitao's as he leaves his lips and starts trailing damp kisses on the younger's perfectly sculpted jaw.
Wufan pauses when he reaches Zitao's ear, the latter resists to suppress himself from rubbing his erection off Wufan.
"Why did you stop?"
"I love your piercings." he breathes to his ears that sends bolts of electricity down Zitao's spine.
Zitao swears this feels so fine. So good. It feels so fucking great that he can't find himself stopping. All he can do is close his eyes, feel Wufan's tongue explore his earlobe, exhale breathes of pleasure whenever he'll bite on his helix and feel his cock on-
The phone rings.
They both freeze. Wufan pulls away and picks up the phone.
"Sir?" It's Wufan's secretary. "Are you busy? Someone's looking for you."
They both share a look, their embarrassments conceal beneath their gleaming eyes and playful smirks.
"Come in, Jongdae."
A few seconds after, Jongdae's head pops up at the front door. "You've got a visitor, sir."
"Who is it?"
"It's Baekhyun."
Zitao suddenly feels a large lump on his throat.
"Let him in."
Zitao shoots Wufan a nervous glance which the latter just brushed off with a constructed smile as the door opens before them.
The guess turns out to be the smiling little sunshine, carrying a paper bag that contains a lunchbox.
"Wufan?" Baekhyun calls as soon as he pops his head inside the room. He has already done a few steps before he notices the existence of Zitao who's sitting on the chair in front of him. "O-Oh! It's you Zitao!S-Sorry for disturbing your conversation, well I was just about to give something to-"
"It's okay." Zitao says, giving him a smile that didn't reach the corners of his face.
"Mind if I abuse your kindness for a minute?" Baekhyun says with a sheepish smile.
"Not really."
Baekhyun mutters an almost inaudible 'thank you' before walking straight to Wufan.
"What made you come here this early?" Normally, Wufan would be the one who will come to Baekhyun's school-he's a vocal instructor in a state university near Wufan's office-there was a routine that they used to do during the first few months of their relationship.
Was.
"Just in case it slipped your mind, today is a special day."
In all obviousness, Wufan is clueless concerning the special thing this special day. "That is...?"
"Silly! I decided to bring fried noodles. Well I tried to cook some and it came out great so I want you to be the first one to taste it."
Zitao thinks that it isn't just the reason why Baekhyun's here. Baekhyun has classes and rarely takes a leave-according to Wufan who keeps on ranting to him about Baekhyun's love for his profession. He pretends to be busy by standing from his seat, he tries to look like he's doing some important SMS conversation while he types random Chinese characters in his phone.
"This looks good. I'll be sharing this with Zitao, if you're fine with it, little sunshine."
Little sunshine. Zitao feels like puking.
"O-Of course." Zitao suddenly feels annoyed because it's fucking obvious that Baekhyun thinks Zitao is a demon who broke through the earth's crust and ascended from hell-he does not deserve to eat the holy noodles of the damned.
That's true, though. "I'll just have my own lunch, you can have that by yourself, Wufan-nim."
Zitao imagines Wufan mentally rolling his eyes at the honorific.
"No! I would appreciate if you'll eat it, I mean even though I don't think it's good, you can eat if you want to."
I don't. Zitao wants to say out loud. He doesn't hate Baekhyun or anything, it's actually Baekhyun who should hate him. Baekhyun has the right to abhor him from head to his filthy toes, he has done things Baekhyun hadn't even done to Wufan-things that Baekhyun can't even imagine himself-things that monsters would do at each other. It has been a routine.
"I'd have this all by myself." Wufan says instead letting Baekhyun take a sigh of relief. "Don't you have classes today? Did you cancel your appointments just to give this to me?"
Zitao thinks Wufan is fucking stupid. Wait, let him rephrase that, Wufan is a dumb fuckstick, he's a fucking idiot for the possibility of Baekhyun taking a leave is brighter than the rays of the sun outside the window panes of Wufan's suffocating office. Baekhyun, however is not an idiot like him to cancel his schedule just to send him a bowl of fucking noodles.
"Well... You'd have to guess that." Baekhyun says with a cocky smile.
"Really?" Wufan hates guessing as much as he hates bottoming in bed.
"Did you get an amnesia or are you developing an Alzheimer's?"
"I really don't get it. What's with all these things?"
"You need to know that by yourself. You still have a lot of time and I need to go now since I'm wasting Zitao's precious time here."
Zitao checks the calendar on his phone. It's January 19 and somehow the date rings a bell.
"O-Okay then."
"Zitao!" Baekhyun calls and Zitao pretends that he didn't hear a single thing as he innocently looks up from his phone. "I should get going now. Sorry for disturbing!"
"It's nothing."
"Wufan! Eat the noodles, okay?"
Wufan looks up from the paper bag, he nods and smiles back at Baekhyun-it's the first time that Zitao sees him smiling so genuinely this week, he can feel his heart skipping a beat or two. Baekhyun bows at Zitao and is about to open the door when he suddenly stops and looks back at Wufan.
"I love you."
Zitao freezes, his heart stops pounding for a second. What did Baekhyun just say?
Love. Why, of course. It's something that Zitao has been avoiding all along. It's something he wishes to never get perceived. He has allowed the invasion of each other's lives and bodies but he assures that no one gets to touch his heart.
Then comes along one Wu Yifan.
There isn't a single place they haven't made out in, there has not been a single part of Zitao's body that he didn't dare experiment with. Reality starts to hit him there. Entirely. That Zitao realizes it just needs a single word to open his mind from everything he has avoided for a lifetime. It's love.
He looks at Wufan who seems to be startled for a short moment as well.
"I-I love you too." he replies.
Baekhyun smiles before leaving the room.
When the door clicks to a close, Zitao realizes, this is wrong. He faces the glazed ceramic tiles covered by the lying carpet, somehow wishing for it to fucking fly and slap him right in the face for only noticing how much of a stupid he had been.
Wufan had attacked before Zitao can even defend himself. He has been captured, he has been completely defeated and it's too late to retreat, to go back to the safe zone because Wufan has taken over, not giving him a single chance to escape.
"Now, where were we?" Zitao jumps when he finds Wufan standing right in front of him.
Before he can even answer, Wufan takes his lips into a heated frenzy.
☓
Guilt, no matter how Zitao avoided it like the plague, has still made its way to cover up his conscience. Forming it into a tiny ball of self-abomination.
He lets Wufan guide him through the threshold of the hotel they've been for the last three-or is it four?-months, Zitao can't clearly remember, but the only thing that's processing in his mind is that he has been a fool for a while now. Wufan catches his lips on their way, not even bothering to reach their room before transforming into monsters with hungry souls and blazing bodies.
There's a big weight in Zitao's chest and a painful rainfall of flutters in his stomach. It's a combination of the effect of Wufan's hands on his body and the guilt that consumes his entire conscience brought by the images of Baekhyun's face in his head. They enter the room without their lips parting for even a single second.
They stop somewhere at the corner of the room, with Wufan cornering him on a wall. Zitao closes his eyes when he feels Wufan's hands traveling south, unzipping his black pants and letting it drop on the ground. Wufan's hands travel further down, his hand massaging Zitao's thigh as he places it around his waist, repeating the same routine with his other thigh as he shoves the younger harder on the wall along with sloppy kisses. He supports Zitao from falling down by holding his buttocks firmly-a little too tight for comfort.
Zitao pulls away from the messy kiss and catches his breath, he's about to go seal Wufan's lips yet again when he gets caught off guard by the older looking at him. Zitao stares straight right into those brown orbs, looking right into Wufan. The thick silence and tension escalated in the room, no one tries to stop it as Zitao sees the apprehension in Wufan's eyes, his arm stretching out to caress his cheek but he stops midway just to realize that his hand just acted on its own.
"This is stupid." Zitao says to himself and he feels Wufan freezes.
"It is." Wufan replies after a minute of contemplating, letting go of Zitao as he put him down and sits on the bed.
They stay silent for a moment, avoiding each other's gazes that seems to burn them whenever they would catch each other's eyes. Wufan recalls the stupidity that he has done aka his life decisions.
Zitao looks at him, the Wufan before him right now is a whole new different Wufan. He's no more a monster but a fragile man contemplating about love. About life. That's what Zitao had seen in his eyes. There was never a formal agreement about their relationship, but there was a mutual understanding that there would be no strings attached in this, no emotional intimacy and no love at all-it's extremely prohibited. The thing between them is strictly just about nookie, nothing more.
"I don't want this." It's a lie. Wufan has wanted this. Had wanted this from the start. He initiated everything, from the heated gazes in the conference room, the accidental rubbing of their hips to the stolen kisses while they're alone in the bathroom of the office.
"M-Me too." It's a lie. Zitao has always wanted this. He has always wished for this. He never realized it until now but he's too afraid to admit it. Because he has avoided it, yet he yearned for it without even realizing.
"I need to think. I need time. I need time to think. Let me-"
"No."
"I'm sorry, Zitao. This is wrong-I mean, this is stupid. We can't keep doing this."
"No. You don't have to be sorry. It's wrong. This entire thing should have never happened in the first place. We're hurting someone here. We're hurting ourselves as well." Zitao says the last sentence with a lump in his throat, it's probably him who's only suffering and will suffer after this.
"Zitao."
"You're really such a stupid asshole."
"I am." Wufan replies, standing up from the bed and walking towards Zitao who's already dressed himself back to normal.
"Today's 19." He notices Wufan's eyes widen when he mentions the date.
Wufan mutters a 'shit' that made Zitao laugh.
"See? You're a bigger asshole than I am." They're both assholes which makes them not suited for each other. Only if one of them's a dick then everything could have been a lot better and easier. "Go. There's still an hour left. Celebrate your anniversary with Baekhyun."
"But I can't leave you here-"
"You should. Baekhyun. He's waiting for you."
Zitao takes a sharp breath that Wufan swears it almost sounded like a sob. Wufan shakes his head but he easily catches his arms and turns him around.
"You... You love Baekhyun, don't you? And Baekhyun loves you too." Zitao says, thankful that Wufan's back is facing him or else he'll be seeing him cry. The strong beast turns into a weak, vulnerable one. There's defeat in his voice as he continues. "I don't-I don't love you. And you do not love me. I satisfy your needs and you do the same to me but in the end we're not really happy with each other, we don't really hold on to something that's unbreakable. There are no attachments, no.. no nothing. Just pure sex. Baekhyun can give you that, Wufan. It's a mistake to... use, no, to do this with me. So let's end it here."
Wufan tries to turn around to face Zitao but his grip is too strong, Zitao would never let someone see his weak exterior.
"Let's put a period in this. Remember the song that played when we were in a bar last spring? Leave everything behind. Erase and rewind. Delete me in your life. Rewind and go back to where you and Baekhyun had started. Make up to him. Do it. For Baekhyun, for yourself, for the name of love. Love that I never would be able to give you." Zitao can feel Wufan's shoulders shaking. The tears are streaming on his cheeks, and his nose is starting to clog. And he has decided, before Wufan can even notice him crying, he will throw him out. Out of this room. Out of this building. Out of his life. "Come on. Fifty five more minutes until the day is over. Or you'll regret not being able to greet Baekhyun a Happy Anniversary."
"But Zitao, how about you-"
"Don't worry about me. I can manage. In fact, I think it's better to... leave now than later. We might do things we may regret." Zitao wipes his nose. "Sorry, I'm having a runny nose. Come on. You're just ten steps away from the door, Wufan."
"I'm sorry." They take the first step, Wufan's hand holding Zitao's that's gripping on his shoulders.
"Okay, another step."
"I didn't mean to hurt you."
"Eight more steps to go Wufan, you're doing it right."
"I'm not really sure about what I feel anymore."
"We're almost there."
" The only thing that I know is that... I still love Baekhyun."
"You're so slow, Wufan! Move faster!"
"But you, you're still here as well. Somewhere..."
"Double time Wu Yifan! Okay! That's good, four more steps until you're outside."
"Somewhere but not in my heart."
They stop three steps away from the door. "I never was. And never will be."
Zitao walks past through Wufan and opens the door, he pulls him and takes the taller out of the room as he goes back inside and closes it again with a loud bang.
"You will never love me, Wu Yifan."
☓
Baekhyun wakes up with the sound of the door lock clicking. He scratches his eyes and smiles after successfully suppressing a yawn. He stands up from the couch-where he noticed he fell asleep on while waiting for Wufan to arrive.
"I'm glad you came on time." Baekhyun says as he hugs Wufan. There's ten more minutes before the day comes to an end. "Happy Anniversary."
Wufan hugs Baekhyun tightly, he places his chin above Baekhyun's head while his gaze lingers at the interior of the living room that was once alive with laughters and kisses. "Yeah."
"Have you eaten?"
"I'm tired."
Baekhyun tries to pull away but Wufan refuses to let him go. "Let's stay like this for a while."
"You smell like apple."
And Wufan remembers Zitao's scent. He remembers that he didn't get a shower before coming home.
"I'm sorry." Wufan starts to shake in his embrace and Baekhyun pats his back, nuzzling into Wufan's neck as he comforts him with 'It's okay.' and 'It's fine.'
But Wufan thinks it isn't okay at all, let alone be fine. The damage has been done and there is no treatment for frustrations and mistakes but to erase, rewind and play it once again.
This time, Wufan hopes love won't perish. So he tries to rewind back from where everything has started.
oh god i messed up btw happy valentines day