the story of a strange girl i met at an arcade (part 2)
the guy wrote this over several days... let's see how fast i can get them all done >.>
After going there for several consecutive days, she showed up at the arcade again.
She was wearing a beret again, but she seemed different than usual.
Her clothes seemed to be more like work clothes, stained with inks and acrylics.
Her shoes were pretty dirty, covered in all sorts of paint.
It looked like the hands playing LoV were also stained with paint.
---
My heart just raced, and I excitedly called out to her.
"Hello~"
Her: "Mm..."
She seemed very down.
It was obvious something was wrong.
Well, she usually is weird, but that day, it felt like she was depressed.
---
She wasn't talking to herself when she lost a match.
She just kept quiet and chugged on...
Her profile seemed a bit mature, as if she was different from me.
Me: "After that match, you want to take a break?"
Her: "I-I guess you are right, yeah."
She is still strange.
---
Me: "Did you draw something at school today?"
Her: "No... I'm about to graduate soon, so that has nothing to do with it..."
Me: "Oh, that's right, you said art school. Where did you get a job?"
I was just asking, expecting a carefree answer.
Her: "........."
---
Her: "The job I got... is with a very small design firm..."
Me: "Oh wow, a designer! That's amazing!"
She smiled.
Her: "Thanks... you're about the only one that tells me that. But I wish I could go back to your age."
Me: "What's wrong? Did you have some sort of a dream to fulfill...?"
Now that I think about it, I stepped in too deep and asked too many questions.
She was in tears.
Her: "It's really tough when I'm with you.... What was your name again?"
Me: "Tomizawa...." (fake name, I look like Takeshi Tomizawa of Sandwich Man)
Her: "I see. I'm Fukiishi." (also fake name, she looks like Kazue Fukiishi)
---
Her: "You like drawing?"
Me: "I like to draw... I suck at it, but that's all I do..."
Her: "(laugh) I see."
And then, she started crying again.
Her: "I'm sorry... I might not be able to come to the arcade anymore."
With those last words, she raced away into the night.
---
She left the arcade.
I was confused. Did I say something bad?
I couldn't figure out what was going on at all.
I put all my effort in chasing her.
"Wait a minute! What's wrong!?"
---
She stopped, and stood there silently.
I was at a loss of what to do.
I didn't know what words to throw at her.
Right in front of me, a girl wearing a beret with paint stains on her hands and clothes was in tears.
What a strange situation I was in.
Suddenly, I uttered a strange thought.
"I-I know, how about we go to an art supply store right now?"
---
I don't know what caused me to say such a thing.
It was just something that came out from my wish to change the current situation.
Her: "What? Really?"
Me: "Yes, let's go. Is there any nearby...?"
Her reaction was better than I expected.
And she was really into it.
Her: "Well then, let's go, there's one nearby. Though we need to hop onto a train."
---
We head over to the train station, and I quietly bought a ticket.
I think she was saying something like
"I wonder if JR tickets are expensive?"
We were waiting for the train at the platform. Because of the time of day, the station was pretty crowded.
We stood there in silence. She was crying only until a few minutes ago, but she was standing there perfectly fine, better than what I expected.
I was panicking and nervous from this sudden unforseen turn of events. Maybe my legs were shaking.
I looked over at her, and she is laughing and giving me a "V for victory" sign.
Me: "What's with that?"
Her: "I dunno (laugh)"
---
Even during this trip, she would never talk about herself.
I think I was doing all of the talking.
I remember just babbling stuff like "I really admire art school students" and "I love to draw so I want to become better".
With everything I say, she would just smile. That made her look really cute.
But I couldn't brush against the reasons that made her cry.
---
We arrived at the art supply store.
Then she suddenly gets really excited.
"Oh, what should I do, should I go buy a canvas? No, I need brushes too..."
With a sparkling look on her face, she started to shop, dragging me along with her.
I figured that I might be able to ask her something if she was relaxed.
Me: "You seem to be having fun."
Her: "Well, when I get here... I get really hyper."
Me: "But didn't you say the other day that you were no longer drawing...?"
---
Her: "Well, that's..."
Me: "I'm sorry if I dampened your mood... but I just want to know something. I mean, you suddenly bursted into tears today, too."
My mind was completely filled with her already, so I wanted to know.
And if I could, I wanted to be of help to her, even just a little bit.
Me: "Why do you always come to the arcade? Do you have some strong thoughts about the location?"
Her: "I have memories. That's why."
I don't get it.
---
This situation was full of things I didn't understand.
What in the world is with this person?
In the first place, it was strange to see a girl like this always coming to the arcade by herself.
Me: "What is this... memory...?"
Her: "You want to see one of my art pieces?"
Come to think, I've never seen any.
She showed me one of her pieces that she had stored on her cellphone.
---
There were pictures of Pop'n and other sound game characters, as well as versus game characters.
All of them were drawn in a very cute style, and I honestly thought they looked really good.
Her style was reminiscent of someone like... let's see... chanco.
Me: "Wow, you're really good!"
She was smiling from ear to ear.
Her: "Thank you. I just really love arcade games."
But still, there were so many things that were not clicking into place.
And I was still wondering about why she was crying.
---
Me: "But you really are good. I love this art style! Were you actually trying to get into this industry?"
Her: "Well, yeah."
Me: "I see... but if you're this good, I'm sure you'll have another chance! I'll definitely be cheering for you!"
Her: "No, I decided that I wouldn't draw stuff like this anymore."
Me: "Why?"
---
Her: "You're young. You love art. I'm sure you're a good kid."
Me: "Well, um, uh--"
Her: "You shouldn't be so overly friendly -- don't toss out kind words so easily."
Her face was a lot more serious than usual, to the point that it scared me.
Her eyes were bloodshot.
Her: "You're no good... no good, no good."
I strangely remember her saying no good, no good.
Her: "Well, that's it for today. Bye, and thanks for hanging out with me."
She handed me a Copic Multiliner, and hurried away.
I was awestruck, and couldn't chase after her.
---
I didn't understand anything.
She had taken absolutely everything away from me.
For a while, I couldn't eat at all.
All I could do was to draw doodles with the Multiliner that she had given me.
Every waking moment, and even in my sleep, she was the only thing I thought of.
But I didn't even know how to get a hold of her.
Going to the arcade was the one and only way I could tie myself down to her.
---
Distressed, I kept going to the arcade every day.
At this rate, I don't know what to talk about the next time I saw her.
She was there one afternoon when I swung by the arcade on my way home from college.
She was sitting there, playing LoV.
I tapped her shoulder and nodded hello.
Her: "Oh, you're here! Let's play a local game!"
As soon as she saw me, she invited me to play a game with her.
I really appreciate arcades. If I use games as a buffer, she's in a good mood.
---
The arcade is what is keeping us from drifting apart.
That's how it felt.
We played a full round of various games.
We would go to the smoking area or the vending machines, and talk about versus games. It was fun.
Because it was fun and we got along, I wanted to know more about her.
She might be able to tell me something while we're at the arcade.
I had believed so.
It was because we were at the arcades that we got along so well, even on the day that we first met.
---
After a full round of games, we were back in front of the vending machines.
The sound of games ringing all around us felt good.
Me: "Um... Fukiishi-san, why did you start drawing?"
Her: "Me? Mm... I think I was affected by Big Bro."
She spilled a few beans.
This was when I first found out how much her brother meant to her.
---
Because it was an arcade, a place where we both loved so much,
she was caught off guard and the words came out of her mouth.
She looked startled.
Me: "A big brother?"
She covered her eyes with the casquette she was wearing.
Me: "What's with that?"
She laughs a dry laugh.
Her: "I have an older brother... and we used to go to arcades often together. That's how I fell in love with arcades."
Me: "Your brother liked arcades too?"
Her: "Yeah (laugh) It was so crazy, it was way beyond just liking it."
---
Her: "Big Bro loved to draw, so he always said how he'd someday like to make an arcade game that everyone will play."
Me: "That's pretty impressive..."
Her: "But... we have a strict family. Big Bro wanted to go to art school, but both our parents told him he had to go to one of the national universities.... so he ended up in Tokyo University."
Me: "What!? That's amazing!"
---
Her: "He was the oldest son... so I'm sure my parents were desperate, too."
The story was making me queasy. I was unsure of whether or not I should be listening to the rest of the story.
Her: "Big Bro thought that he would be able to start his creative career once he was done with college...
but when he started college, my parents started pestering him to study so he can become a bureaucrat or a lawyer..."
Me: "A lawyer... so a bar exam..." I reacted to this part of her story, as I was in pre-law myself.
---
Her: "Big Bro's attempts at the bar exam were terrible. And occasionally, he would tell me the truth, that he wanted to just draw.
I was the younger child, and because I was a girl, I was able to do what I wanted to do, and enter art school."
I was at a loss of words.
More so, I was half-surprised that she was talking so much about herself.
Because normally, she never talked about herself.
Her: "Big Bro's heart broke as he kept failing the bar exam...
He's mentally ill now, and is in a hospital. He's in no shape to draw anymore."
I didn't know what I should say. I mean, what was I supposed to say to that? lol.
I was disturbed that she would say such a serious thing so plainly, and even laugh about it.
---
Her: "So that's why I... I wanted to work at a game company and make games.
I was able to do what I wanted to do, I had my freedom. That's why I wanted to make sure my dreams came true...
But it was no good. I can't just live clinging on to my memories."
Me: "So you didn't make it... but, you still have many many chances left...!"
She didn't say that she agreed with me.
She just smiled.
I didn't know back then what that smile really meant.
---
I don't know how many times we met before that day, but that was the day we exchanged numbers.
A lot of things made sense.
Why she was at the arcade, too.
She was a lot more down-to-earth than my first impression.
Of course, there were many inexplicable things about her, but that was what made her so cute.
She was rejected from art school at least once, so she was a couple years older than me, but she was very short.
Even then, looking at her back, she seemed like a very big person.
I was happy about this. She talked to me.
Maybe I could be of more help to her from now on.
I felt like I could do anything and everything for her.
What luggage she is carrying was huge, and it surprised me.
But I was happy that she chose to disclose it all with me.
---
I was completely in cloud nine.
When would I see her next?
After that, I kept going to the arcades day after day. I just kept going.
But for a while, she did not show up to the arcades at all.
I did get text messages from her often.
What was it? Something was nagging me.
She wasn't showing up on the weekends. And I don't think her job had started yet.
I would text her, "Why aren't you coming to the arcade?"
but the reply would be vague, like "I think I'll head over in the near future."
After going there for several consecutive days, she showed up at the arcade again.
She was wearing a beret again, but she seemed different than usual.
Her clothes seemed to be more like work clothes, stained with inks and acrylics.
Her shoes were pretty dirty, covered in all sorts of paint.
It looked like the hands playing LoV were also stained with paint.
---
My heart just raced, and I excitedly called out to her.
"Hello~"
Her: "Mm..."
She seemed very down.
It was obvious something was wrong.
Well, she usually is weird, but that day, it felt like she was depressed.
---
She wasn't talking to herself when she lost a match.
She just kept quiet and chugged on...
Her profile seemed a bit mature, as if she was different from me.
Me: "After that match, you want to take a break?"
Her: "I-I guess you are right, yeah."
She is still strange.
---
Me: "Did you draw something at school today?"
Her: "No... I'm about to graduate soon, so that has nothing to do with it..."
Me: "Oh, that's right, you said art school. Where did you get a job?"
I was just asking, expecting a carefree answer.
Her: "........."
---
Her: "The job I got... is with a very small design firm..."
Me: "Oh wow, a designer! That's amazing!"
She smiled.
Her: "Thanks... you're about the only one that tells me that. But I wish I could go back to your age."
Me: "What's wrong? Did you have some sort of a dream to fulfill...?"
Now that I think about it, I stepped in too deep and asked too many questions.
She was in tears.
Her: "It's really tough when I'm with you.... What was your name again?"
Me: "Tomizawa...." (fake name, I look like Takeshi Tomizawa of Sandwich Man)
Her: "I see. I'm Fukiishi." (also fake name, she looks like Kazue Fukiishi)
---
Her: "You like drawing?"
Me: "I like to draw... I suck at it, but that's all I do..."
Her: "(laugh) I see."
And then, she started crying again.
Her: "I'm sorry... I might not be able to come to the arcade anymore."
With those last words, she raced away into the night.
---
She left the arcade.
I was confused. Did I say something bad?
I couldn't figure out what was going on at all.
I put all my effort in chasing her.
"Wait a minute! What's wrong!?"
---
She stopped, and stood there silently.
I was at a loss of what to do.
I didn't know what words to throw at her.
Right in front of me, a girl wearing a beret with paint stains on her hands and clothes was in tears.
What a strange situation I was in.
Suddenly, I uttered a strange thought.
"I-I know, how about we go to an art supply store right now?"
---
I don't know what caused me to say such a thing.
It was just something that came out from my wish to change the current situation.
Her: "What? Really?"
Me: "Yes, let's go. Is there any nearby...?"
Her reaction was better than I expected.
And she was really into it.
Her: "Well then, let's go, there's one nearby. Though we need to hop onto a train."
---
We head over to the train station, and I quietly bought a ticket.
I think she was saying something like
"I wonder if JR tickets are expensive?"
We were waiting for the train at the platform. Because of the time of day, the station was pretty crowded.
We stood there in silence. She was crying only until a few minutes ago, but she was standing there perfectly fine, better than what I expected.
I was panicking and nervous from this sudden unforseen turn of events. Maybe my legs were shaking.
I looked over at her, and she is laughing and giving me a "V for victory" sign.
Me: "What's with that?"
Her: "I dunno (laugh)"
---
Even during this trip, she would never talk about herself.
I think I was doing all of the talking.
I remember just babbling stuff like "I really admire art school students" and "I love to draw so I want to become better".
With everything I say, she would just smile. That made her look really cute.
But I couldn't brush against the reasons that made her cry.
---
We arrived at the art supply store.
Then she suddenly gets really excited.
"Oh, what should I do, should I go buy a canvas? No, I need brushes too..."
With a sparkling look on her face, she started to shop, dragging me along with her.
I figured that I might be able to ask her something if she was relaxed.
Me: "You seem to be having fun."
Her: "Well, when I get here... I get really hyper."
Me: "But didn't you say the other day that you were no longer drawing...?"
---
Her: "Well, that's..."
Me: "I'm sorry if I dampened your mood... but I just want to know something. I mean, you suddenly bursted into tears today, too."
My mind was completely filled with her already, so I wanted to know.
And if I could, I wanted to be of help to her, even just a little bit.
Me: "Why do you always come to the arcade? Do you have some strong thoughts about the location?"
Her: "I have memories. That's why."
I don't get it.
---
This situation was full of things I didn't understand.
What in the world is with this person?
In the first place, it was strange to see a girl like this always coming to the arcade by herself.
Me: "What is this... memory...?"
Her: "You want to see one of my art pieces?"
Come to think, I've never seen any.
She showed me one of her pieces that she had stored on her cellphone.
---
There were pictures of Pop'n and other sound game characters, as well as versus game characters.
All of them were drawn in a very cute style, and I honestly thought they looked really good.
Her style was reminiscent of someone like... let's see... chanco.
Me: "Wow, you're really good!"
She was smiling from ear to ear.
Her: "Thank you. I just really love arcade games."
But still, there were so many things that were not clicking into place.
And I was still wondering about why she was crying.
---
Me: "But you really are good. I love this art style! Were you actually trying to get into this industry?"
Her: "Well, yeah."
Me: "I see... but if you're this good, I'm sure you'll have another chance! I'll definitely be cheering for you!"
Her: "No, I decided that I wouldn't draw stuff like this anymore."
Me: "Why?"
---
Her: "You're young. You love art. I'm sure you're a good kid."
Me: "Well, um, uh--"
Her: "You shouldn't be so overly friendly -- don't toss out kind words so easily."
Her face was a lot more serious than usual, to the point that it scared me.
Her eyes were bloodshot.
Her: "You're no good... no good, no good."
I strangely remember her saying no good, no good.
Her: "Well, that's it for today. Bye, and thanks for hanging out with me."
She handed me a Copic Multiliner, and hurried away.
I was awestruck, and couldn't chase after her.
---
I didn't understand anything.
She had taken absolutely everything away from me.
For a while, I couldn't eat at all.
All I could do was to draw doodles with the Multiliner that she had given me.
Every waking moment, and even in my sleep, she was the only thing I thought of.
But I didn't even know how to get a hold of her.
Going to the arcade was the one and only way I could tie myself down to her.
---
Distressed, I kept going to the arcade every day.
At this rate, I don't know what to talk about the next time I saw her.
She was there one afternoon when I swung by the arcade on my way home from college.
She was sitting there, playing LoV.
I tapped her shoulder and nodded hello.
Her: "Oh, you're here! Let's play a local game!"
As soon as she saw me, she invited me to play a game with her.
I really appreciate arcades. If I use games as a buffer, she's in a good mood.
---
The arcade is what is keeping us from drifting apart.
That's how it felt.
We played a full round of various games.
We would go to the smoking area or the vending machines, and talk about versus games. It was fun.
Because it was fun and we got along, I wanted to know more about her.
She might be able to tell me something while we're at the arcade.
I had believed so.
It was because we were at the arcades that we got along so well, even on the day that we first met.
---
After a full round of games, we were back in front of the vending machines.
The sound of games ringing all around us felt good.
Me: "Um... Fukiishi-san, why did you start drawing?"
Her: "Me? Mm... I think I was affected by Big Bro."
She spilled a few beans.
This was when I first found out how much her brother meant to her.
---
Because it was an arcade, a place where we both loved so much,
she was caught off guard and the words came out of her mouth.
She looked startled.
Me: "A big brother?"
She covered her eyes with the casquette she was wearing.
Me: "What's with that?"
She laughs a dry laugh.
Her: "I have an older brother... and we used to go to arcades often together. That's how I fell in love with arcades."
Me: "Your brother liked arcades too?"
Her: "Yeah (laugh) It was so crazy, it was way beyond just liking it."
---
Her: "Big Bro loved to draw, so he always said how he'd someday like to make an arcade game that everyone will play."
Me: "That's pretty impressive..."
Her: "But... we have a strict family. Big Bro wanted to go to art school, but both our parents told him he had to go to one of the national universities.... so he ended up in Tokyo University."
Me: "What!? That's amazing!"
---
Her: "He was the oldest son... so I'm sure my parents were desperate, too."
The story was making me queasy. I was unsure of whether or not I should be listening to the rest of the story.
Her: "Big Bro thought that he would be able to start his creative career once he was done with college...
but when he started college, my parents started pestering him to study so he can become a bureaucrat or a lawyer..."
Me: "A lawyer... so a bar exam..." I reacted to this part of her story, as I was in pre-law myself.
---
Her: "Big Bro's attempts at the bar exam were terrible. And occasionally, he would tell me the truth, that he wanted to just draw.
I was the younger child, and because I was a girl, I was able to do what I wanted to do, and enter art school."
I was at a loss of words.
More so, I was half-surprised that she was talking so much about herself.
Because normally, she never talked about herself.
Her: "Big Bro's heart broke as he kept failing the bar exam...
He's mentally ill now, and is in a hospital. He's in no shape to draw anymore."
I didn't know what I should say. I mean, what was I supposed to say to that? lol.
I was disturbed that she would say such a serious thing so plainly, and even laugh about it.
---
Her: "So that's why I... I wanted to work at a game company and make games.
I was able to do what I wanted to do, I had my freedom. That's why I wanted to make sure my dreams came true...
But it was no good. I can't just live clinging on to my memories."
Me: "So you didn't make it... but, you still have many many chances left...!"
She didn't say that she agreed with me.
She just smiled.
I didn't know back then what that smile really meant.
---
I don't know how many times we met before that day, but that was the day we exchanged numbers.
A lot of things made sense.
Why she was at the arcade, too.
She was a lot more down-to-earth than my first impression.
Of course, there were many inexplicable things about her, but that was what made her so cute.
She was rejected from art school at least once, so she was a couple years older than me, but she was very short.
Even then, looking at her back, she seemed like a very big person.
I was happy about this. She talked to me.
Maybe I could be of more help to her from now on.
I felt like I could do anything and everything for her.
What luggage she is carrying was huge, and it surprised me.
But I was happy that she chose to disclose it all with me.
---
I was completely in cloud nine.
When would I see her next?
After that, I kept going to the arcades day after day. I just kept going.
But for a while, she did not show up to the arcades at all.
I did get text messages from her often.
What was it? Something was nagging me.
She wasn't showing up on the weekends. And I don't think her job had started yet.
I would text her, "Why aren't you coming to the arcade?"
but the reply would be vague, like "I think I'll head over in the near future."