Sometimes I wish I could go back to the time when the fandom was just beginning. I really liked my life back then and quite frankly I liked who I was then. It was such a happy time, those few short years ago. Now - not so much. I keep trying to figure out when I became this person... the person that seems to hurt people and the person who seems
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Honestly, I'm feeling like I'm not loved these days. Like with my family. Other than my mom, because she loves me, but like aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. And work has been so stressful for me. I'm struggling day to day at that place, so I know how you feel.
I hope things get better for you Barbara. You are truly a wonderful person <3
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You are not alone in feeling that way. I wish I could turn back time, that I could re-do things and stop myself from the times when I became a bitter, jealous person.
From what little I know of you, I know that you are a sweet, caring individual, and I am lucky to know you.
I hope and pray things get better for you, with your job and with the relationships in your life. ♥
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(Although that may be a bit redundant at this point. See above.)
Oh, sweetie-thanks for sharing. And you aren't alone, honest. Everyone wishes they could turn back time, be a better person, a better friend, a better son or daughter, a better partner. I've had moments when I was really selfish and angry and said stupid shit. And I would give anything to be able to go back-but you can't.
But that's okay. Because you've done the most important thing already-you realized that you can do better. And if you learned something, then you are already ahead of the game. So many people keep making the same mistakes over and over and never figure it out.
And you don't have to be perfect either-you just have to try.
And if my god, of course you are worth loving. But I guess the trick to getting love is loving back. Relationships are like plants, they always need watering and care-and I have let some die from neglect myself.
Please be good to yourself and love yourself as well. That's the most important thing of all.
Hugs again.
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I hope things get better for you soon, and I wish I could be there to, as you always say, hug the stuffing out of you. And any time you're feeling like you need a boost or a smooch or a shoulder to cry on, please come find me.
Love you love you love you ♥.
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