***
Down the river drifts an axe
From the town of Byron.
Let it float by itself -
Fucking piece of iron!!!

***
Starlet's fallen from the heavens
Right into my boyfriend's briefs.
I don't mind his roasted penis
If it helps us live in peace.

God was talking to Adam one day when Adam begins to lament. "God I'm lonely, I need a companion ( Read more... )

I heard on the news last night that Bill Gates and his wife are expecting a baby in June.
I'm betting the baby will be late.

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"

The father replied: "Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine."

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early ( Read more... )

A British doctor, a German doctor and an American doctor were chatting ( Read more... )

What does a lion call a antelope?
Fast food.

Russian Prison Tattoos

Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

The organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels.
Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.
The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.
The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.