Abunai Yakai - Zeus Punishment Game [2015.04.16]
I really wish they would send Sho to Ni-chome every other week. A girl can dream, I guess.
櫻井有吉アブナイ夜会 150416 by balababa
Na: Sakurai Sho’s evening parties, part 2!
Na: Last year, we held an evening party for Sakurai in Hawaii.
Na: We were able to catch a glimpse of Sakurai that we don’t normally see.
Na: He changed his outfit before he went out, but for some reason he went from camo pants to camo pants.
Na: I use this little guy when I’m on vacation. It’s a second bag I’ve been using for about 10 years.
Na: Sakurai revealed his rather ugly wardrobe and very dull lifestyle.
Na: Sakurai, who shows us his brilliant side on stage… what side of him will we see at tonight’s party?
Na: We arrange to meet him in front of Shinjuku Gyoen Mae at 6.30pm.
Na: And then…
Sho (S): Hello.
Yakai staff (Y): Hello.
Oshima Yuko: He must really love camo patterns!
S: What are we doing?
Y: You haven’t heard?
S: No I haven’t.
S: Please don’t make me do anything horrible.
Na: We called Sakurai out for a particular reason.
Na: It was because of the Battle Field Zeus program which aired last week.
Ariyoshi: Comedians look so cool kicking Johnny’s asses.
Na: The team of comedians, led by Ariyoshi, were pit against the Johnny’s team, led by Sakurai, in various battles.
Na: At the end of the fierce battle, the comedians secured a magnificent win.
Na: The Johnny’s team got onto their knees in frustration. What’s more…
Zeus: The leader, Sakurai-kun…
S: Huh?
Zeus: As the leader, you have an additional punishment.
Na: Which brings us to today, the day of the Zeus battle punishment.
S: I don’t think I’ll be moving much today.
Y: I see.
S: Since I’m dressed like this.
Y: I see.
[Camera pans up to Sho’s jacket.]
Y: You’re in camo today, too.
Ariyoshi: He loves it so.
S: Yeah. Somehow, I end up in camo.
Ariyoshi: He must be dying to hide himself.
Y: The venue is a short walk from here.
S: Where is it? Over there? I hate this, man…
Na: What sort of punishment awaits Sakurai?
Na: Along their way, they discover a hint!
S: Shinjuku Ni-chome?
Na: That’s right, the punishment game is held at Shinjuku Ni-chome!
[T/N: Tokyo’s hub of gay subculture, with a high concentration of gay bars.]
Y: How do you feel upon seeing that signboard?
S: It depends on the extent (of the punishment).
Na: The top idol heads into Ni-chome.
Y: Sakurai-san, have you been to Ni-chome?
S: Yes, but I’ve never really properly walked around. And previously, someone took me to a lesbian bar.
Y: Seriously!?
S: There were tons of women, but they weren’t interested in men.
Y: Oh, I see.
Na: It’s the first time he properly walked around Ni-chome. We first start off with a walking tour of Ni-chome! Sakurai’s popularity in Ni-chome is becomes clear to us when...
Hibari: Oh my, it’s Sakurai-kun!
S: Good evening!
Hibari: I go to your concert at times! Hibari-chan here, nice to meet you! Take care of yourself!
S: Thank you.
Man2: Hey, that’s Sakurai-kun!
S: Hello!
Man2: Oh my, aren’t you a fine specimen of a man!
S: Oh my god.
Y: You could go to Ni-chome.
S: I feel like the bait that was placed in an animal’s cage.
Na: And the eyes of the bait in the cage fell upon…
S: This is crazy… It says here, “NUDE”, but the D isn’t even covering him…
Na: This is a popular Ni-chome shop specializing in men’s underwear.
S: There’s quite a lot of tight-y underwear here.
Kimura: Tighty?
S: Isn’t this crazy?
S: Is this underwear too? A detachable…?
[Picks up the white underwear]
S: So you put your (junk) in here? There’s nothing behind!
Y: Wanna try it on?
S: No. It’s not something I would naturally try on.
Na: Now that he has experienced the atmosphere of Ni-chome…
Na: He finally heads to the punishment game venue!
Y: Sakurai-kun, over here!
S: Is this a regular café? So it aint’ those kinds of bars.
[Sign: CoCoLo Café]
Na: The venue looks like a regular café.
Y: Could you please film yourself from this point on?
Na: The staff pass Sakurai a handheld camera.
S: I’m going in by myself?
Y: Yes.
S: Stop screwing around!
Na: What sort of punishment awaited him!?
Na: After this, a top idol falls prey to the onee!
Na: Please tune in to the hellish footage!
S: Hello~ Whoa! There’s loads of people here!
[General sound of pandemonium]
Onee: SHO-KUN~!! <3
[The Onee hell]
S: Ow ow ow ouch!
S: Where am I going? Where am I going?
S: WHAT!?
Baburina: Welcome~!!
Baburina: Everyone, Sho-kun is here for our Ni-chome night party~!
Onee2: He smells so good!
S: What are we doing today!?
Na: The Zeus punishment game involves Sakurai fulfilling 10 hellish requests from the troublesome onee!
Baburina: Tonight we’ve gathered the onee from all around Ni-chome!
Na: Starting with Baburina, a key member who’s known Matsuko Deluxe for over 15 years, we’ve gathered the ultimate onee troupe from around Ni-chome!
Baburina: Sho-kun, welcome to Ni-chome!
Na: Let the party begin!
Na: Hellish request No. 1:
Baburina: We have to decide on his Ni-chome name!
S: Ni-chome NAME!?
Baburina: You have to!
Onee3: Your gay name*!
[There’s a pun here, because the term used, “gei-mei”, is pronounced the same way as “geimei”, the word for stage name.]
Na: Request No. 1: The onee want Sho to take on a gay name!
S: What sort of names do you have?
Coco: Cherry Shoko in the Sky.
Ariyoshi: Nice one! That’s ni-chome for you.
Coco: Do this when you’re introducing yourself as Cherry Shoko in the Sky.
Sho: Cherry Shoko in the Sky!
To be continued...
櫻井有吉アブナイ夜会 150416 by balababa
Na: Sakurai Sho’s evening parties, part 2!
Na: Last year, we held an evening party for Sakurai in Hawaii.
Na: We were able to catch a glimpse of Sakurai that we don’t normally see.
Na: He changed his outfit before he went out, but for some reason he went from camo pants to camo pants.
Na: I use this little guy when I’m on vacation. It’s a second bag I’ve been using for about 10 years.
Na: Sakurai revealed his rather ugly wardrobe and very dull lifestyle.
Na: Sakurai, who shows us his brilliant side on stage… what side of him will we see at tonight’s party?
Na: We arrange to meet him in front of Shinjuku Gyoen Mae at 6.30pm.
Na: And then…
Sho (S): Hello.
Yakai staff (Y): Hello.
Oshima Yuko: He must really love camo patterns!
S: What are we doing?
Y: You haven’t heard?
S: No I haven’t.
S: Please don’t make me do anything horrible.
Na: We called Sakurai out for a particular reason.
Na: It was because of the Battle Field Zeus program which aired last week.
Ariyoshi: Comedians look so cool kicking Johnny’s asses.
Na: The team of comedians, led by Ariyoshi, were pit against the Johnny’s team, led by Sakurai, in various battles.
Na: At the end of the fierce battle, the comedians secured a magnificent win.
Na: The Johnny’s team got onto their knees in frustration. What’s more…
Zeus: The leader, Sakurai-kun…
S: Huh?
Zeus: As the leader, you have an additional punishment.
Na: Which brings us to today, the day of the Zeus battle punishment.
S: I don’t think I’ll be moving much today.
Y: I see.
S: Since I’m dressed like this.
Y: I see.
[Camera pans up to Sho’s jacket.]
Y: You’re in camo today, too.
Ariyoshi: He loves it so.
S: Yeah. Somehow, I end up in camo.
Ariyoshi: He must be dying to hide himself.
Y: The venue is a short walk from here.
S: Where is it? Over there? I hate this, man…
Na: What sort of punishment awaits Sakurai?
Na: Along their way, they discover a hint!
S: Shinjuku Ni-chome?
Na: That’s right, the punishment game is held at Shinjuku Ni-chome!
[T/N: Tokyo’s hub of gay subculture, with a high concentration of gay bars.]
Y: How do you feel upon seeing that signboard?
S: It depends on the extent (of the punishment).
Na: The top idol heads into Ni-chome.
Y: Sakurai-san, have you been to Ni-chome?
S: Yes, but I’ve never really properly walked around. And previously, someone took me to a lesbian bar.
Y: Seriously!?
S: There were tons of women, but they weren’t interested in men.
Y: Oh, I see.
Na: It’s the first time he properly walked around Ni-chome. We first start off with a walking tour of Ni-chome! Sakurai’s popularity in Ni-chome is becomes clear to us when...
Hibari: Oh my, it’s Sakurai-kun!
S: Good evening!
Hibari: I go to your concert at times! Hibari-chan here, nice to meet you! Take care of yourself!
S: Thank you.
Man2: Hey, that’s Sakurai-kun!
S: Hello!
Man2: Oh my, aren’t you a fine specimen of a man!
S: Oh my god.
Y: You could go to Ni-chome.
S: I feel like the bait that was placed in an animal’s cage.
Na: And the eyes of the bait in the cage fell upon…
S: This is crazy… It says here, “NUDE”, but the D isn’t even covering him…
Na: This is a popular Ni-chome shop specializing in men’s underwear.
S: There’s quite a lot of tight-y underwear here.
Kimura: Tighty?
S: Isn’t this crazy?
S: Is this underwear too? A detachable…?
[Picks up the white underwear]
S: So you put your (junk) in here? There’s nothing behind!
Y: Wanna try it on?
S: No. It’s not something I would naturally try on.
Na: Now that he has experienced the atmosphere of Ni-chome…
Na: He finally heads to the punishment game venue!
Y: Sakurai-kun, over here!
S: Is this a regular café? So it aint’ those kinds of bars.
[Sign: CoCoLo Café]
Na: The venue looks like a regular café.
Y: Could you please film yourself from this point on?
Na: The staff pass Sakurai a handheld camera.
S: I’m going in by myself?
Y: Yes.
S: Stop screwing around!
Na: What sort of punishment awaited him!?
Na: After this, a top idol falls prey to the onee!
Na: Please tune in to the hellish footage!
S: Hello~ Whoa! There’s loads of people here!
[General sound of pandemonium]
Onee: SHO-KUN~!! <3
[The Onee hell]
S: Ow ow ow ouch!
S: Where am I going? Where am I going?
S: WHAT!?
Baburina: Welcome~!!
Baburina: Everyone, Sho-kun is here for our Ni-chome night party~!
Onee2: He smells so good!
S: What are we doing today!?
Na: The Zeus punishment game involves Sakurai fulfilling 10 hellish requests from the troublesome onee!
Baburina: Tonight we’ve gathered the onee from all around Ni-chome!
Na: Starting with Baburina, a key member who’s known Matsuko Deluxe for over 15 years, we’ve gathered the ultimate onee troupe from around Ni-chome!
Baburina: Sho-kun, welcome to Ni-chome!
Na: Let the party begin!
Na: Hellish request No. 1:
Baburina: We have to decide on his Ni-chome name!
S: Ni-chome NAME!?
Baburina: You have to!
Onee3: Your gay name*!
[There’s a pun here, because the term used, “gei-mei”, is pronounced the same way as “geimei”, the word for stage name.]
Na: Request No. 1: The onee want Sho to take on a gay name!
S: What sort of names do you have?
Coco: Cherry Shoko in the Sky.
Ariyoshi: Nice one! That’s ni-chome for you.
Coco: Do this when you’re introducing yourself as Cherry Shoko in the Sky.
Sho: Cherry Shoko in the Sky!
To be continued...