prompt 3: Unwanted Memories
Title: Unwanted Memories
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: Eh, Teen
Disclaimer: All your characters are belong to Jo.
Summary: Remus remembers the days, the nights, and all the time in between.
Prompt:
barefootboys #3
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
Remus remembers the days, the nights, and all the time in between.
He remembers with vivid detail what it felt like waking up with Sirius’ warm, half naked body pressed up against his, one arm draped possessively across his chest, shaggy black hair splayed out across his plain white pillowcase. He remembers breakfast time, how Sirius knew only how to cook eggs, how much cream and sugar he took in his tea, and how he was pretty much monosyllabic until he had those two things in him.
Remus remembers with painful accuracy the nights they spent together; a tangle of strong arms and even stronger legs, hungry mouths and tight bodies. He’ll never forget the sounds Sirius made for him and the sounds Sirius made him make, no matter how hard he tries.
And he remembers all the time in between the daylight and the darkness.
The time he recalls more often than not are the evenings they spent together in the summer, before everything became a jumble of death and mayhem and secrecy. Before the Order owned them both and made them lie to each other. It was during this sacred time when they would spend all evening drinking expensive French wine and making love to one another until the early hours of the next morning.
He remembers, though he wishes like hell he didn‘t, the conversations they would have just moments before the sun was about to rise, about the future. Their future. They had used words like “after the war,” and “as soon as its over.” Remus wishes he had known better than to believe it would ever be over.
He returns to Sirius’ flat only once after Sirius is taken to Azkaban, to pack up his belongings. He’s moving to a flat in London, it’s cheaper and closer to the muggle shop he’d somehow managed to get a job at. When he finally finishes packing away his clothing and all of his books, Remus squeezes his eyes shut as tight as he possibly can. He wants to obliviate himself. He doesn’t want to remember this anymore, what used to be.
Then, at a nearly inhuman speed, Remus darts through the kitchen, wrenching open the cupboard doors, his eyes wild as they fall upon the wine rack. It takes him a rather long time considering how much it pains him to be there, but when he has finished emptying the last bottle of wine into the sink, Remus runs the cold water and banishes the glass bottles into thin air, erasing the evidence of a time he cares not to remember. A time of hope and faith, but mostly, of love. And now, only of loss.
Remus shuts the door behind him and takes one last look at the place. He takes the key out of his pocket, transfigures it into a rock, and chucks it as far as he can into the wood behind the house. He can only hope his futile attempts at erasing the past will be enough.
Without another moments hesitation, Remus grabs his suitcase and disappears, leaving behind the faint pop of apparition and also, a letter on the steps. Intentional or unintentional, it doesn’t matter anymore. The part of his life in that letter has come to an end. It’s only history now.
A letter dated October 30th, 1981
Remus,
I’m sorry about the other night. Everything’s just so crazy right now. I wish I could take back the things I said, but I know that I can’t. Let me make it up to you somehow. Please Remus, I love you. You know I do, right? I do. More than bloody anything. Please forgive me for being such a bastard. I can’t help it, its in my blood. God, I can’t wait for this war to be over and everything to be back to normal.
I’ll pick up a bottle of wine in hopes that you’ll forgive me. I plan to spend all night making it up to you, just the way we used to do. Merlin, I’ve missed you so much.
Yours and Only Yours,
Sirius
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: Eh, Teen
Disclaimer: All your characters are belong to Jo.
Summary: Remus remembers the days, the nights, and all the time in between.
Prompt:
barefootboys #3
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
Remus remembers the days, the nights, and all the time in between.
He remembers with vivid detail what it felt like waking up with Sirius’ warm, half naked body pressed up against his, one arm draped possessively across his chest, shaggy black hair splayed out across his plain white pillowcase. He remembers breakfast time, how Sirius knew only how to cook eggs, how much cream and sugar he took in his tea, and how he was pretty much monosyllabic until he had those two things in him.
Remus remembers with painful accuracy the nights they spent together; a tangle of strong arms and even stronger legs, hungry mouths and tight bodies. He’ll never forget the sounds Sirius made for him and the sounds Sirius made him make, no matter how hard he tries.
And he remembers all the time in between the daylight and the darkness.
The time he recalls more often than not are the evenings they spent together in the summer, before everything became a jumble of death and mayhem and secrecy. Before the Order owned them both and made them lie to each other. It was during this sacred time when they would spend all evening drinking expensive French wine and making love to one another until the early hours of the next morning.
He remembers, though he wishes like hell he didn‘t, the conversations they would have just moments before the sun was about to rise, about the future. Their future. They had used words like “after the war,” and “as soon as its over.” Remus wishes he had known better than to believe it would ever be over.
He returns to Sirius’ flat only once after Sirius is taken to Azkaban, to pack up his belongings. He’s moving to a flat in London, it’s cheaper and closer to the muggle shop he’d somehow managed to get a job at. When he finally finishes packing away his clothing and all of his books, Remus squeezes his eyes shut as tight as he possibly can. He wants to obliviate himself. He doesn’t want to remember this anymore, what used to be.
Then, at a nearly inhuman speed, Remus darts through the kitchen, wrenching open the cupboard doors, his eyes wild as they fall upon the wine rack. It takes him a rather long time considering how much it pains him to be there, but when he has finished emptying the last bottle of wine into the sink, Remus runs the cold water and banishes the glass bottles into thin air, erasing the evidence of a time he cares not to remember. A time of hope and faith, but mostly, of love. And now, only of loss.
Remus shuts the door behind him and takes one last look at the place. He takes the key out of his pocket, transfigures it into a rock, and chucks it as far as he can into the wood behind the house. He can only hope his futile attempts at erasing the past will be enough.
Without another moments hesitation, Remus grabs his suitcase and disappears, leaving behind the faint pop of apparition and also, a letter on the steps. Intentional or unintentional, it doesn’t matter anymore. The part of his life in that letter has come to an end. It’s only history now.
A letter dated October 30th, 1981
Remus,
I’m sorry about the other night. Everything’s just so crazy right now. I wish I could take back the things I said, but I know that I can’t. Let me make it up to you somehow. Please Remus, I love you. You know I do, right? I do. More than bloody anything. Please forgive me for being such a bastard. I can’t help it, its in my blood. God, I can’t wait for this war to be over and everything to be back to normal.
I’ll pick up a bottle of wine in hopes that you’ll forgive me. I plan to spend all night making it up to you, just the way we used to do. Merlin, I’ve missed you so much.
Yours and Only Yours,
Sirius