(no subject)
For those anxiously awaiting an update on my cervix.
I took my Xanax at 9:30. Decided I didn't feel like showering because I much preferred the sleepy state I was in. Dad and I left for the gyno at 9:50. Appointment at 10:15. I was out by 11:30. It was much less painful than I anticipated. Surprisingly, my blood pressure was normal. Had to sit in my all-time-favorite-chair-ever (crotch up!), but managed not to suffer from the oh-god-I'm-going-to-pass-out symptoms like I did the last few times I had to. My ass does, however, hurt today from being in said position, holding my legs up in the stirrups for so long. *laughs* The worst parts were the size of the speculum (holy christ . . . that's all I'm saying) and the Lidocaine injections. Lots of uncomfortable amounts of pressure. By the time he got around to turning the machine on (which sounded an awful lot like a vacuum cleaner) and cutting through my cervix like butter (hey, his words, not mine), I barely felt it.
So, now what was once a piece of my body gets sent off to a lab. As long as it confirms the results of my previous biopsies, I can go back to pap smears every 4-6 months. If they find anything worse in the sample, than I'll get another of my favorite types of phone calls. With any luck, this will put an end to what started 4 years ago. *is trying not to become too hopeful*
The assistant, who I know from outside the office because she's a good friend of my mom's, was super sweet and tried distracting me with conversation. Everything from "oh god, your father's in the waiting room offering discounts on breast exams" (he wasn't even out there, for the record, but a small part of me could totally imagine it) to "what are you doing in school now?" Laughing is good. However, trying to have an actual conversation about your research interests with the guy whose head is between your legs and his assistant is . . . tricky. Hell, I still struggle with explaining it to my adviser. (Or to myself, for that matter.) "Um, something about social movements . . . legal strategies . . . um . . . " Yeah, not my most eloquent moment.
Stopped on the way home so dad could by me a giant dish of soft serve vanilla with peanut butter sauce. Came home, watched Kinky Boots in the basement while I ate. Started to feel like shit (I suspect it was a bit how those who suffer from really bad PMS - the kind that sends you to bed - might feel), so I went to bed and slept from 2:30-6:00. Surprisingly, I felt pretty good once I woke up.
If not for the 4-6 weeks without tampons and sex, I'd say I'll take a LEEP over a colposcopy any day. I was surprised to suffer from less pain in the former than I have during the latter. Granted, the Xanax no doubt helped to take the edge off.
So, I completely missed that it was September 11. Reflecting on the last 6 years, however, probably would have made me feel just as queasy, nauseous, and so forth as I felt yesterday afternoon. So we'll consider it remembered.
Back to Seattle tomorrow where, sadly, I will no longer be able to live in my fabulous state of denial. I have my TA assignment (constitutional law . . . *groan*), my office (at least I don't have to move all of my shit), the department fall reception is scheduled (two weeks from Friday), which means the quarter starts in slightly less than two weeks (wants to cry). This also means Shauna better get her ass in gear and do all of the RA work she's been pretending to do for the last month.
11:10am. Guess I could shower.
I took my Xanax at 9:30. Decided I didn't feel like showering because I much preferred the sleepy state I was in. Dad and I left for the gyno at 9:50. Appointment at 10:15. I was out by 11:30. It was much less painful than I anticipated. Surprisingly, my blood pressure was normal. Had to sit in my all-time-favorite-chair-ever (crotch up!), but managed not to suffer from the oh-god-I'm-going-to-pass-out symptoms like I did the last few times I had to. My ass does, however, hurt today from being in said position, holding my legs up in the stirrups for so long. *laughs* The worst parts were the size of the speculum (holy christ . . . that's all I'm saying) and the Lidocaine injections. Lots of uncomfortable amounts of pressure. By the time he got around to turning the machine on (which sounded an awful lot like a vacuum cleaner) and cutting through my cervix like butter (hey, his words, not mine), I barely felt it.
So, now what was once a piece of my body gets sent off to a lab. As long as it confirms the results of my previous biopsies, I can go back to pap smears every 4-6 months. If they find anything worse in the sample, than I'll get another of my favorite types of phone calls. With any luck, this will put an end to what started 4 years ago. *is trying not to become too hopeful*
The assistant, who I know from outside the office because she's a good friend of my mom's, was super sweet and tried distracting me with conversation. Everything from "oh god, your father's in the waiting room offering discounts on breast exams" (he wasn't even out there, for the record, but a small part of me could totally imagine it) to "what are you doing in school now?" Laughing is good. However, trying to have an actual conversation about your research interests with the guy whose head is between your legs and his assistant is . . . tricky. Hell, I still struggle with explaining it to my adviser. (Or to myself, for that matter.) "Um, something about social movements . . . legal strategies . . . um . . . " Yeah, not my most eloquent moment.
Stopped on the way home so dad could by me a giant dish of soft serve vanilla with peanut butter sauce. Came home, watched Kinky Boots in the basement while I ate. Started to feel like shit (I suspect it was a bit how those who suffer from really bad PMS - the kind that sends you to bed - might feel), so I went to bed and slept from 2:30-6:00. Surprisingly, I felt pretty good once I woke up.
If not for the 4-6 weeks without tampons and sex, I'd say I'll take a LEEP over a colposcopy any day. I was surprised to suffer from less pain in the former than I have during the latter. Granted, the Xanax no doubt helped to take the edge off.
So, I completely missed that it was September 11. Reflecting on the last 6 years, however, probably would have made me feel just as queasy, nauseous, and so forth as I felt yesterday afternoon. So we'll consider it remembered.
Back to Seattle tomorrow where, sadly, I will no longer be able to live in my fabulous state of denial. I have my TA assignment (constitutional law . . . *groan*), my office (at least I don't have to move all of my shit), the department fall reception is scheduled (two weeks from Friday), which means the quarter starts in slightly less than two weeks (wants to cry). This also means Shauna better get her ass in gear and do all of the RA work she's been pretending to do for the last month.
11:10am. Guess I could shower.