SPN Challenge fic

[barkeep]

mgbutterfly talked me into signing up for a challenge over at spn_dailylife. I started off gangbusters - outline, some dialogue, I was pretty happy with it as a start. But then with moving and the new job I just ran out of time to do it justice

Comments

[iamstealthyone]

Nicely done. I like what you did with the primrose prompt.

There’s kind of an eerie-dreamy feel to this piece that works well. I definitely found myself wanting to make it all better for the poor, angsty boys.

Favorite lines:

Hated that when he came out of the shower one morning he'd found Sam sitting on the bed, his headphones on and blaring loud enough for Dean to hear them. His eyes were squeezed shut, his hands fisted in his hair as he thumped his head against the wall, muttering, "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up."

Oh, Sam. It hurts to think of him like this.

Dean was leather and orange and motor oil and spearmint; this was flowers and dawn and the sharp-cold fist of winter not ready to let go of the Earth. It wasn't Dean but it was.

Great description, and very interesting.

Sam froze and rubbed his head with one hand. She reminded him a little of Missouri... well, Missouri when she talked to Dean anyway.

*g*

Sam was ready now, ready for war. He was ready to wage the battle for his brother's soul

[barkeep]

::flails::
Thanks so much for the kindness.
I'm glad you enjoyed it - now I just wish I could stop writing the emo stuff and have a nice little plotless porn...

But I had a little trouble writing this, it was a bit of a style departure for me, so I'm glad it worked.
Thanks!

[apgeeksout]

Nicely done!

Sometimes Sam thought that angry desperation was the glue that held Dean together and without it he'd simply fall apart.
I like that! It's bitter & sharp & a piece of the truth.

& the 'glass half-full of hemlock' exchange is a great line.

[barkeep]

Thanks!
Glad you agree with my (Sam's) observations on Dean. This story sat very uncomfortably with me, so I'm glad to hear it worked for you.

But I did enjoy the few moments of humor I was able to throw in (like the hemlock line).
Thanks again.

[bogwitch]

Beautifully written. Great stuff!

[barkeep]

Thank you!
"Squee!" I squeed, squeeingly.

I had an emo-bitch of a time with this so I'm glad you enjoyed it.
:-D

[bogwitch]

I know the feeling well.

[mgbutterfly]

Like everything you write, I have so much love for this. It's desperate and painful and dream-like and it captures an urgency for the boys to save each other. The schmoop isn't overly schmoopy and the angst is so freakin' good it hurts

"Whaduhfuh, Deh? Whym'i innatu?"
Bwahahahaha!

I less than three you so much! Whaduhfuh, Deh? Whyu sodah awhsoh?

[barkeep]

Well, I felt desperate writing it, so I suppose that urgency bled through. :-)
Whaduhfuh, Sah? Why'ru sodahnice?"