(no subject)
HAHA
i used to be convinced that i was never addicted--that it was a habit that i could drop for good, for my own good. and i know if i had smoked it then, it would have been twenty times worse. i'm lucky i don't binge for whole weeks at a time now. but 2 years after i "quit" i started smoking it. and now i'm doing it behind people's backs. it makes me look at myself with disgust... when i'm clean. i want to punch myself in the face and yell "SNAP OUT OF IT." i can't decide if i am self-destructive or over-indulgent. i like to think i'm just too eager.
at least i freed myself from a formal, absolute relationship. it's strange being single... but not.