(no subject)
I give thanks to God that this horrible existence is almost over. It needs to end now.
All enjoyment of life is nostalgia now. Every day is malfunction and misery, solitary, pointless, joyless, worrisome - I want so badly to let go. To put an end to this endless, terrible sadness, this constant grieving for what I have lost, the life that has slipped away…
I want it all back, or to be unaware of the loss - or of anything else. To put me out of my misery does not seem a bad thing at all. People die every day. I'm just one more, of no importance.
May it be soon.
High school classmates are dropping off now like autumn apples, another and another. It's time.
All my dreams are of yesterday
And of songs I used to sing
Maybe I'll come home in the Spring…