My new goal in life is to eventually be burned in effigy.

I wonder how Sisyphus felt the very second he was half-way up the hill? I mean the first time might obviously fail but he wouldn't know yet that his task was doomed to fail.

Alan: You know Denny, things are beginning to swing your way again... Transvestites are now a threat to national security.
Denny: Well, why shouldn't they be? Its a disguise. There could be a muslim under all that mascara.

What do an eccentric liberal attorney and a degenerate conservative demagogue have in common? ... Sex

Denny Crane to Alan Shore:
(confused) Measuring you for pants! ... (suspicious) Is this a fetish? ... (Intrigued) Would I like it?

Why is this funny? I have no idea.

I fucking hate fever induced nightmares. I woke up yelling and nearly shot the TV.

The jasmine died. At least it lasted a year. Final reminder that I have to dig up and dispose of when my body stops hurting.

The first thing I ever remember my boss saying was "Where you stand is based on where you sit." Five years ago, a tuesday, I was sitting in a 1950's era class room waiting for my History of the Roman Empire to begin. The professor, a German ex-pat, with a profound macrosense of history and how the world has evolved into the current manifestation ( Read more... )

So as a right of passage I brought a friend back to Texas and down to my childhood home with parents and all. During a moment after dinner we were all lounging around on the couches when out comes the picture albums of your's truly. Despite what amounted to some terrible stories from my young and stupider days there was an entire album dedicated to ( Read more... )

And seeing the multitudes, he went up over the mountain in his flying chariot: and when his arming mechanism was hot, his disciples came unto his wing, and he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying: disciple Goose, blessed are the rules of engagement, for they are written for your safety and that of my apostles, and blessed are they for their ( Read more... )

There is a new overwhelming urge to make chili like RIGHT NOW! I mean I have the meat in the fridge and the five types of peppers to put in it. I'm desperately hungry for something warm and filling but its late and it would be nearly an hour before it would be done.

ARGH. F-ing dilemnas....

Something that really bothers me. Back in the days of Junior High and High School my school district purchased like a thousand clocks. One for each and every room. The problem was that the numbers on the clocks were kinda freaky. The No.2 and the No.7 were identical. They merely flipped the two upside-down and made a seven. Don't believe me? See ( Read more... )