THE GERBIL BRIGADE AND THE MURDER...
Tim and I did this in high school. It started with a simple "Alarm: gerbil alert!" and quickly became something ridiculous... We were doing it on AIM, and it randomly developed into this... we just kept fucking funning with it... I have no idea why...
Without further delay, I present to you all
THE GERBIL BRIGADE AND THE MURDER...
Alarm: gerbil alert!
Ensign Bendy: Aaaaaahhhh!
Captian Oddjob: code fuzzy! code fuzzy!
Ensign Bendy: Man your battlestations! WE'VE GOT GERBILS!
Captian Oddjob: Dive, Dive! full astern! we can't take on GERBILS! Espically not siamese swimming gerbils!
Ensign Bendy: Cap'n Oddjob, we're losing power to the engines!
Captian Oddjob: Switch to...The Gerbil Intake Suction Scoop Thingy! We'll use the gerbils to generate power!
Ensign Bendy: Activate the GISST!
[a large vacuum comes out of the front of the sub and begins inhailing gerbils]
[aft hatch opens and mushed up gerbil fluid begins to shoot out the bask, driving the sub forward]
Ensign Bendy: Sir, we're coming up on an unidentified island! If we don't stop sucking gerbils, we'll hit it!
Captian Oddjob: Hit it! We can use the heat fron that volcano to scare away the gerbils!
[sub hits island] THWAP!
Captian Oddjob: Abandon ship! Everyone head up toward that volcano!
[crew jumps out and begins running] Hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup!
Soldier #1: Sir, what's that rumble?
[the whole island begins to quake as the volcano blows its top. a flaming boulder lands on the sub]
Soldier #2: So ends the Millenium Falcon, sir!
Ensign Bendy: Oh no! Hey, look over there, a yacht club!
[The yacht saves us, just in time]
Captian Ahab: I am Captian Ahab. (to his crew) Take them to the dungeon!
Ensign Bendy: EEeeeeeeekkkk!
Captian Oddjob: Ensign Bendy! Here. They didn't confiscate my pocket size, James Bond-Edition-velcro-to-my-arm-rocket launcher! blow a hole in the side, and we'll swim for it!
Ensign Bendy: [velcros it to his arm] Stand aside, sir! [fires]
[side of the ship burst open, only to reveal that this part of the ship, is below sea lever!]
Ensign Bendy: Son of a biscuit!
[water begins rushing in]
Ensign Bendy: SIR, MORE GERBILS!
Captian Oddjob: [gerbils eat me] AAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!! [i'm dead]
Ensign Bendy: NOOO! THOSE GERBIL BASTARDS! [fires several rockets at gerbils]
[mime enters the scene, and uses mime-speak to tell Ensign Bendy that i am Captian Oddjob, reincarnated in a mime's body]
Ensign Bendy: Egads! Wait...you can hear me, right?
Captian Oddjob: [nods head yes]
Ensign Bendy: Excellent.
Captian Oddjob: [begins shooting the gerbils with his mime-rocket-launcher, and to Ensign Bendy's surprise, it starts blowing away the gerbils. Hands bendy a mime o2 tank]
Ensign Bendy: Let's huch it! [puts it on and swims for it]
Captian Oddjob: Joins. Thanks to his never ending supply of imiaginary o2, we make it all the way to the coast of th US and go home. Than I eat cheesecake untill i explode and die...again]
Ensign Bendy: Huggbees!
Captian Oddjob: Awwwww [i scream as i am exploding, and then i think, it's a good thing i'm dying, because i just broke my mime training.] I AM A SINNER!
[drum fill] Da-Dum-Pissh
Later...
Oddjob: Get no arguement here. Hey, do you mind, if i put that gerbil encounter on my site?
Bendy: knock yourself out, man!
Oddjob: Bitching! [falls to the ground, unconscious]
Bendy: Mike? Miiiiiike? Hmm...[riffles through his wallet]
[Bendy finds wallet to be empty]
Bendy: Son of a-! Ah, Well, it'll get $5 on eBay...
Mr. Kulak, the star of: "donut hole", walks in and kills Bendy, then leaves]
Bendy: Gah! [falls over, dead]
[Robert Stack walks in] And that is how these two promising high schoolers were killed. If you havd any information on the wherabouts of Mr. Kulak or the Gerbil Brigade, please contact your local authorities.
Thank you.
I'd like to thank Stephanie & Bailey Lynch for obtaining a copy of this and sending it to me... I don't know how you did it but you worked a miraculous feat!
I hope you enjoyed... I know I did.
Without further delay, I present to you all
THE GERBIL BRIGADE AND THE MURDER...
Alarm: gerbil alert!
Ensign Bendy: Aaaaaahhhh!
Captian Oddjob: code fuzzy! code fuzzy!
Ensign Bendy: Man your battlestations! WE'VE GOT GERBILS!
Captian Oddjob: Dive, Dive! full astern! we can't take on GERBILS! Espically not siamese swimming gerbils!
Ensign Bendy: Cap'n Oddjob, we're losing power to the engines!
Captian Oddjob: Switch to...The Gerbil Intake Suction Scoop Thingy! We'll use the gerbils to generate power!
Ensign Bendy: Activate the GISST!
[a large vacuum comes out of the front of the sub and begins inhailing gerbils]
[aft hatch opens and mushed up gerbil fluid begins to shoot out the bask, driving the sub forward]
Ensign Bendy: Sir, we're coming up on an unidentified island! If we don't stop sucking gerbils, we'll hit it!
Captian Oddjob: Hit it! We can use the heat fron that volcano to scare away the gerbils!
[sub hits island] THWAP!
Captian Oddjob: Abandon ship! Everyone head up toward that volcano!
[crew jumps out and begins running] Hup hup hup hup hup hup hup hup!
Soldier #1: Sir, what's that rumble?
[the whole island begins to quake as the volcano blows its top. a flaming boulder lands on the sub]
Soldier #2: So ends the Millenium Falcon, sir!
Ensign Bendy: Oh no! Hey, look over there, a yacht club!
[The yacht saves us, just in time]
Captian Ahab: I am Captian Ahab. (to his crew) Take them to the dungeon!
Ensign Bendy: EEeeeeeeekkkk!
Captian Oddjob: Ensign Bendy! Here. They didn't confiscate my pocket size, James Bond-Edition-velcro-to-my-arm-rocket launcher! blow a hole in the side, and we'll swim for it!
Ensign Bendy: [velcros it to his arm] Stand aside, sir! [fires]
[side of the ship burst open, only to reveal that this part of the ship, is below sea lever!]
Ensign Bendy: Son of a biscuit!
[water begins rushing in]
Ensign Bendy: SIR, MORE GERBILS!
Captian Oddjob: [gerbils eat me] AAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!! [i'm dead]
Ensign Bendy: NOOO! THOSE GERBIL BASTARDS! [fires several rockets at gerbils]
[mime enters the scene, and uses mime-speak to tell Ensign Bendy that i am Captian Oddjob, reincarnated in a mime's body]
Ensign Bendy: Egads! Wait...you can hear me, right?
Captian Oddjob: [nods head yes]
Ensign Bendy: Excellent.
Captian Oddjob: [begins shooting the gerbils with his mime-rocket-launcher, and to Ensign Bendy's surprise, it starts blowing away the gerbils. Hands bendy a mime o2 tank]
Ensign Bendy: Let's huch it! [puts it on and swims for it]
Captian Oddjob: Joins. Thanks to his never ending supply of imiaginary o2, we make it all the way to the coast of th US and go home. Than I eat cheesecake untill i explode and die...again]
Ensign Bendy: Huggbees!
Captian Oddjob: Awwwww [i scream as i am exploding, and then i think, it's a good thing i'm dying, because i just broke my mime training.] I AM A SINNER!
[drum fill] Da-Dum-Pissh
Later...
Oddjob: Get no arguement here. Hey, do you mind, if i put that gerbil encounter on my site?
Bendy: knock yourself out, man!
Oddjob: Bitching! [falls to the ground, unconscious]
Bendy: Mike? Miiiiiike? Hmm...[riffles through his wallet]
[Bendy finds wallet to be empty]
Bendy: Son of a-! Ah, Well, it'll get $5 on eBay...
Mr. Kulak, the star of: "donut hole", walks in and kills Bendy, then leaves]
Bendy: Gah! [falls over, dead]
[Robert Stack walks in] And that is how these two promising high schoolers were killed. If you havd any information on the wherabouts of Mr. Kulak or the Gerbil Brigade, please contact your local authorities.
Thank you.
I'd like to thank Stephanie & Bailey Lynch for obtaining a copy of this and sending it to me... I don't know how you did it but you worked a miraculous feat!
I hope you enjoyed... I know I did.