Dear Giant Turkey, I would like a Thanksgiving Day miracle, here is my offering
*shifty glance*
COME ON SPOOKY CAB MAGIC, COME BACK TO ME.
“It's not going to work,” Cash says, toeing out his cigarette.
“Why not?” his mother asks. “Don't leave that butt out there.”
Cash reaches down and scoops up the butt from the patio and puts it in the coffee tin his mother has left out for him. “Because I've tried, mom. I've tried a hundred times, I just really messed up.”
She shakes her head. “Saying you've tried doesn't mean you've actually tried. Have you actually said the words?”
“Said I'm sorry? Of course I have!”
“Like, said why, and then that you're sorry.”
Cash stares down at his shoes. “They all know.”
Cash's mom sighs. “I really don't think that you have. You said you talked to him last night.”
“It doesn't count if he was too drunk to remember anything other than the fact that he maybe talked to me. And that was mostly because I was talking to my replacement and Singer came over to pee on him.”
“Excuse me?”
“Metaphorically. To mark his territory.”
“Oh thank God,” she says as pulls the turkey out of the oven to baste it. “I was worried that he actually peed on someone.”
“Mom!”
“What, I've read about that. Some people get, you know.”
“Stop it!” Cash covers his ears with his hands. “I don't want to know anything about your knowledge of watersports!”
“What a silly term, I mean, I really am into real water sports, like water skiing.”
“Please stop.”
“Fine, you should call him,” she says, putting the turkey back in. She swats Cash's hand away when he tries to steal some of the pecans for the candied yams.
“He won't pick up.”
“You won't know unless you try.”
COME ON SPOOKY CAB MAGIC, COME BACK TO ME.
“It's not going to work,” Cash says, toeing out his cigarette.
“Why not?” his mother asks. “Don't leave that butt out there.”
Cash reaches down and scoops up the butt from the patio and puts it in the coffee tin his mother has left out for him. “Because I've tried, mom. I've tried a hundred times, I just really messed up.”
She shakes her head. “Saying you've tried doesn't mean you've actually tried. Have you actually said the words?”
“Said I'm sorry? Of course I have!”
“Like, said why, and then that you're sorry.”
Cash stares down at his shoes. “They all know.”
Cash's mom sighs. “I really don't think that you have. You said you talked to him last night.”
“It doesn't count if he was too drunk to remember anything other than the fact that he maybe talked to me. And that was mostly because I was talking to my replacement and Singer came over to pee on him.”
“Excuse me?”
“Metaphorically. To mark his territory.”
“Oh thank God,” she says as pulls the turkey out of the oven to baste it. “I was worried that he actually peed on someone.”
“Mom!”
“What, I've read about that. Some people get, you know.”
“Stop it!” Cash covers his ears with his hands. “I don't want to know anything about your knowledge of watersports!”
“What a silly term, I mean, I really am into real water sports, like water skiing.”
“Please stop.”
“Fine, you should call him,” she says, putting the turkey back in. She swats Cash's hand away when he tries to steal some of the pecans for the candied yams.
“He won't pick up.”
“You won't know unless you try.”