2nd bite

[battleaxebass]

Attention all wonderland weenies!

[Marceline can be seen on the other end of the feed, grinning a wicked grin. Look at those fangs! She turns the camera around to show a door. In fact, it’s the door to the basement. With a giant M carved on the front. With what was probably her claws.]You see that? That’s M. M for Marceline! That’s right, this is

Comments

[pottershotter]

[James' immediate response is to gasp and stare like she's going to come through the screen at him. Like, well. A deer in the headlights, if you will. Ha ha ha.

But, like a good prankster, he knows when someone's messing with him, so he laughs and any mild fear turns immediately into awe.]

A vampire? That's brilliant! I've never met one before.

[battleaxebass]

[lol i see what you did thar. She does enjoy being a subject of awe though, and it butters her up a bit.]

Yeah, the vampire shortage here is kind of a drag. But hey, the first one you've met is also the best!

[pottershotter]

Guess I'm pretty lucky then, since I got to meet the best vampire.

I'm James, by the way. That bat thing was spectacular!

[battleaxebass]

Hahaha, you sure are!

Hey James. I guessed you're not easily spooked, huh.

[calculatedfire]

... That's a little over the top. [Completely deadpan and monotone.]

[battleaxebass]

[Well you're no fun.]

Over the top? Psh. Vampire turning into a bat, that's kind of run-of-the-mill, don't you think?

[calculatedfire]

I meant your speech.

[battleaxebass]

No way! There's no such thing as over-the-top when you're trying to instill fear in the masses.

[Voice] I'm sorry I can't seem to do short tags fml

[bitchingwhores]

[Ah, to humor or not to humor, that is the question posed at Adachi as he views this feed.]

Oh, wow! A real life vampire, huh?

[Oh, wait, he has to dial in some more surprise. One moment. He has to hope pretending to view this live works.]

Ah! Sheesh, I wasn't expecting you to be serious! W-Well, you shouldn't have any trouble keeping people out of your room, miss!

[Somehow, it seems wrong to call her 'Marceline-san'. Calling people by their first names has never been his thing, and he can tell the one she provided is exactly that.]

[Voice]

[battleaxebass]

Haha! You're an easy scare, aren't you?

But you're right, mortal, you'd have to be crazy to visit a vampire's lair. That sort of thing gets adventurers killed every day. A pity.

[Voice]

[bitchingwhores]

[Objective 1: convince girl he's harmless? Accomplished.]

I'm only human here! [He sounds flustered.] I mean, you're kind of... Well, I thought you were just some kid fooling around until you transformed.

...N-Not to undermine you at all, miss. Now that I know you're serious, I promise I'll stay out of your way. It's just, I've never seen a vampire before, so now I'm kinda curious. How old are you, miss?

[Voice]

[battleaxebass]

I'm the vampire queen. I don't just "fool around"

[Actually, she does. A lot. Like right now for instance. But shhhh that's a secret.]

Eh, a thousand, give or take a decade.