Life

[bballgurl5921dt]

It hurts me inside to see them ripped apart.

Starting first inside, at the their innocent heart...

Early in the morning, they contemplate their life..

Feeling all relentless pain, cutting sharper than a knife.

Snap shots of images playing like a show,

Of terrifying memories... it's those they can't let go.

Relaxing into comfort, they lay in

Comments

[__addict]

it sounds good to me.
i used to write poetry, but not the rhyming kind, since i can't rhyme for crap.
good luck<3

[bballgurl5921dt]

Thanks Kristen,
I love writing peotry..
This poem needs work (such as an ending..)
It just might go into my "not finished" pile of poems..
WHO KNOWS!! lol

[w0rn0utnsl33py]

Hi! This is KEaten, btw. I was going to give some critisizem to your poetry if you dont mind. I just want to know what kind of critisizem you would like... (the straight forward kind, 100% truthfull, and the nice kind. lol.)

-sigh-

[bballgurl5921dt]

HI KEATEN!!!
.. umm.. about the poetry.. feel free to nit pick at it all you want! I know that it sucks!.. that is why it might go into my pile unfinished poems...
Whenever you critisize.. ALWAYS be 100% honest with me and straight forward... (ex... your peotry sucks... ).. Do not be all gushy and shit like that!.. lol
*~RAe~*