Today was a shitstorm.
I haven't cried since I saw Free Willy in theatres when I was six but I almost lost it tonight. Today was just too much.
I skipped two early classes so I could work on the primary today. My boss got me jacked on red bull and had me doing shit til 5:30, making calls, running around, doing the work the Tech Director of a Democratic Party office is expected to do, then rushed me back to campus for my last class of the day. I hung out with Alan for a while after, which was fun, and I got a burrito, which was nice because until that point all I'd had in the way of food was three cans of Red Bull, a 2-liter of Pepsi and a handful of cigarettes.
I went back to my dorm room and some shit happened. The end result of which was me almost losing it, and losing something else. Something important. So I went outside, to smoke my last cigarette, alone, in the rain.
I'd almost finished it and I think if nothing had happened at that point I would've started crying under the tree I was using as a crappy umbrella. But, in true Truman Show style, the fire alarm in my dorm went off and my friend Sarah got woken out of a sound sleep and had to run out of the building, and coincidentally picked the entrance I was at. So I gave her my hoodie, and she made me feel like less of a piece of shit. After we went in me and D turned on Jackass and that cheered me up a little too. So, having had a day with a level of fucked upness unusual even for me, which is saying something, I sit here with my newfound pouch of tobacco Sarah had, rolling my new last cigarette and getting ready to finish the day.
I hope I can be her roommate. I want to live with someone who seems to care about me like she does. I just realized she can actually read this now. Night Sar, tomorrow I'll take my hoodie and the five quarters in it back. I hope it keeps you as warm as you kept me tonight.