Lucas should not be allowed to use metaphors ever
Lucas
5:10: .....
5:10: youre not supposed to like me hating you dude
5:10: its supposed to make you feel bad
5:10: and like haunt you and stuff
Wallace
5:10: nnnnnnope, feels pretty pure and awesome from up here
5:10: job's done
Lucas
5:12: you have a stupid job
5:12: also you're fired
5:12: yep
5:12: just fired your ass
Wallace
5:12: fired from -- hating you?
Lucas
5:12: yes
5:12: you're unemployed now
5:12: but luckily for you i have an opening
Wallace
5:13: -- X)
Lucas
5:13: in the "lucas is the fucking man" department
Wallace
5:13: you know, your hours don't do it for me at all, and the pay's kinda crap, so i might have to take my business elsewhere
5:13: you should really treat your employees better
Lucas
5:13: uh i treat my employees AWESOME
5:13: you've just been in the wrong fucking branch
Wallace
5:14: why did you even open that branch?
Lucas
5:14: ....
5:14: i...didnt
5:14: it opened....on its own?
5:14: i dont know it had something to do with a union?
5:15: probably
5:15: either way im shutting it down
Wallace
5:15: and all aboard the worship express?
Lucas
5:15: yes
5:15: that sounds so good
5:15: and like a company i would invest stock in
Wallace
5:16: well, you have fun with that. i think i'm gonna miss the train
Lucas
5:16: there arent any other trains dude
5:16: you'll just end up being that stinky homeless man at the station
5:16: that people point at when they're with their kids
5:16: like "dont turn out to be that guy"
Wallace
5:16: you really need to pay attention to what metaphor's going where when i'm trying to tell you that i have better things to do
5:17: like dust my bureau
Lucas
5:17: ....dude that was an awesome metaphor
5:17: man i was about to make a crack about you using a martini glass for change
5:17: way to ruin it
Wallace
5:17: The kind where i'm a dirty unattractive hobo? guy, look at me
5:17: how believable is that
Lucas
5:18: i didnt say unattractive, i just said stinky, haha
Wallace
5:18: stinky people are immediately unattractive by default
5:18: that's just how it works
Lucas
5:18: well if you were just some hot dude sitting at the train station begging for change
5:18: you would get like....zero change
5:18: no ones gonna feel bad for you man
5:18: you really need to rethink your business strategy on this one
Wallace
5:19: that's because they don't NEED to feel bad for me. i'm awesome. poor, but awesome.
5:19: also that's why i have an actual job.
Lucas
5:19: and STARVING
Wallace
5:19: one that's not worshipping lucas lee.
Lucas
5:19: no wait in this metaphor you were fired
Wallace
5:19: then i'll work a street corner
5:19: fuck it
Lucas
5:19: ...thats illegal
5:19: in the Lucas Lee Train Station
5:20: and TOWN
5:20: Lee Town
Wallace
5:20: You own the whole TOWN now -- why would i have moved here?
5:20: was i drugged?
5:20: did you drug me?
Lucas
5:20: no because you want to be there
5:20: you try to get out
5:20: but it keeps sucking you back in
Wallace
5:20: it's Lee Town. it's not the house of the rising sun.
Lucas
5:20: and all the other towns blow
Wallace
5:20: this one blows pretty hard too - poor hookers can't even get jobs
Lucas
5:21: no one needs hookers cuz everyone's getting laid!
5:21: thats the first amendment
5:21: of Lee Town
Wallace
5:21: So, you're giving me a job in a town where everyone has to get laid
5:21: where my job position
5:21: is essentially getting on my knees for you
Lucas
5:22: .....
5:22: to worship
Wallace
5:22: cuz, i mean, i'm in that department
5:22: people worship on their knees
5:22: same thing
Lucas
5:22: right but
5:22: just to worship
5:22: is the job position
5:22: wait
Wallace
5:22: how else am i gonna show my affection? this job sucks.
Lucas
5:22: THERE ARE OTHER WAYS DUDE
5:22: haha not as much as you want to
5:23: that was a blow job joke
Wallace
5:23: i did notice that
5:23: good job
Lucas
5:23: thanks
5:23: man see you're already showing that you belong in this position
5:23: you're a natural
Wallace
5:23: at blowies or worshipping?
Lucas
5:23: dude
5:23: how would i know the first one
Wallace
5:24: well, i mean, there's always a private demonstration
5:24: ...../sssssssip
Lucas
5:25: ....
5:25: dude
5:25: how am i supposed to allow that if you're hoggin all the booze
5:25: THAT WAS A JOKE
Wallace
5:25: you barely even gave the punchline time to sit before you dumped it out
5:26: i mean, be further in the closet
5:26: how's narnia looking?
Lucas
5:26: oh my god fuck you and fuck narnia
Wallace
5:26: give mr tumnus my regards
Lucas
5:26: i told you the punchline because you wouldnt have gotten it otherwise!
5:26: i will curbstomp tumnus
5:26: i swear to god
5:27: and it will be your fault
Wallace
5:27: NOOOOOO MR TUMNUS!
Lucas
5:27: NOT THAT IM IN NARNIA
5:27: i was just saying if i WAS
Wallace
5:27: YOU'RE A MONSTER!
Lucas
5:27: thats right
5:27: kickin goat ass
5:27: haha
5:27: me and aslan having a beer
5:27: like on the first day
5:27: cuz i'd win in like two hours
5:28: and he'd be like "dude those kids sucked we should have just called you from the start"
Wallace
5:28: curbstomping james mcavoy and getting qui gon kitty smashed
5:28: great
Lucas
5:28: you were the one who made me go there, dude
5:28: so really its your fault
Wallace
5:28: no, you're not allowed in narnia
5:28: come out of the closet, lucas
Lucas
5:28: thats what i'll right on tumnus' gravestone
Wallace
5:28: come on out
Lucas
5:28: "here lies tumnus"
5:29: "Bit the curb like a champ"
5:29: "thank you wallace wells"
Wallace
5:29: there are no words to describe how much you have just murdered my childhood
Lucas
5:29: haha, im totally out of the closet now, i win
5:29: wait
5:29: god dammit
Wallace
5:30: /TROLLFACE.JPEG
Lucas
5:30: I HATE YOU AND IM GLAD YOURE THE STINKY TOWN HOBO
5:10: .....
5:10: youre not supposed to like me hating you dude
5:10: its supposed to make you feel bad
5:10: and like haunt you and stuff
Wallace
5:10: nnnnnnope, feels pretty pure and awesome from up here
5:10: job's done
Lucas
5:12: you have a stupid job
5:12: also you're fired
5:12: yep
5:12: just fired your ass
Wallace
5:12: fired from -- hating you?
Lucas
5:12: yes
5:12: you're unemployed now
5:12: but luckily for you i have an opening
Wallace
5:13: -- X)
Lucas
5:13: in the "lucas is the fucking man" department
Wallace
5:13: you know, your hours don't do it for me at all, and the pay's kinda crap, so i might have to take my business elsewhere
5:13: you should really treat your employees better
Lucas
5:13: uh i treat my employees AWESOME
5:13: you've just been in the wrong fucking branch
Wallace
5:14: why did you even open that branch?
Lucas
5:14: ....
5:14: i...didnt
5:14: it opened....on its own?
5:14: i dont know it had something to do with a union?
5:15: probably
5:15: either way im shutting it down
Wallace
5:15: and all aboard the worship express?
Lucas
5:15: yes
5:15: that sounds so good
5:15: and like a company i would invest stock in
Wallace
5:16: well, you have fun with that. i think i'm gonna miss the train
Lucas
5:16: there arent any other trains dude
5:16: you'll just end up being that stinky homeless man at the station
5:16: that people point at when they're with their kids
5:16: like "dont turn out to be that guy"
Wallace
5:16: you really need to pay attention to what metaphor's going where when i'm trying to tell you that i have better things to do
5:17: like dust my bureau
Lucas
5:17: ....dude that was an awesome metaphor
5:17: man i was about to make a crack about you using a martini glass for change
5:17: way to ruin it
Wallace
5:17: The kind where i'm a dirty unattractive hobo? guy, look at me
5:17: how believable is that
Lucas
5:18: i didnt say unattractive, i just said stinky, haha
Wallace
5:18: stinky people are immediately unattractive by default
5:18: that's just how it works
Lucas
5:18: well if you were just some hot dude sitting at the train station begging for change
5:18: you would get like....zero change
5:18: no ones gonna feel bad for you man
5:18: you really need to rethink your business strategy on this one
Wallace
5:19: that's because they don't NEED to feel bad for me. i'm awesome. poor, but awesome.
5:19: also that's why i have an actual job.
Lucas
5:19: and STARVING
Wallace
5:19: one that's not worshipping lucas lee.
Lucas
5:19: no wait in this metaphor you were fired
Wallace
5:19: then i'll work a street corner
5:19: fuck it
Lucas
5:19: ...thats illegal
5:19: in the Lucas Lee Train Station
5:20: and TOWN
5:20: Lee Town
Wallace
5:20: You own the whole TOWN now -- why would i have moved here?
5:20: was i drugged?
5:20: did you drug me?
Lucas
5:20: no because you want to be there
5:20: you try to get out
5:20: but it keeps sucking you back in
Wallace
5:20: it's Lee Town. it's not the house of the rising sun.
Lucas
5:20: and all the other towns blow
Wallace
5:20: this one blows pretty hard too - poor hookers can't even get jobs
Lucas
5:21: no one needs hookers cuz everyone's getting laid!
5:21: thats the first amendment
5:21: of Lee Town
Wallace
5:21: So, you're giving me a job in a town where everyone has to get laid
5:21: where my job position
5:21: is essentially getting on my knees for you
Lucas
5:22: .....
5:22: to worship
Wallace
5:22: cuz, i mean, i'm in that department
5:22: people worship on their knees
5:22: same thing
Lucas
5:22: right but
5:22: just to worship
5:22: is the job position
5:22: wait
Wallace
5:22: how else am i gonna show my affection? this job sucks.
Lucas
5:22: THERE ARE OTHER WAYS DUDE
5:22: haha not as much as you want to
5:23: that was a blow job joke
Wallace
5:23: i did notice that
5:23: good job
Lucas
5:23: thanks
5:23: man see you're already showing that you belong in this position
5:23: you're a natural
Wallace
5:23: at blowies or worshipping?
Lucas
5:23: dude
5:23: how would i know the first one
Wallace
5:24: well, i mean, there's always a private demonstration
5:24: ...../sssssssip
Lucas
5:25: ....
5:25: dude
5:25: how am i supposed to allow that if you're hoggin all the booze
5:25: THAT WAS A JOKE
Wallace
5:25: you barely even gave the punchline time to sit before you dumped it out
5:26: i mean, be further in the closet
5:26: how's narnia looking?
Lucas
5:26: oh my god fuck you and fuck narnia
Wallace
5:26: give mr tumnus my regards
Lucas
5:26: i told you the punchline because you wouldnt have gotten it otherwise!
5:26: i will curbstomp tumnus
5:26: i swear to god
5:27: and it will be your fault
Wallace
5:27: NOOOOOO MR TUMNUS!
Lucas
5:27: NOT THAT IM IN NARNIA
5:27: i was just saying if i WAS
Wallace
5:27: YOU'RE A MONSTER!
Lucas
5:27: thats right
5:27: kickin goat ass
5:27: haha
5:27: me and aslan having a beer
5:27: like on the first day
5:27: cuz i'd win in like two hours
5:28: and he'd be like "dude those kids sucked we should have just called you from the start"
Wallace
5:28: curbstomping james mcavoy and getting qui gon kitty smashed
5:28: great
Lucas
5:28: you were the one who made me go there, dude
5:28: so really its your fault
Wallace
5:28: no, you're not allowed in narnia
5:28: come out of the closet, lucas
Lucas
5:28: thats what i'll right on tumnus' gravestone
Wallace
5:28: come on out
Lucas
5:28: "here lies tumnus"
5:29: "Bit the curb like a champ"
5:29: "thank you wallace wells"
Wallace
5:29: there are no words to describe how much you have just murdered my childhood
Lucas
5:29: haha, im totally out of the closet now, i win
5:29: wait
5:29: god dammit
Wallace
5:30: /TROLLFACE.JPEG
Lucas
5:30: I HATE YOU AND IM GLAD YOURE THE STINKY TOWN HOBO