DISCLAIMER: The characters are Annie Proulx's, not mine. No commercial gain, etc., is intended or aspired to, just admiration and perhaps a personal desire to understand
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it took me a bit longer to get into this part because i wasn't sure in which moment of the scenes of packing/ leaving the mountain it started. but then, it has drawn me into jack's mind so much that i'm looking AGAIN for a hankerchief. thanks for writing this, jack !
Hey Martina---that's one of the things I was wondering about, whether or not it blended seemlessly. The first was raw so to speak. this one I edited. Those lines stitching parts together? Looks as if that's something I need to work on, I'm looking foi an organic whole so to speak. These divisions I made--part 1-2-3--aren't the way Iwrote it. thanks for the feedback!!!!!!
This makes me really wish i had NOT thrown out so much of what I wrote 'because it wasn't any good". Hell, this little story was written just as described, sitting on the hood of my car. I had what in retrospect were really good ones,,,that I threw out. Oh well, no use weeping over torched stories; just have to write more lol.
When I read the first part in Jack's Point of View, I thought it ended at a nice place -- Jack asking himself a question about what to do next. But now I can see the point of view goes on to be a stream of consciousness of the whole "Bring em down" episode --
This whole thing (parts I & II) was really lovely. You ought to post the links publicly! You really capture a lot of the tiny movements of Jack's pride and ego. Thanks for pointing it out to me.
Jack, this is a beautiful, sad illumination of a few moments in our boys lives. Maybe the most important, because of the decisions made at that time. You are doing an excellent job getting inside Jack's head...the hope, the desperation, the pain. I eagerly await the conclusion.
I, too, wish you had posted this long ago. You have talent as a writer, Jack. Let me know what else you write, and I'll read it.
I really enjoyed this a great deal, especially the part where you incorporate the 'dozy embrace.' I still read mostly canon pieces. I hope you grace us with more of your writing soon.
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Thanks for sharing.(Love short pieces especially if they are set in the movie itself!)
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Jack
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This makes me really wish i had NOT thrown out so much of what I wrote 'because it wasn't any good". Hell, this little story was written just as described, sitting on the hood of my car. I had what in retrospect were really good ones,,,that I threw out. Oh well, no use weeping over torched stories; just have to write more lol.
I wish I'd posted things months ago
Jack
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very nicely done. -- tellyouwhat
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And thanks, i appreciate it.
I have a non BBM story--worked on it foir months--that one I'm going to see if i can publish it.
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I, too, wish you had posted this long ago. You have talent as a writer, Jack. Let me know what else you write, and I'll read it.
Hugs,
Jackie
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