Fate Meets Destiny: Chapter Sixteen
Title: Fate Meets Destiny
Author: bbmgirlfan
Pairing: Ennis/Jack (AU/AU)
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: just playing with the boys, they don't belong to me
Chapter Sixteen
About 30 minutes into the movie, Jack realized that Ennis was still a million miles away. He could hardly feel his energy and he was sitting right next to him.
Earlier, they'd had a great spaghetti dinner and a couple of glasses of wine. Jack had cooked it himself.
He had come home to find Ennis listening to music and basically, staring off into space.
He could tell that something was bothering Ennis but he hadn't said what. So Jack had made dinner and they'd eaten in quiet but comfortable style with the screen door open, listening to the sound of the surf.
Afterward, Jack had thought about asking if Ennis wanted to take a walk. Maybe that would help him relax enough to open up about whatever was bothering him.
But Ennis had gone into the living room carrying the rest of his wine and picked up the remote, so Jack had followed. That had been 30 minutes ago and Jack doubted Ennis could tell him anything that had happened so far in the movie they were watching.
I wonder what's wrong...
Jack was a little distracted, too. Ennis had showered with that blend he'd made for him and it made Jack want to burrow into him and feel Ennis's arms around him. Sitting next to him, inches away from the comfort and closeness he wanted, was very tempting! He'd also been imagining laying his cheek on Ennis's bare shoulder.
He could probably get away with that, at least for a few minutes, but he wanted to know what was going on with Ennis. So he leaned across him to grab the remote, which was on the couch next to Ennis's thigh.
"You making a move?" Ennis teased, quirking a smile as Jack clicked off the TV.
"Not this time." Jack smiled back at him, and then, turned a little more to face him. "What's the matter?"
Ennis sighed. "Mrs. Bendelmen came over this afternoon..."
"Oh, cool!"
Ennis rolled his eyes. "She told me she thinks you and I are meant to be together!"
Jack gasped. "She said that?"
"Yep. She thinks of us as childhood sweethearts!" Ennis told him and explained what Mrs. Bendelmen had said. Jack thought about it for a minute or two.
"Are we?" he asked. "Could we be?"
"That's what I've been asking myself all afternoon," Ennis admitted. "She kept talking about how we looked at each other ... she made it sound like we're ... " Ennis looked away.
"In love?" Jack asked softly. Ennis nodded. "Wow!"
More silence as Jack took that in and briefly rewrote their history the way Ennis had done earlier. Maybe Mrs. Bendelmen had a point.
"I know you were the best part of every wonderful childhood memory I had." Jack told him. " I wouldn't have wanted to have any of them without you!"
"Me, too!" Ennis agreed, looking at Jack. As their eyes met, Jack realized he was feeling that warmth & closeness he'd craved a little while ago.
"But does that mean...?" Ennis began. "I don't know if that makes us sweethearts."
"To tell you the truth, " Ennis continued, "I don't think I'm the type to fall in love. I mean, I have had a lot of fun with girls. And I made sure they had fun, too! But I didn't fall in love with any of them."
"I want to get married someday, " Ennis told Jack. "But sometimes I wonder how I'm going to do that when I can't seem to fall in love!"
"You know, I've always had this picture in my mind, too, of getting married," Jack began. "But when I think about it now, I realize that the girl is just sort of fuzzy. Not clear. You're there. At the wedding. At barbecues. Pool parties. And I guess she was always there, too, but sort of in the background." he continued.
"Like who she was didn't matter. You were the one who mattered!" Jack concluded.
Ennis startled visibly, wide-eyed. "Was it like that for you, too?" Jack asked. Ennis nodded, obviously surprised to realize it.
"And I have a thought about why you haven't fallen in love." Jack ventured.
"Let's go with her theory that we're childhood sweethearts and go with the idea that I'm the one who matters" Jack began.
"Nice to know you think so well of yourself!" Ennis teased.
"Shut up!"
"So if I'm the one who matters, and I'm like your centering element, the one you come back to, your heart would already be here with me. So you'd play a bit with girls but not do anything to endanger your most important relationship" Jack explained.
"With you."
"Right. So it would seem like you 'couldn't fall in love' but that would be because you'd already fallen in love little by little, the way childhood sweethearts do."
Ennis sat in silence for a few minutes, considering what Jack had said. And then, it must have suddenly made sense to him or felt right because tears filled his eyes and he looked at Jack with something akin to wonder.
"Oh my god!" he said.
Jack's eyes filled, too, and they just sat together in that moment of realization, looking tearfully into each other's eyes. In fact, several moments passed in silence, both of them tearful.
"I'm feeling totally overwhelmed!" Ennis finally said.
"I know. Wanna take a walk?"
So they went for a walk. Again, total silence. But comfortable silence. Just being with each other and with their own thoughts. When they got back to the house, they both landed on the front porch swing.
Ennis sighed heavily and ran his hand over his face.
"When I woke up this morning, I was mostly straight!" he said, rolling his eyes. "I feel like the ground beneath my feet is shifting!"
Jack nodded, understanding how off-balance Ennis was feeling.
"So what are we, gay now?" Ennis continued. "We gonna get married?" he threw out, slightly mocking.
Jack grinned. "Was that a proposal?" He laughed at the face Ennis made. "Let's just take it easy, okay?"
"I mean... I'm gay. I'm pretty clear on that now. But you don't have to land anywhere yet. Let's just give it some space and see what happens." Jack suggested. "I know you need time to catch your breath."
"And...?" Ennis gestured between the two of them to indicate what they'd talked about that had to do with their relationship.
"Nothing that's true is going to change just because we give it time," Jack said. "It can wait."
"Yeah. Okay." Ennis agreed. "Well, all of this has kind of knocked me on my ass!! So I think I'm going to just go to bed." Jack said he understood and wished him a good night.
"You know," Ennis paused in the doorway. "I think when the dust settles ..." he began, "well, ... I like thinking that this friendship is special, that it means something important. And that I might get to keep you for the rest of my life!"
Jack smiled, feeling something in his heart expand in response to Ennis's words.
"But ... I'm still knocked on my ass, so I'm going to bed!"
"Okay." Jack chuckled. "Good night!"
"Night"
TBC