my august paper- any imput would be greatly appreciated (due tuesday so comment asap)
August days are lethargic. As people walk down the street, shoulders sagging, it seems as though the weight of the sun is truly resting on them. Adults with a layer of moisture coating their skin do little more than slowly stagger along sidewalks because any movement under the scorching rays is a triumph. Children on the other hand, have perfected
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One suggestion, though.
August winds carry the taste of change. Fireflies retreat to their hidden homes, suitcases refill and empty, sea sides find themselves barren, children put away their bathing suites, adults recover from the heat; the world recovers from the heat.
First off, the sentence that starts with "fireflies" is a bit of a run on. Maybe if you split it up a bit and instead of a semicolon use a period. I think you should end with a single complete thought.
And the reason why I quoted the "August..." sentence is because it confused me a bit. August does not bring actual change, only the taste of change. Are the following sentences examples of how it merely tastes like change? 'Cause it seems like actual change to me...
Just food for thought, I suppose.
Offered advice. Use it of your own accord.
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