distilled unwavering: 5/39 (i/ii)
Title: Let’s spend the night together (Or: with friends like these)
Summary: A lot can happen in the time they have left here in high school. (a/b/o au; krisho)
word count: 11,042 words
a/n: This story is too long and I'll be finishing it by October if I'm really REALLY lucky and on top of things, which is so unlikely it hurts. I am trying to update more frequently nowadays, but these chapters are seriously waaaaay longer than I thought they'd be and editing consistently keeps taking more than 3-4 days once I actually have a chapter pieced together. So overall everything's taking forever. But! Because I am kind of uh chronically ill, I really am trying to update faster/better while I'm able to. I want to make it through at least this story, you know? My perfectionism is slowly squeezing my motivation out of me, but let's see if I can keep this up regardless. I'm sorry for the ever shaky quality of this fic!
Anyway, my whining to no one aside, it wasn't until after this chapter's numerous rough drafts that I finally sat down and made a comprehensive 'exo characterization' essay for myself, so hang in there because I think I actually start having somewhat consistent characterization of them all after this chapter. Also if any of my html stuff or links or formats are weird or dead or misdirect or are just plain wrong, please tell me because I seriously won't notice for 500 years otherwise.
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faq post
+++
Junmyeon, for all his usual calm collectedness and his ability to let things roll off his back, can be a type of high-strung that's in a class of its own when he’s not trying to put a best face forward. He's always been like that, even way before they started dating. Yifan knew that, but nowadays it just seems like he's seen Junmyeon not-so-put-together way more than usual - which makes sense considering they've finally managed to all slough through midterms. Yifan sometimes takes how often he's seen the sort of quietly but frantically freaked out side of Junmyeon so far as a good sign that Junmyeon's comfortable enough when it’s just the two of them to show that side of himself. Not that he necessarily enjoys watching Junmyeon freak out. He spends a lot of time trying to do his duties and be good emotional support, of course.
But there are also times when Junmyeon's seriously stressed, and he lets it show to everybody how jittery and busy-body he's getting. These times suck, because what can Yifan even do for him? All Yifan really just wants is for Junmyeon to go lay down somewhere and take a nap until he feels better, but there's no way that's going to be an option that Junmyeon would ever feel comfortable in taking.
Yifan usually ends up stress-napping for the both of them, honestly. And anyway, of course Yifan, who among his friends is slightly renowned for taking and internalizing and overthinking and over-feeling everything (despite his talent at holding a stoic face and looking on the outside like he’s unbothered by the world), can’t really say that. Pot, kettle, and all that. Plus he gets that just saying something to Junmyeon isn't going to change the root of the problem: that Junmyeon's got a huge workload, and after all the study groups and extra homework and student council already starting on prom planning, debate is sort of pushing him over the edge. But that doesn't mean Yifan can't worry.
“We just finished midterms, so maybe lay off yourself a little? Even just for a day?” Yifan tries proposing carefully when Junmyeon spends an entire two hours curled up a chair at his kitchen table and Yifan wakes up from a nap to discover that he hasn't moved at all. After the whole being caught in the act of openly lying to his mother about spending the night at Junmyeon's (though, as far as she knew, they'd been appropriately responsible when Yifan's sudden heat had hit him, which had earned him some mercy. Yifan both counts his blessings and has to keep steadfastly ignoring the tiny seed of guilt he's carrying around from that sort of lie), Yifan has kind of been on house arrest. So Junmyeon coming over and staying strictly on the first floor in communal areas is about the best they can do for dates and seeing each other outside of school for now.
But even then, Junmyeon half killing himself by furiously researching and memorizing who even knows what is hardly romantic, even on the worst terms. “I know the debate thing is really important to you, but - ”
Junmyeon waves a dismissive hand and doesn’t even look up from his notes. “I’m fine. Hey - thoughts on the transparency of civil servants’ alignments, particularly on the federal level?”
“I’m not helping you write points for your argument,” Yifan tells him sternly. He's been down that road before once, and he'll never make the same mistake ever again if he can help it. Junmyeon doesn't mean anything by it, but he gets pretty nitpicky pretty fast with someone who clearly doesn't do debate. “I’m not falling for that trap. And I mean the one where you get annoyed with my untrained, un-debate-y ways.”
That draws a laugh from Junmyeon - which, like, score. Point to Yifan. He can be a good boyfriend, even if it's only in kind of useless ways.
Junmyeon smiles down at his notes, though his eyes are still scanning the page frantically. “This time it's easy, I swear. I just wanted to build an opening off of public opinion quotes. You can be as candid as you want, promise.”
Yifan makes a face, though Junmyeon isn’t looking at him and misses it. “Still, no thanks. I don’t feel like having to sit in the crowd and hear you dismantle my lowly, uniformed view on the weird importance placed on federal workers’ supposedly inherent ability to be aggressive.”
At that Junmyeon does look up, eyebrow quirked up in his sort-of-kind-of-annoyed-but-not-really look. “That’s not what the argument is about - ”
Yifan, now that he’s got Junmyeon’s gaze, makes the same face as before and points at Junmyeon accusingly. “See what I mean? Not falling for it.”
Junmyeon laughs - a too loud burst of his snorting, ugly laughter - and Yifan smiles. Success.
+++
But yeah, Junmyeon's hitting what Yifan would tentatively call a crisis horizon, one where he’s projecting his anxiety at everyone else instead of keeping it safely to himself like usual. To be honest, Yifan feels bad for him when he gets like this mainly because he knows Junmyeon's doing everything in his power not to - he just can’t entirely help it because he’s spiraling out of control. Yeah, as the boyfriend it’s a little hard to deal with, but then again it’s proving to just be hard on everybody.
“For the love of god, can someone please tell Junmyeon to calm down,” Minseok says as he slides into the seat next to Yifan and looks pointedly at him, like that’s not supposed to be telling.
(Okay yeah, as the boyfriend, and all the extra baggage that entails, it's getting a little hard to deal with.)
“Don’t you have lunch right now?” Jongdae asks, lifting an eyebrow at Minseok, who takes a huge bite out of the packaged bread in his hand.
Minseok finishes chewing and swallows, before scoffing. “Well yeah. With Junmyeon.” He looks at Yifan again, nibbling thoughtfully on his bread like he's graciously giving Yifan time to talk.
Yifan shrugs, not entirely sure what he's supposed to be saying here. “I can’t make him chill out about this debate thing any better than you. Just…let him burn himself out over it. The match is in a week, he’ll crash right after it’s over. You know how he is.”
Minseok shakes his head, sighing around his mouthful, and reaches across the table to pet a sleeping Jongin's hair with his free hand. Jongin snores a little into his book, but stays fast asleep. “…Wait is this where Jongin comes to skip lunch all the time?” Minseok asks, seeming put out. “Because he is never at lunch, but I always thought he was, I don't know, bothering Taemin or something."
“Yeah no, he's usually here,” Yifan says. Jongin is the kind of person who works too hard almost all the time, and he not only has dance class at school but also after school four days a week at some dance academy. This means he uses any free time at school to make sure his afternoons are freed up for late nights at the studio. Yifan and Jongdae try to occasionally get on him about not eating, but Jongin snacks in class all the time so he assures them that it's fine. “He doesn't have a study period, so…”
Minseok scrunches up his nose, but Yifan can tell his offense is completely manufactured for joking's sake. “So he constantly abandons me? We’ll be having words." Jongin snores louder, and Minseok laughs, petting his hair fondly again. "I mean, after this debate thing, though. Because I’m skipping lunch until Junmyeon stops asking me to do counterpoints against him, and then waxing poetic closing statements for ten minutes to test if they’re too 'ethos-laden' or whatever.”
“I know what you mean,” Jongdae moans out. “I thought once midterms were over we’d finally get to have some peace and quiet, but alas…”
When he also looks pointedly at Yifan, Yifan throws his hands out defensively. “I seriously don’t know what it is you both want me to do, though?” Yifan's actually kind of also busy himself. They're holding tryouts soon, and with the actual basketball season getting ready to start the coach and assistants have been modifying the practice schedule to be increasingly intense. Also there's the whole 'Junmyeon isn't going to just chill out because Yifan said to' thing, but apparently no one else cares about that.
“You’re the boyfriend, figure it out. Like…I don’t know, drag him off somewhere and makeout with him until he forgets about his stress?” Jongdae offers hopefully.
Minseok, who is now people watching the other students milling about the library while eating his bread, lets out a noise of disbelief before Yifan gets a chance to.
“Yeah...” Yifan says in agreement with Minseok. “That would be my answer too, to that suggestion.”
Jongdae groans, “Come on, but I’m in history with him! If I have to help him go through our book to highlight passages about elections with politicians revealing their alignments to garner votes one more time…”
“Didn’t I come in here specially to lodge a complaint? I share lunch with him,” Minseok reminds Jongdae.
Yifan scowls and looks back down at his notes. “Look, I can’t do anything about it, okay? He’s too tightly-wound for me to calm him down - I’m already doing my best, alright?”
Jongdae continues to whine piteously. “But finals are like…right around the corner. He’s going to be unbearable once we’re back from fall break, so it’s super important that we enjoy ourselves while we can.”
“Does he know you talk about him like this behind his back?” Yifan wonders idly, giving up on actually retaining any information and going to draw in the margins of his notebook. There's homework due this afternoon that he probably should be working on, instead of trying and failing to ignore his friends attempting to throw him on handling Junmyeon. Yifan officially does not believe in the art of handling people.
Jongdae's smile is evident in his voice - Yifan doesn't even have to look up to see it. “Yeah. I talk about him like this in his face too. He knows I’m a rogue-ish lovable kind of asshole; it’s part of my charm.”
That’s mostly a lie, because for all of Jongdae's bravado and joking, he’s actually very tender and careful with all of them and how he quietly takes care of them - Jongdae's more than likely only whining about Junmyeon in the first place because he’s worried. Like he said, there's fall break and then finals, so if Junmyeon doesn't disengage now he's going to be attempting to run full throttle on empty straight through the end of October up until December. But Yifan really does need to get that homework done before his last block, so he leaves Jongdae alone to his dreams of grandeur asshole-ishness or whatever while reaching for his literature notebook. The argument that’ll ensue otherwise isn't really worth it, not when they all always know he’s bluffing about it, and he knows that they know.
“I also talk about him in his face to him, because whatever.” Minseok says. And that’s true. Minseok is either completely quiet or letting each and every one of them know exactly how he feels about something. “But even though it’s annoying, I do actually get it. His incessant need to be a perfectionist. Just…” Minseok waves his hand around in some kind of generic but soft gesture. “Quieter, please. Ask him to do it more quietly and less in our faces?”
While Yifan appreciates the more considerate sentiments of Jongdae and Minseok's requests (Baekhyun, for example, was predictably blunt and a little biting about it; Chanyeol too), he doesn’t really get when precisely he became Junmyeon's keeper, according to the rest of the world. He wonders if the others demand for Junmyeon to do stuff about him behind his back too.
“I’ll ask.”
+++
"I'm avoiding engaging him on that particular subject," Yifan admits to a distracted Kyungsoo who's just blandly asked him if Junmyeon's doing alright or 'is planning to micromanage and over-prepare himself to death at this rate'. "I'm trying to give him his space."
Kyungsoo and Yixing are both bent over some music theory homework and busy making notations on the shared piece of paper between them, but Kyungsoo looks up for the first time in a while at Yifan's response. "Oh," Kyungsoo says. "I was just wondering what was up with Junmyeon being all...high energy, I guess. I wasn't like, trying to sic you on him or anything."
Yifan laughs. "That's a first."
Yixing looks up too, apologetic. "Are the others on your case?"
Kyungsoo taps his pencil on his homework, a half smile on his lips. "Gee, I wonder how that feels, to have at least five other people asking you to look after someone else like it's your job."
Yifan frowns. "Is this...about Baekhyun? Or - maybe Chanyeol?" Jongin, when he's in one of his particularly brattier moods? ...Me? Yifan adds reluctantly to the list.
Kyungsoo waves his hand. "See? How I'm supposed to be babysitting all of you?"
Yixing reaches over and flicks Kyungsoo on the nose. "Hey, calm down. It's not like you're incapable of brushing us all off when you decide you want to."
Kyungsoo wiggles his nose, looking kind of annoyed, but ultimately quiets without a fuss. Yixing hunches over their homework to quickly scribble something down, then looks up at Yifan again. "How are you doing, then? With the stress?"
That question, of all things, has Yifan a little confused and taken aback. "Huh? What does it have to do with me? I mean it's annoying that everyone expects me to magically get Junmyeon to stop worrying and scurrying around when we all know that's just his way at this stage of stress, but - "
"I mean," Yixing says slowly, putting his pencil down and smiling at Yifan like he's said something incredibly and hilariously uninformed. Yixing's one of the best at making Yifan feel silly, usually with absolutely minimum effort on his part. "Like Kyungsoo said, it's kind of burdensome to have people asking after you to control someone else."
Yifan doesn't really think it's burdensome, just annoying. And it's kind of annoying how it seems like most everyone else who's whining about the inconvenience of Junmyeon being overbearing isn't thinking extremely hard about empathizing and putting themselves in Junmyeon's shoes when they complain. And if they are it's coming seemingly second to their own personal inconvenience. Maybe that's just because no one else is dating Junmyeon. Maybe Yifan's being weirdly oversensitive per usual.
"I'm fine," Yifan says, fiddling around with his mp3 player. He already finished texting his mom photo evidence that he's at the public library with Kyungsoo and Yixing, so really all that's left is to actually get some work done. Yifan can't wait until he's not grounded, so little things like slacking off at the library don't make him feel like the worst kid ever. "Anyway, how is the music theory homework going?"
Kyungsoo scrunches up his face. "Kind of horrible and very tedious. We're doing mixed meters and complex time signatures and I honestly don't have the energy for this - it's a pain."
Yixing sighs and slouches. "I know. But on the bright side we're almost done! At least she made it pairwork - imagine having to this on your own."
"That's good," Yifan says, trying for encouraging. He hasn't even started on anything yet. Considering that they've been here for almost an hour now, his procrastination is getting out of hand.
"Yeah," Kyungsoo says, with something a little less severe than venom but only barely. "Especially since Jongdae has been boasting about how fast he and Baekhyun finished it during their class block."
"Kyungsoo wouldn't let me ask for any of their answers," Yixing whispers to Yifan, nodding at how Kyungsoo doubles over their homework again with renewed vigor at his own mention of Jongdae and Baekhyun, eyebrows furrowed in stern determination.
Yifan shakes his head, smiling at Kyungsoo's stubbornness. "Yeah, I'm not surprised."
Yixing shakes his head right back at Yifan, eyes twinkling with something. Maybe that's mirth? Yifan can't really figure it out. "Obnoxious competitive streaks are actually a surprisingly common personality trait among our friends, don't you think?"
Yifan finally settles on a song to click on and eyes his literature homework, which sits innocuously untouched on the edge of the library table. He isn't sure if Yixing is trying to impart another life lesson on him or something right now - it gets hard to tell when Yixing is always talking like a mellowed out spiritual guide. "Maybe," he decides to say noncommittally, and reaches for the book at the top of the stack.
+++
Yifan does try his best to delicately deal with the mater at hand. He does want Junmyeon to not half drive himself into an early grave every time a deadline crops up.
"I'd love to chat," Junmyeon tells him when Yifan goes out of his way to call him after school after what essentially could count as complete and total radio silence since this morning has transpired between them. Yifan doesn't think anyone's seen Junmyeon outside of class in far too long, which means he's probably been holed up somewhere perfecting his argument notes - though Tao mentioned fundraising brainstorming season is in for student council, so he could be doing that too. All Yifan knows is that as the debate match draws nearer, Junmyeon's ramping himself up in a way that Yifan has only seen very rarely. Junmyeon's in too many student body activity things this year, and apparently the crunch times are all overlapping.
"Seriously, I would love to," Junmyeon says, and for his credit he sound deceivingly put together. He's probably got three different day planners open and a highlighter in each hand. Yifan is probably on speaker right now, currently a distant unimportant blip in Junmyeon's hectic life. "And I'm so happy that you called to check up on me, but I have to go - I finished one thing and now I have to meet with my debate partner before tutoring - I'm just busy, okay?"
"Okay," Yifan mumbles as he slouches into the AV room. Amber's waiting for him, looking up expectantly from some packet she's skimming over as he walks in. "You don't have to worry about brushing me off - I mean, I just think you should take a breather ever now and then, you know?"
Junmyeon laughs. "Right, okay, thank you Yifan. I gotta go!"
Yifan doesn't even get another word in before Junmyeon hangs up. Amber's looking up at him now with her head tilted to the side, her expression quizzical as she tucks a pen behind her ear to free up her hands and rummage through her bag on the table.
"Trouble in paradise?" She asks lightly, pulling a bag of chips out of the depths of her backpack.
Yifan slumps into a chair across from her. God, Yifan wishes. Not that he wants to fight with Junmyeon, which surprisingly beyond the general tiptoeing issue they had earlier on hasn't really happened. It's just, maybe a huge blowout fight would be easy to fix than this unspoken undercurrent of weirdness they tend to fall into instead.
"No, just a big debate match on the horizon - plus, you know, everything else - that's making him..." Yifan wriggles his fingers in the air, trying to emulate a tiny explosion with his hands. "...a lot to handle. And everyone's decided I'm the one who's responsible for calming him down so..." Yifan sighs heavily and shrugs off his own bag onto the floor. "Whatever, I'm trying my best."
Amber frowns, bag crinkling in her hands. "You don't sound too happy with that. What's got you down?"
Yifan snorts, kicking his heel against the leg of his chair. "What do you think? Everyone's expecting me to make Junmyeon stop being a perfectionist because it's, I don't know, annoying them, and I can't figure out how to ask him to do that while actually being concerned for his mental health." Yifan feels bad when he puts it like that because, seriously, he knows they do care too - Jongdae and Minseok alone are enough proof of that. It's just...agitating. That everyone else can't just accept the inevitable about this situation, offer their quiet support, and wait it out. That's what Yifan's resigned to doing. That's all Junmyeon will let him do.
"Dude," Amber says when he looks up at her with what is probably a pathetic expression. "Just tell them to get off your back."
"That's - not..." Yifan frowns. "Amber it doesn't work like that?"
She pauses in trying to open her bag of chips with her teeth to look at him, comically wide-eyed. "Whoa...I didn't realize...friendship doesn't include telling people when they're bothering you...!" She laughs to herself and finishes ripping open the bag. A few chips fly over to Yifan's side of the table.
Yifan sends her a pained look, as she pops a chip into her mouth. "What I mean, Amber, is that's not what's happening here."
Amber licks her lips and eats another chip. "Isn't it? Or am I misunderstanding the part where you're anxiously trying to hint to your boyfriend that apparently everyone in the world thinks he's annoying, even though you disagree, and only because of peer pressure?" She points at the chips on the table. "And you can have those, I guess. I know how to share."
Yifan gestures, now meaninglessly because he isn't sure what hiss exact point here is anymore. "I - I mean, it's for his own good, to calm down. I'm worried too!"
Amber throws a chip at him. "Oooookay, if you say so." She goes back to the packet before her, puling her from behind her ear and jotting down last minute notes, on what Yifan is now realizing is a typed up script, and pulls out her phone as she slides it over to him. "Cheer up emo kid - and let me know if these questions are good for your whole team." She starts clicking away on her phone. "And if there's anything you want to add, questions or topics or game stats or something, just let me know."
"Right," Yifan says quietly, already skimming the questions. "Sorry for unloading on you like that. Thanks for wanting to interview us."
Amber throws another chip. "I'm serious, stop, where's your pep? You're supposed to be my fun interview prep sesh!" Yifan just rolls his eyes, and turns to the next page.
Yifan doesn't think anything of Amber having her phone out - she's the definition of a social butterfly, plus with her radio show she's always handling the logistics for something - until he's getting a text from Minseok saying '? sorry, for stressing you out too. I can talk to Junmyeon if you want? just thought he'd be more likely to listen to you.'
Yifan frowns and slowly looks up at Amber, who is now making her 'purposely guiltily too innocent' face she makes when she wants to be caught.
It still takes Yifan getting a second text from Minseok ('so please make amber stop yelling at me') before he gets alarmed. "I didn't tell you to yell at anyone! I'm fine!"
She waves her hand. "I didn't yell at him. And I'm helping you out."
"I don't need help," Yifan tells her sternly. Amber raises a skeptical eyebrow and pops another chip in her mouth, like she's daring him to prove her wrong. Yifan finds himself rising to the proverbial challenge. "Because, tomorrow I'm just going to tell Junmyeon straight that I think he's working himself too hard and that it's affecting everyone around him. And when nothing changes, everyone will finally leave me alone about this. Happy?"
Amber slowly chews for a long time, staring at him thoughtfully, before saying anything.
"...Huh," she finally says, pretty apologetically. "Right, I'm actually sorry for interfering, I didn't realize it was going to put you more on edge like this. Really, sorry."
He's not on edge, it's just this feels like it's being blown out of proportion - especially since all anyone can do is wait it out. Why is it Yifan's job to calm Junmyeon down? And why is Yifan kind of so bad at it? And then why is it his job to get everyone around him to cease and desist?
"Can we," he says in what he wouldn't call a huff (but according to the eyebrow quirk it earns from Amber, she would). "Just get back to this radio interview prep for the team?"
Amber licks her fingers and then wipes them on her pants, nodding emphatically. "Yeah totally. If the script's cool and good to go, I can go print off more copies for you and all the rest of your jock teammates."
Yifan shoots her a look. "You almost play as much basketball in your free time as me, Amber Jock Liu."
Amber brightens up, grinning wildly. "Hey, I almost like the J standing for that better!" Yifan just shakes his head at her.
When Amber eventually has to go run out to pick up the copies from the printer down in the main office, Yifan texts Minseok an apologetic, 'you don't have to talk to anyone for me, it's fine'. After a moment, Yifan figures he should clarify further: 'amber misunderstood me, i'm the one who's sorry'.
'if you're sure you can handle it :P,' Minseok jokes in response.
Still, all of Yifan's friends are going to be the death of him, he thinks idly when Amber bursts back in the room with a stack of copies in one hand and her cellphone on speaker in the other. "Viccy-vic wants to know why you're inconsolable and making my life hard," Amber sing-songs, like she clearly wasn't the one who probably called up Qian first to complain.
"You're such a tattletale," Yifan informs her right before she shoves the phone in his face. On the other end of the line, Qian sounds mostly confused and kind of annoyed - and seriously, sometimes his friends are all horrible and ridiculous.
+++
Kyungsoo is, according to Jongdae, “actually sick for once," and according to Chanyeol, "barely able to walk straight, like I had to escort him to the nurse because he was barely surviving gym class and he wouldn't let me carry him but I wanted to - ”
(Yifan is reluctant to call this 'karmic backlash' like Baekhyun was so readily deeming it, but it does seem like he's not faking it this time to get out of doing things he doesn't want to do.)
So. Yes, Yifan can’t recruit his help in the ‘attempting to calm Junmyeon down’ brigade. It’s a shame because he’d honestly be the best one for this job, seeing how he kind of gets best why Yifan isn't exactly enthralled about how he's been tasked to Junmyeon. To be fair though, since he's been dragging his feet on the issue and quietly making his general displeasure be known about it, the others do sort of seem to be starting to get the point slowly. Yifan still is just really confused why apparently his dating Junmyeon all of a sudden makes other people think he’s magically better at bossing Junmyeon around. Junmyeon humors him more than other people and obviously tries to do things for Yifan to make him happy about just as much as Yifan goes out his way to do things to make Junmyeon happy, but beyond that nothing about their dynamic has changed. Yifan knows the right ways to persuade him to do the occasional thing here and there, but…
“This better not become some kind of long-running, contrived problem,” Lu Han says, looking kind of annoyed when Yifan brings it up. The two of them are both idly watching Sehun chat with...well, Yifan doesn't really know who they are beyond being someone who's kind of familiar looking. Yifan can’t entirely remember where he knows their face from, but it could just be that he's seen them around school. “I’m tired of that being a thing with you two.”
“It’s not, geez,” Yifan mumbles, half glaring at Lu Han. Lu Han looks, for lack of better word, imperiously back at him, and Yifan regrets starting this conversation off on the wrong foot. He searches vaguely for a topic changer, and finds one right in front of him - literally. “Ah, who is that that Sehun's talking to? I feel like I sort of know them?”
Lu Han waves a dismissive hand. “That's because you do sort of know her. That’s Daeun.”
Yifan squints, because it does sound a little familiar. She’s apparently said something hilarious, because now Sehun is laughing and clinging off her, while this Daeun is giggling and patting the top of his head. They seem close, so Yifan probably should know her.
Lu Han sighs at how Yifan is still drawing mostly a blank. “She’s friends with Sehun, clearly. And she’s in the same sign language class as Tao - which is what’s the hold up. Tao’s out on heat and Sehun's picking up his homework for him.” Lu Han bites down on a peal of laughter. “Those silly lovebirds.”
Yifan rolls his eyes at the barely held back laughter in Lu Han’s voice; he clearly finds the act hilariously endearing. “What, don’t you pick up Minseok's homework for him? What makes them so different from you?”
Lu Han does laugh at that, incredulously so. “No no, his parents pick up his homework - or Minseok gets it himself afterwards. I only bring food.” He pauses, humming carefully in thought for a moment. “And the gift of my company.”
“So…nothing,” Yifan retorts flatly. “You bring him barely anything and then you make him suffer through you. How kind.”
Lu Han punches him in the arm, but he’s grinning. “Alright alright, simmer down and tell me what the big plan is already. Because I know you can’t just be normal and go up to Junmyeon and say ‘so everyone’s getting freaked out by your freak out, so could you scale it back?’ And honestly, if it were me - ”
Yifan cuts him off. “I don’t care what you would do, that’s not how we’re handling this.”
Lu Han looks back at Yifan, apparently offended. Yifan can't imagine why, when it's general consensus that Lu Han is a handful on a good day, and a whirlwind on a bad one. Lu Han's usually flip advice, however well-intentioned, is just completely useless and inappropriate for Yifan's use.
“What, if I’m not allowed to help then why am I here?”
For moral support, but Yifan's not about to tell him that. “Sehun's helping, you’re just there to reel him in if he gets out of hand.”
The most interesting range of emotions passes over Lu Han's face, from disgruntled to confused to amused. He finally settles on skeptical. “What, because you can’t? Why Yifan,” annnnnd Yifan can already tell where this is going - “I didn't know you needed a big strong alpha to take care of you - ”
“Is that supposed to be you?” Sehun asks pointedly as he shuffles up next to them, still waving goodbye to Daeun over his shoulder. “Because that’s the real joke here.”
Lu Han reaches over and fondly ruffles Sehun's hair. “Brat.”
“Did you get Tao’s homework?” Yifan asks offhandedly as he reviews ‘the big plan’ (which currently only consists of: accost Junmyeon before student council with his trusty backup, and hope for the best) in his head.
Sehun nods and holds up a bunch of loose leaf papers, focusing a little too intently on a paperclip (that had probably been holding said papers together before) in his other hand. It's bent up into almost a circle, as Sehun's currently playing with it and not really giving the two of them his full attention -- but Sehun being distracted and even more flippant than Lu Han is not at all unusual. “But what are we doing? Because I didn't really get a memo beyond you texting me to meet you after school.”
They’re winging it, that’s what. The whole point here is that it doesn't matter, anyway. “Just follow me,” Yifan says aloud, and whips around to try and catch Junmyeon at his locker before it’s too late. Yifan texted him to wait up, so he hopefully hasn't left.
And sure enough Junmyeon's dependable as ever, even when over-stressed. He’s waiting at his locker - though he is flipping through his school planner and scribbling down god knows what.
“Junmyeon,” Yifan calls to catch his attention, and when Junmyeon looks up and immediately smiles something in Yifan's chest catches a little. It’s nice, to be looked like that. Like he’s important no matter what.
Junmyeon then sees the other two, and though he’s still delighted he also is a little confused. “Alright, to what do I owe this visit?”
Lu Han makes a face, stifling laughter while grabbing onto Sehun's arm, which prompts Sehun to snort and say, “You are so lame.”
In this moment Yifan suddenly realizes that he’s made a dire mistake. Why he thought Lu Han would dial Sehun back, especially after being explicitly asked to, he now doesn't know. Lu Han never acts cooperatively when asked. And Sehun and Lu Han together are nightmares; the only worse combination would be Lu Han and Yixing. How did he forget this? Oh no.
Junmyeon just smiles at them, though it’s a little frayed around the edges, like all his smiles have been as of late. So Yifan cuts in because he doesn't know where those two might take this if left to their own devices. “Be nice.” He says quietly. This wasn't ever supposed to be involved, or anything. It was supposed to be a quick get in, get out, and drive home the point that there's really nothing to be done beyond playing the waiting game. He had just needed witnesses, really.
Junmyeon only waves his hand at it, completely oblivious to how pear-shaped this encounter is already going. “I’m used to them.”
Yifan tries not to panic despite that he full well knows that getting Lu Han and Sehun to disengage is a practice in futility. He just has to figure out how to keep this a 'get in, get out' operation. "I still want you to be nice long enough for us to have a real conversation," he tells Sehun and Lu Han, tone maybe a little stiffer than he intends it.
Lu Han must notice something on Yifan's face in addition to his voice, because his expression shifts noticeably to something less entertained and a fraction more, well, thoughtful and maybe...slightly concerned.
Sehun does not make such observations. He shrugs loosely. “I don’t even know what I’m here for,” Sehun complains. “You can’t expect me to just put up with Junmyeon being absurd.”
Lu Han still laughs, though with much more reservation, like maybe he's just being gracious now. Junmyeon sighs heavily and only shakes his head, that thin smile still in place.
Something about it all makes...something flare up in Yifan for some reason. “He only said hi!”
...Okay, the thing here is that Yifan didn't entirely expect himself to shout. So now he's left staring at the others, kind of shocked at his gut reaction.
The three of them are looking back at him with varying degrees of surprise written all over their faces as well.
“Yifan,” Junmyeon says warily. “I said it’s fine?”
Yifan finds himself scowling, because it's not supposed to be about him. This isn't what this attempt at an intervention was supposed to be about at all. “I know it’s fine. I’m fine. We’re not here for that."
Lu Han is now looking at him like Junmyeon's looking at him: kind of increasingly worried. Meanwhile Sehun is looking vaguely indignant, which is basically his version of worried and uncertain combined into one.
"Have I missed something...vital because I've been busy?" Junmyeon asks gently, eyes wide and searching.
Well this is stupid, and not at all how this is supposed to play out - “No, stop looking at me like that, all of you." No one does. Yifan's panicking now. This isn't about him. "Seriously, this is about you, Junmyeon, and how you're freaking out over your competition and everyone’s been on me about controlling you, like this is how it works - ”
Junmyeon's expression is changing into one that's only a few shades removed from horrified, while Lu Han - well, still looks concerned.
“Hey,” Lu Han reaches over to touch the small of Yifan's back and what the hell this has gone so out of control in absolutely record time. “Please don't freak out. We’re joking, you know?”
Yeah Yifan knows that, and he’s not freaking out right now. No need for everyone to be looking at him like he's fragile, he’s just. Flustered. “I’m not - stop it, I know you’re joking, and this isn't about me.”
Sehun's squinting at him now. “Are you sure?”
Yifan shrugs off Lu Han's hand, only for Junmyeon to reach out and catch his elbow. Yifan thinks about shrugging that off too - I'm not the only omega here, plus Sehun's the youngest so why don't you two baby him or just *someone else* for a change he thinks a little viciously - but instead he only glares at Sehun and Lu Han. He's kind of utterly lost, and more than a little agitated, but even so Yifan isn't all that sure as to why he decides to say, “Why all of a sudden are you both able to shut up about how much Junmyeon is getting on your nerves? I’m not trying to throw you under the bus, but - ”
“One, that is the definition of throwing someone under the bus,” Lu Han says airily, as his eyes flicker to Junmyeon's hand on Yifan's elbow. Something about the set of his shoulders seems to relax. “And two, it’s not just Junmyeon who’s looking like he might go off at any moment these last few days.”
Sehun hums. “He is the only one looking like he’s going to drop dead asleep on his feet, though.”
Something snarls in Yifan's chest at Sehun's words, even though again, he is fully capable of understanding that Sehun's words are not actually mean spirited. At least this time, he doesn't have any kind of unexpected outburst.
Junmyeon laughs, but it’s cautious. His fingers are smoothing constant patterns along the ridge of Yifan's elbow. “Yifan - all of you - I’m fine.”
At this, all the attention re-centers on Junmyeon. He’s not really fine, he looks run down and haggard but with a smile plastered over it. He’s going to be a zombie soon. It’s wearing down everyone around him, and Yifan's worried that -
…Oh, Yifan realizes with startling clarity, what Amber and Yixing and even Lu Han just now have been getting at clicking into place for him. Right, okay, so maybe... Maybe this really is a little bit about Yifan too.
“You know what, you two go away,” Yifan says, looking at them sharply. He makes sure to exaggerate his frown so at least Lu Han picks up on the fact that Yifan's okay, seriously, and that he's not actually mad at them. “I don’t need you if you’re just going to be this way.”
Sehun scrunches up his face, crossing his arms. “I have not been told a single piece of information from the get-go - ”
Lu Han shrugs, totally complacent all of a sudden. “Fine by me. Come, child,” he says sagely while taking Sehun by the arm and escorting him off, only a little forcibly as Sehun bristles at him now.
“That’s my thing,” he’s whining as Lu Han pushes him down the hall and around the corner. “Besides you can’t call me a kid when I’m taller than you - ”
Once they're gone, Junmyeon levels Yifan with a look immediately. “Sehun and Lu Han? Really?”
Yeah, Yifan's already kicked himself over that. “Sorry. Kyungsoo was unavailable.”
Junmyeon laughs. “Obviously, or else he would had nipped your thing in the bud.”
Yifan feels a little bad at how Kyungsoo always has to be their keeper. No wonder he’s sick right now, they’re all always running each other into the ground. But something about what Junmyeon's just said makes him pause and consider it. “...My thing?”
Junmyeon shoots him this look, one with a quirked eyebrow and a little disbelief. “Yeah. The one where you grab a bunch of our friends and try to, I guess, defend my honor?"
Yifan groans at how badly misconstrued his original plan has become. "No, I was trying to prove to them that I can't make you listen to me about prioritizing your health and having better stress management skills."
Both of Junmyeon's eyebrows go up at that. "...Oh."
Yifan runs a hand through his hair. "Yeah. It took a turn somewhere."
"Probably when your internalized worrying about me blew up in all our faces?" Junmyeon offers in that kind-but-still-totally-smart-assed way of his.
Yifan purses his lips in displeasure, annoyed that this has become about him again. "I just think we all need to have a conversation about that there are better ways to offer emotional support beyond relentlessly teasing each other."
"Ah, but it is just our way," Junmyeon says with a laugh, letting go of Yifan's elbow. He turns to close his locker, then turns back to Yifan, shifting his weight onto one leg. "Plus, the whole thing with everyone getting genuinely irritated by my studying right after midterms… I get it. I mean, I’m not going to stop being a pain in the ass, because I've got a competition to win - but I get it.” Junmyeon is sounding every inch like your typical alpha stereotype, which is kind of hilarious except he’s serious. Junmyeon's good at ignoring things he decides aren't important to him for whatever end goal he has in mind. Which has from the start been what’s got Yifan worried about Junmyeon potentially overworking himself. “It doesn't bother me, so don’t think it needs to bother you.”
And Yifan…well okay, yes, that’s mostly true. Junmyeon has just touched on exactly what Yifan's worked out, that this as much about Yifan's issues as it is about Junmyeon's. But the biggest thing here is that, seriously, Junmyeon didn't take a moment to rest after midterms. And yes, he’s determined and driven and intense and competitive and busy, but Yifan also doesn't want him to burn himself out in the long-term.
“Can you just please,” Yifan murmurs softly, his tone making Junmyeon almost straighten in attention, eyes going wide at the plea in his voice. “Please promise me to be a little easier on yourself? Take some breaks, get some sleep, eat. And - and maybe, maybe Skype your brother tonight to unwind or something. Please?”
Junmyeon smiles again, that soft sweet one that makes his eyes crinkle at the edges. It makes Yifan's insides finally unsnarl themselves. “Okay, promise. Now release me to go be late for student council, you horrible, bad influence.”
(“I asked Junmyeon about it, and he essentially said for all of you to just suck it up and deal with it, and that everything'll be fine soon,” Yifan tells Jongdae the next day at study hall. “You can tell everyone else that this is the extent of my abilities, sorry.” Jongdae sighs, rolling his eyes, but mostly the expression on his face is worried. Yifan gets that, but really, this is the best he could do.)
+++
next>>
Summary: A lot can happen in the time they have left here in high school. (a/b/o au; krisho)
word count: 11,042 words
a/n: This story is too long and I'll be finishing it by October if I'm really REALLY lucky and on top of things, which is so unlikely it hurts. I am trying to update more frequently nowadays, but these chapters are seriously waaaaay longer than I thought they'd be and editing consistently keeps taking more than 3-4 days once I actually have a chapter pieced together. So overall everything's taking forever. But! Because I am kind of uh chronically ill, I really am trying to update faster/better while I'm able to. I want to make it through at least this story, you know? My perfectionism is slowly squeezing my motivation out of me, but let's see if I can keep this up regardless. I'm sorry for the ever shaky quality of this fic!
Anyway, my whining to no one aside, it wasn't until after this chapter's numerous rough drafts that I finally sat down and made a comprehensive 'exo characterization' essay for myself, so hang in there because I think I actually start having somewhat consistent characterization of them all after this chapter. Also if any of my html stuff or links or formats are weird or dead or misdirect or are just plain wrong, please tell me because I seriously won't notice for 500 years otherwise.
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+++
Junmyeon, for all his usual calm collectedness and his ability to let things roll off his back, can be a type of high-strung that's in a class of its own when he’s not trying to put a best face forward. He's always been like that, even way before they started dating. Yifan knew that, but nowadays it just seems like he's seen Junmyeon not-so-put-together way more than usual - which makes sense considering they've finally managed to all slough through midterms. Yifan sometimes takes how often he's seen the sort of quietly but frantically freaked out side of Junmyeon so far as a good sign that Junmyeon's comfortable enough when it’s just the two of them to show that side of himself. Not that he necessarily enjoys watching Junmyeon freak out. He spends a lot of time trying to do his duties and be good emotional support, of course.
But there are also times when Junmyeon's seriously stressed, and he lets it show to everybody how jittery and busy-body he's getting. These times suck, because what can Yifan even do for him? All Yifan really just wants is for Junmyeon to go lay down somewhere and take a nap until he feels better, but there's no way that's going to be an option that Junmyeon would ever feel comfortable in taking.
Yifan usually ends up stress-napping for the both of them, honestly. And anyway, of course Yifan, who among his friends is slightly renowned for taking and internalizing and overthinking and over-feeling everything (despite his talent at holding a stoic face and looking on the outside like he’s unbothered by the world), can’t really say that. Pot, kettle, and all that. Plus he gets that just saying something to Junmyeon isn't going to change the root of the problem: that Junmyeon's got a huge workload, and after all the study groups and extra homework and student council already starting on prom planning, debate is sort of pushing him over the edge. But that doesn't mean Yifan can't worry.
“We just finished midterms, so maybe lay off yourself a little? Even just for a day?” Yifan tries proposing carefully when Junmyeon spends an entire two hours curled up a chair at his kitchen table and Yifan wakes up from a nap to discover that he hasn't moved at all. After the whole being caught in the act of openly lying to his mother about spending the night at Junmyeon's (though, as far as she knew, they'd been appropriately responsible when Yifan's sudden heat had hit him, which had earned him some mercy. Yifan both counts his blessings and has to keep steadfastly ignoring the tiny seed of guilt he's carrying around from that sort of lie), Yifan has kind of been on house arrest. So Junmyeon coming over and staying strictly on the first floor in communal areas is about the best they can do for dates and seeing each other outside of school for now.
But even then, Junmyeon half killing himself by furiously researching and memorizing who even knows what is hardly romantic, even on the worst terms. “I know the debate thing is really important to you, but - ”
Junmyeon waves a dismissive hand and doesn’t even look up from his notes. “I’m fine. Hey - thoughts on the transparency of civil servants’ alignments, particularly on the federal level?”
“I’m not helping you write points for your argument,” Yifan tells him sternly. He's been down that road before once, and he'll never make the same mistake ever again if he can help it. Junmyeon doesn't mean anything by it, but he gets pretty nitpicky pretty fast with someone who clearly doesn't do debate. “I’m not falling for that trap. And I mean the one where you get annoyed with my untrained, un-debate-y ways.”
That draws a laugh from Junmyeon - which, like, score. Point to Yifan. He can be a good boyfriend, even if it's only in kind of useless ways.
Junmyeon smiles down at his notes, though his eyes are still scanning the page frantically. “This time it's easy, I swear. I just wanted to build an opening off of public opinion quotes. You can be as candid as you want, promise.”
Yifan makes a face, though Junmyeon isn’t looking at him and misses it. “Still, no thanks. I don’t feel like having to sit in the crowd and hear you dismantle my lowly, uniformed view on the weird importance placed on federal workers’ supposedly inherent ability to be aggressive.”
At that Junmyeon does look up, eyebrow quirked up in his sort-of-kind-of-annoyed-but-not-really look. “That’s not what the argument is about - ”
Yifan, now that he’s got Junmyeon’s gaze, makes the same face as before and points at Junmyeon accusingly. “See what I mean? Not falling for it.”
Junmyeon laughs - a too loud burst of his snorting, ugly laughter - and Yifan smiles. Success.
+++
But yeah, Junmyeon's hitting what Yifan would tentatively call a crisis horizon, one where he’s projecting his anxiety at everyone else instead of keeping it safely to himself like usual. To be honest, Yifan feels bad for him when he gets like this mainly because he knows Junmyeon's doing everything in his power not to - he just can’t entirely help it because he’s spiraling out of control. Yeah, as the boyfriend it’s a little hard to deal with, but then again it’s proving to just be hard on everybody.
“For the love of god, can someone please tell Junmyeon to calm down,” Minseok says as he slides into the seat next to Yifan and looks pointedly at him, like that’s not supposed to be telling.
(Okay yeah, as the boyfriend, and all the extra baggage that entails, it's getting a little hard to deal with.)
“Don’t you have lunch right now?” Jongdae asks, lifting an eyebrow at Minseok, who takes a huge bite out of the packaged bread in his hand.
Minseok finishes chewing and swallows, before scoffing. “Well yeah. With Junmyeon.” He looks at Yifan again, nibbling thoughtfully on his bread like he's graciously giving Yifan time to talk.
Yifan shrugs, not entirely sure what he's supposed to be saying here. “I can’t make him chill out about this debate thing any better than you. Just…let him burn himself out over it. The match is in a week, he’ll crash right after it’s over. You know how he is.”
Minseok shakes his head, sighing around his mouthful, and reaches across the table to pet a sleeping Jongin's hair with his free hand. Jongin snores a little into his book, but stays fast asleep. “…Wait is this where Jongin comes to skip lunch all the time?” Minseok asks, seeming put out. “Because he is never at lunch, but I always thought he was, I don't know, bothering Taemin or something."
“Yeah no, he's usually here,” Yifan says. Jongin is the kind of person who works too hard almost all the time, and he not only has dance class at school but also after school four days a week at some dance academy. This means he uses any free time at school to make sure his afternoons are freed up for late nights at the studio. Yifan and Jongdae try to occasionally get on him about not eating, but Jongin snacks in class all the time so he assures them that it's fine. “He doesn't have a study period, so…”
Minseok scrunches up his nose, but Yifan can tell his offense is completely manufactured for joking's sake. “So he constantly abandons me? We’ll be having words." Jongin snores louder, and Minseok laughs, petting his hair fondly again. "I mean, after this debate thing, though. Because I’m skipping lunch until Junmyeon stops asking me to do counterpoints against him, and then waxing poetic closing statements for ten minutes to test if they’re too 'ethos-laden' or whatever.”
“I know what you mean,” Jongdae moans out. “I thought once midterms were over we’d finally get to have some peace and quiet, but alas…”
When he also looks pointedly at Yifan, Yifan throws his hands out defensively. “I seriously don’t know what it is you both want me to do, though?” Yifan's actually kind of also busy himself. They're holding tryouts soon, and with the actual basketball season getting ready to start the coach and assistants have been modifying the practice schedule to be increasingly intense. Also there's the whole 'Junmyeon isn't going to just chill out because Yifan said to' thing, but apparently no one else cares about that.
“You’re the boyfriend, figure it out. Like…I don’t know, drag him off somewhere and makeout with him until he forgets about his stress?” Jongdae offers hopefully.
Minseok, who is now people watching the other students milling about the library while eating his bread, lets out a noise of disbelief before Yifan gets a chance to.
“Yeah...” Yifan says in agreement with Minseok. “That would be my answer too, to that suggestion.”
Jongdae groans, “Come on, but I’m in history with him! If I have to help him go through our book to highlight passages about elections with politicians revealing their alignments to garner votes one more time…”
“Didn’t I come in here specially to lodge a complaint? I share lunch with him,” Minseok reminds Jongdae.
Yifan scowls and looks back down at his notes. “Look, I can’t do anything about it, okay? He’s too tightly-wound for me to calm him down - I’m already doing my best, alright?”
Jongdae continues to whine piteously. “But finals are like…right around the corner. He’s going to be unbearable once we’re back from fall break, so it’s super important that we enjoy ourselves while we can.”
“Does he know you talk about him like this behind his back?” Yifan wonders idly, giving up on actually retaining any information and going to draw in the margins of his notebook. There's homework due this afternoon that he probably should be working on, instead of trying and failing to ignore his friends attempting to throw him on handling Junmyeon. Yifan officially does not believe in the art of handling people.
Jongdae's smile is evident in his voice - Yifan doesn't even have to look up to see it. “Yeah. I talk about him like this in his face too. He knows I’m a rogue-ish lovable kind of asshole; it’s part of my charm.”
That’s mostly a lie, because for all of Jongdae's bravado and joking, he’s actually very tender and careful with all of them and how he quietly takes care of them - Jongdae's more than likely only whining about Junmyeon in the first place because he’s worried. Like he said, there's fall break and then finals, so if Junmyeon doesn't disengage now he's going to be attempting to run full throttle on empty straight through the end of October up until December. But Yifan really does need to get that homework done before his last block, so he leaves Jongdae alone to his dreams of grandeur asshole-ishness or whatever while reaching for his literature notebook. The argument that’ll ensue otherwise isn't really worth it, not when they all always know he’s bluffing about it, and he knows that they know.
“I also talk about him in his face to him, because whatever.” Minseok says. And that’s true. Minseok is either completely quiet or letting each and every one of them know exactly how he feels about something. “But even though it’s annoying, I do actually get it. His incessant need to be a perfectionist. Just…” Minseok waves his hand around in some kind of generic but soft gesture. “Quieter, please. Ask him to do it more quietly and less in our faces?”
While Yifan appreciates the more considerate sentiments of Jongdae and Minseok's requests (Baekhyun, for example, was predictably blunt and a little biting about it; Chanyeol too), he doesn’t really get when precisely he became Junmyeon's keeper, according to the rest of the world. He wonders if the others demand for Junmyeon to do stuff about him behind his back too.
“I’ll ask.”
+++
"I'm avoiding engaging him on that particular subject," Yifan admits to a distracted Kyungsoo who's just blandly asked him if Junmyeon's doing alright or 'is planning to micromanage and over-prepare himself to death at this rate'. "I'm trying to give him his space."
Kyungsoo and Yixing are both bent over some music theory homework and busy making notations on the shared piece of paper between them, but Kyungsoo looks up for the first time in a while at Yifan's response. "Oh," Kyungsoo says. "I was just wondering what was up with Junmyeon being all...high energy, I guess. I wasn't like, trying to sic you on him or anything."
Yifan laughs. "That's a first."
Yixing looks up too, apologetic. "Are the others on your case?"
Kyungsoo taps his pencil on his homework, a half smile on his lips. "Gee, I wonder how that feels, to have at least five other people asking you to look after someone else like it's your job."
Yifan frowns. "Is this...about Baekhyun? Or - maybe Chanyeol?" Jongin, when he's in one of his particularly brattier moods? ...Me? Yifan adds reluctantly to the list.
Kyungsoo waves his hand. "See? How I'm supposed to be babysitting all of you?"
Yixing reaches over and flicks Kyungsoo on the nose. "Hey, calm down. It's not like you're incapable of brushing us all off when you decide you want to."
Kyungsoo wiggles his nose, looking kind of annoyed, but ultimately quiets without a fuss. Yixing hunches over their homework to quickly scribble something down, then looks up at Yifan again. "How are you doing, then? With the stress?"
That question, of all things, has Yifan a little confused and taken aback. "Huh? What does it have to do with me? I mean it's annoying that everyone expects me to magically get Junmyeon to stop worrying and scurrying around when we all know that's just his way at this stage of stress, but - "
"I mean," Yixing says slowly, putting his pencil down and smiling at Yifan like he's said something incredibly and hilariously uninformed. Yixing's one of the best at making Yifan feel silly, usually with absolutely minimum effort on his part. "Like Kyungsoo said, it's kind of burdensome to have people asking after you to control someone else."
Yifan doesn't really think it's burdensome, just annoying. And it's kind of annoying how it seems like most everyone else who's whining about the inconvenience of Junmyeon being overbearing isn't thinking extremely hard about empathizing and putting themselves in Junmyeon's shoes when they complain. And if they are it's coming seemingly second to their own personal inconvenience. Maybe that's just because no one else is dating Junmyeon. Maybe Yifan's being weirdly oversensitive per usual.
"I'm fine," Yifan says, fiddling around with his mp3 player. He already finished texting his mom photo evidence that he's at the public library with Kyungsoo and Yixing, so really all that's left is to actually get some work done. Yifan can't wait until he's not grounded, so little things like slacking off at the library don't make him feel like the worst kid ever. "Anyway, how is the music theory homework going?"
Kyungsoo scrunches up his face. "Kind of horrible and very tedious. We're doing mixed meters and complex time signatures and I honestly don't have the energy for this - it's a pain."
Yixing sighs and slouches. "I know. But on the bright side we're almost done! At least she made it pairwork - imagine having to this on your own."
"That's good," Yifan says, trying for encouraging. He hasn't even started on anything yet. Considering that they've been here for almost an hour now, his procrastination is getting out of hand.
"Yeah," Kyungsoo says, with something a little less severe than venom but only barely. "Especially since Jongdae has been boasting about how fast he and Baekhyun finished it during their class block."
"Kyungsoo wouldn't let me ask for any of their answers," Yixing whispers to Yifan, nodding at how Kyungsoo doubles over their homework again with renewed vigor at his own mention of Jongdae and Baekhyun, eyebrows furrowed in stern determination.
Yifan shakes his head, smiling at Kyungsoo's stubbornness. "Yeah, I'm not surprised."
Yixing shakes his head right back at Yifan, eyes twinkling with something. Maybe that's mirth? Yifan can't really figure it out. "Obnoxious competitive streaks are actually a surprisingly common personality trait among our friends, don't you think?"
Yifan finally settles on a song to click on and eyes his literature homework, which sits innocuously untouched on the edge of the library table. He isn't sure if Yixing is trying to impart another life lesson on him or something right now - it gets hard to tell when Yixing is always talking like a mellowed out spiritual guide. "Maybe," he decides to say noncommittally, and reaches for the book at the top of the stack.
+++
Yifan does try his best to delicately deal with the mater at hand. He does want Junmyeon to not half drive himself into an early grave every time a deadline crops up.
"I'd love to chat," Junmyeon tells him when Yifan goes out of his way to call him after school after what essentially could count as complete and total radio silence since this morning has transpired between them. Yifan doesn't think anyone's seen Junmyeon outside of class in far too long, which means he's probably been holed up somewhere perfecting his argument notes - though Tao mentioned fundraising brainstorming season is in for student council, so he could be doing that too. All Yifan knows is that as the debate match draws nearer, Junmyeon's ramping himself up in a way that Yifan has only seen very rarely. Junmyeon's in too many student body activity things this year, and apparently the crunch times are all overlapping.
"Seriously, I would love to," Junmyeon says, and for his credit he sound deceivingly put together. He's probably got three different day planners open and a highlighter in each hand. Yifan is probably on speaker right now, currently a distant unimportant blip in Junmyeon's hectic life. "And I'm so happy that you called to check up on me, but I have to go - I finished one thing and now I have to meet with my debate partner before tutoring - I'm just busy, okay?"
"Okay," Yifan mumbles as he slouches into the AV room. Amber's waiting for him, looking up expectantly from some packet she's skimming over as he walks in. "You don't have to worry about brushing me off - I mean, I just think you should take a breather ever now and then, you know?"
Junmyeon laughs. "Right, okay, thank you Yifan. I gotta go!"
Yifan doesn't even get another word in before Junmyeon hangs up. Amber's looking up at him now with her head tilted to the side, her expression quizzical as she tucks a pen behind her ear to free up her hands and rummage through her bag on the table.
"Trouble in paradise?" She asks lightly, pulling a bag of chips out of the depths of her backpack.
Yifan slumps into a chair across from her. God, Yifan wishes. Not that he wants to fight with Junmyeon, which surprisingly beyond the general tiptoeing issue they had earlier on hasn't really happened. It's just, maybe a huge blowout fight would be easy to fix than this unspoken undercurrent of weirdness they tend to fall into instead.
"No, just a big debate match on the horizon - plus, you know, everything else - that's making him..." Yifan wriggles his fingers in the air, trying to emulate a tiny explosion with his hands. "...a lot to handle. And everyone's decided I'm the one who's responsible for calming him down so..." Yifan sighs heavily and shrugs off his own bag onto the floor. "Whatever, I'm trying my best."
Amber frowns, bag crinkling in her hands. "You don't sound too happy with that. What's got you down?"
Yifan snorts, kicking his heel against the leg of his chair. "What do you think? Everyone's expecting me to make Junmyeon stop being a perfectionist because it's, I don't know, annoying them, and I can't figure out how to ask him to do that while actually being concerned for his mental health." Yifan feels bad when he puts it like that because, seriously, he knows they do care too - Jongdae and Minseok alone are enough proof of that. It's just...agitating. That everyone else can't just accept the inevitable about this situation, offer their quiet support, and wait it out. That's what Yifan's resigned to doing. That's all Junmyeon will let him do.
"Dude," Amber says when he looks up at her with what is probably a pathetic expression. "Just tell them to get off your back."
"That's - not..." Yifan frowns. "Amber it doesn't work like that?"
She pauses in trying to open her bag of chips with her teeth to look at him, comically wide-eyed. "Whoa...I didn't realize...friendship doesn't include telling people when they're bothering you...!" She laughs to herself and finishes ripping open the bag. A few chips fly over to Yifan's side of the table.
Yifan sends her a pained look, as she pops a chip into her mouth. "What I mean, Amber, is that's not what's happening here."
Amber licks her lips and eats another chip. "Isn't it? Or am I misunderstanding the part where you're anxiously trying to hint to your boyfriend that apparently everyone in the world thinks he's annoying, even though you disagree, and only because of peer pressure?" She points at the chips on the table. "And you can have those, I guess. I know how to share."
Yifan gestures, now meaninglessly because he isn't sure what hiss exact point here is anymore. "I - I mean, it's for his own good, to calm down. I'm worried too!"
Amber throws a chip at him. "Oooookay, if you say so." She goes back to the packet before her, puling her from behind her ear and jotting down last minute notes, on what Yifan is now realizing is a typed up script, and pulls out her phone as she slides it over to him. "Cheer up emo kid - and let me know if these questions are good for your whole team." She starts clicking away on her phone. "And if there's anything you want to add, questions or topics or game stats or something, just let me know."
"Right," Yifan says quietly, already skimming the questions. "Sorry for unloading on you like that. Thanks for wanting to interview us."
Amber throws another chip. "I'm serious, stop, where's your pep? You're supposed to be my fun interview prep sesh!" Yifan just rolls his eyes, and turns to the next page.
Yifan doesn't think anything of Amber having her phone out - she's the definition of a social butterfly, plus with her radio show she's always handling the logistics for something - until he's getting a text from Minseok saying '? sorry, for stressing you out too. I can talk to Junmyeon if you want? just thought he'd be more likely to listen to you.'
Yifan frowns and slowly looks up at Amber, who is now making her 'purposely guiltily too innocent' face she makes when she wants to be caught.
It still takes Yifan getting a second text from Minseok ('so please make amber stop yelling at me') before he gets alarmed. "I didn't tell you to yell at anyone! I'm fine!"
She waves her hand. "I didn't yell at him. And I'm helping you out."
"I don't need help," Yifan tells her sternly. Amber raises a skeptical eyebrow and pops another chip in her mouth, like she's daring him to prove her wrong. Yifan finds himself rising to the proverbial challenge. "Because, tomorrow I'm just going to tell Junmyeon straight that I think he's working himself too hard and that it's affecting everyone around him. And when nothing changes, everyone will finally leave me alone about this. Happy?"
Amber slowly chews for a long time, staring at him thoughtfully, before saying anything.
"...Huh," she finally says, pretty apologetically. "Right, I'm actually sorry for interfering, I didn't realize it was going to put you more on edge like this. Really, sorry."
He's not on edge, it's just this feels like it's being blown out of proportion - especially since all anyone can do is wait it out. Why is it Yifan's job to calm Junmyeon down? And why is Yifan kind of so bad at it? And then why is it his job to get everyone around him to cease and desist?
"Can we," he says in what he wouldn't call a huff (but according to the eyebrow quirk it earns from Amber, she would). "Just get back to this radio interview prep for the team?"
Amber licks her fingers and then wipes them on her pants, nodding emphatically. "Yeah totally. If the script's cool and good to go, I can go print off more copies for you and all the rest of your jock teammates."
Yifan shoots her a look. "You almost play as much basketball in your free time as me, Amber Jock Liu."
Amber brightens up, grinning wildly. "Hey, I almost like the J standing for that better!" Yifan just shakes his head at her.
When Amber eventually has to go run out to pick up the copies from the printer down in the main office, Yifan texts Minseok an apologetic, 'you don't have to talk to anyone for me, it's fine'. After a moment, Yifan figures he should clarify further: 'amber misunderstood me, i'm the one who's sorry'.
'if you're sure you can handle it :P,' Minseok jokes in response.
Still, all of Yifan's friends are going to be the death of him, he thinks idly when Amber bursts back in the room with a stack of copies in one hand and her cellphone on speaker in the other. "Viccy-vic wants to know why you're inconsolable and making my life hard," Amber sing-songs, like she clearly wasn't the one who probably called up Qian first to complain.
"You're such a tattletale," Yifan informs her right before she shoves the phone in his face. On the other end of the line, Qian sounds mostly confused and kind of annoyed - and seriously, sometimes his friends are all horrible and ridiculous.
+++
Kyungsoo is, according to Jongdae, “actually sick for once," and according to Chanyeol, "barely able to walk straight, like I had to escort him to the nurse because he was barely surviving gym class and he wouldn't let me carry him but I wanted to - ”
(Yifan is reluctant to call this 'karmic backlash' like Baekhyun was so readily deeming it, but it does seem like he's not faking it this time to get out of doing things he doesn't want to do.)
So. Yes, Yifan can’t recruit his help in the ‘attempting to calm Junmyeon down’ brigade. It’s a shame because he’d honestly be the best one for this job, seeing how he kind of gets best why Yifan isn't exactly enthralled about how he's been tasked to Junmyeon. To be fair though, since he's been dragging his feet on the issue and quietly making his general displeasure be known about it, the others do sort of seem to be starting to get the point slowly. Yifan still is just really confused why apparently his dating Junmyeon all of a sudden makes other people think he’s magically better at bossing Junmyeon around. Junmyeon humors him more than other people and obviously tries to do things for Yifan to make him happy about just as much as Yifan goes out his way to do things to make Junmyeon happy, but beyond that nothing about their dynamic has changed. Yifan knows the right ways to persuade him to do the occasional thing here and there, but…
“This better not become some kind of long-running, contrived problem,” Lu Han says, looking kind of annoyed when Yifan brings it up. The two of them are both idly watching Sehun chat with...well, Yifan doesn't really know who they are beyond being someone who's kind of familiar looking. Yifan can’t entirely remember where he knows their face from, but it could just be that he's seen them around school. “I’m tired of that being a thing with you two.”
“It’s not, geez,” Yifan mumbles, half glaring at Lu Han. Lu Han looks, for lack of better word, imperiously back at him, and Yifan regrets starting this conversation off on the wrong foot. He searches vaguely for a topic changer, and finds one right in front of him - literally. “Ah, who is that that Sehun's talking to? I feel like I sort of know them?”
Lu Han waves a dismissive hand. “That's because you do sort of know her. That’s Daeun.”
Yifan squints, because it does sound a little familiar. She’s apparently said something hilarious, because now Sehun is laughing and clinging off her, while this Daeun is giggling and patting the top of his head. They seem close, so Yifan probably should know her.
Lu Han sighs at how Yifan is still drawing mostly a blank. “She’s friends with Sehun, clearly. And she’s in the same sign language class as Tao - which is what’s the hold up. Tao’s out on heat and Sehun's picking up his homework for him.” Lu Han bites down on a peal of laughter. “Those silly lovebirds.”
Yifan rolls his eyes at the barely held back laughter in Lu Han’s voice; he clearly finds the act hilariously endearing. “What, don’t you pick up Minseok's homework for him? What makes them so different from you?”
Lu Han does laugh at that, incredulously so. “No no, his parents pick up his homework - or Minseok gets it himself afterwards. I only bring food.” He pauses, humming carefully in thought for a moment. “And the gift of my company.”
“So…nothing,” Yifan retorts flatly. “You bring him barely anything and then you make him suffer through you. How kind.”
Lu Han punches him in the arm, but he’s grinning. “Alright alright, simmer down and tell me what the big plan is already. Because I know you can’t just be normal and go up to Junmyeon and say ‘so everyone’s getting freaked out by your freak out, so could you scale it back?’ And honestly, if it were me - ”
Yifan cuts him off. “I don’t care what you would do, that’s not how we’re handling this.”
Lu Han looks back at Yifan, apparently offended. Yifan can't imagine why, when it's general consensus that Lu Han is a handful on a good day, and a whirlwind on a bad one. Lu Han's usually flip advice, however well-intentioned, is just completely useless and inappropriate for Yifan's use.
“What, if I’m not allowed to help then why am I here?”
For moral support, but Yifan's not about to tell him that. “Sehun's helping, you’re just there to reel him in if he gets out of hand.”
The most interesting range of emotions passes over Lu Han's face, from disgruntled to confused to amused. He finally settles on skeptical. “What, because you can’t? Why Yifan,” annnnnd Yifan can already tell where this is going - “I didn't know you needed a big strong alpha to take care of you - ”
“Is that supposed to be you?” Sehun asks pointedly as he shuffles up next to them, still waving goodbye to Daeun over his shoulder. “Because that’s the real joke here.”
Lu Han reaches over and fondly ruffles Sehun's hair. “Brat.”
“Did you get Tao’s homework?” Yifan asks offhandedly as he reviews ‘the big plan’ (which currently only consists of: accost Junmyeon before student council with his trusty backup, and hope for the best) in his head.
Sehun nods and holds up a bunch of loose leaf papers, focusing a little too intently on a paperclip (that had probably been holding said papers together before) in his other hand. It's bent up into almost a circle, as Sehun's currently playing with it and not really giving the two of them his full attention -- but Sehun being distracted and even more flippant than Lu Han is not at all unusual. “But what are we doing? Because I didn't really get a memo beyond you texting me to meet you after school.”
They’re winging it, that’s what. The whole point here is that it doesn't matter, anyway. “Just follow me,” Yifan says aloud, and whips around to try and catch Junmyeon at his locker before it’s too late. Yifan texted him to wait up, so he hopefully hasn't left.
And sure enough Junmyeon's dependable as ever, even when over-stressed. He’s waiting at his locker - though he is flipping through his school planner and scribbling down god knows what.
“Junmyeon,” Yifan calls to catch his attention, and when Junmyeon looks up and immediately smiles something in Yifan's chest catches a little. It’s nice, to be looked like that. Like he’s important no matter what.
Junmyeon then sees the other two, and though he’s still delighted he also is a little confused. “Alright, to what do I owe this visit?”
Lu Han makes a face, stifling laughter while grabbing onto Sehun's arm, which prompts Sehun to snort and say, “You are so lame.”
In this moment Yifan suddenly realizes that he’s made a dire mistake. Why he thought Lu Han would dial Sehun back, especially after being explicitly asked to, he now doesn't know. Lu Han never acts cooperatively when asked. And Sehun and Lu Han together are nightmares; the only worse combination would be Lu Han and Yixing. How did he forget this? Oh no.
Junmyeon just smiles at them, though it’s a little frayed around the edges, like all his smiles have been as of late. So Yifan cuts in because he doesn't know where those two might take this if left to their own devices. “Be nice.” He says quietly. This wasn't ever supposed to be involved, or anything. It was supposed to be a quick get in, get out, and drive home the point that there's really nothing to be done beyond playing the waiting game. He had just needed witnesses, really.
Junmyeon only waves his hand at it, completely oblivious to how pear-shaped this encounter is already going. “I’m used to them.”
Yifan tries not to panic despite that he full well knows that getting Lu Han and Sehun to disengage is a practice in futility. He just has to figure out how to keep this a 'get in, get out' operation. "I still want you to be nice long enough for us to have a real conversation," he tells Sehun and Lu Han, tone maybe a little stiffer than he intends it.
Lu Han must notice something on Yifan's face in addition to his voice, because his expression shifts noticeably to something less entertained and a fraction more, well, thoughtful and maybe...slightly concerned.
Sehun does not make such observations. He shrugs loosely. “I don’t even know what I’m here for,” Sehun complains. “You can’t expect me to just put up with Junmyeon being absurd.”
Lu Han still laughs, though with much more reservation, like maybe he's just being gracious now. Junmyeon sighs heavily and only shakes his head, that thin smile still in place.
Something about it all makes...something flare up in Yifan for some reason. “He only said hi!”
...Okay, the thing here is that Yifan didn't entirely expect himself to shout. So now he's left staring at the others, kind of shocked at his gut reaction.
The three of them are looking back at him with varying degrees of surprise written all over their faces as well.
“Yifan,” Junmyeon says warily. “I said it’s fine?”
Yifan finds himself scowling, because it's not supposed to be about him. This isn't what this attempt at an intervention was supposed to be about at all. “I know it’s fine. I’m fine. We’re not here for that."
Lu Han is now looking at him like Junmyeon's looking at him: kind of increasingly worried. Meanwhile Sehun is looking vaguely indignant, which is basically his version of worried and uncertain combined into one.
"Have I missed something...vital because I've been busy?" Junmyeon asks gently, eyes wide and searching.
Well this is stupid, and not at all how this is supposed to play out - “No, stop looking at me like that, all of you." No one does. Yifan's panicking now. This isn't about him. "Seriously, this is about you, Junmyeon, and how you're freaking out over your competition and everyone’s been on me about controlling you, like this is how it works - ”
Junmyeon's expression is changing into one that's only a few shades removed from horrified, while Lu Han - well, still looks concerned.
“Hey,” Lu Han reaches over to touch the small of Yifan's back and what the hell this has gone so out of control in absolutely record time. “Please don't freak out. We’re joking, you know?”
Yeah Yifan knows that, and he’s not freaking out right now. No need for everyone to be looking at him like he's fragile, he’s just. Flustered. “I’m not - stop it, I know you’re joking, and this isn't about me.”
Sehun's squinting at him now. “Are you sure?”
Yifan shrugs off Lu Han's hand, only for Junmyeon to reach out and catch his elbow. Yifan thinks about shrugging that off too - I'm not the only omega here, plus Sehun's the youngest so why don't you two baby him or just *someone else* for a change he thinks a little viciously - but instead he only glares at Sehun and Lu Han. He's kind of utterly lost, and more than a little agitated, but even so Yifan isn't all that sure as to why he decides to say, “Why all of a sudden are you both able to shut up about how much Junmyeon is getting on your nerves? I’m not trying to throw you under the bus, but - ”
“One, that is the definition of throwing someone under the bus,” Lu Han says airily, as his eyes flicker to Junmyeon's hand on Yifan's elbow. Something about the set of his shoulders seems to relax. “And two, it’s not just Junmyeon who’s looking like he might go off at any moment these last few days.”
Sehun hums. “He is the only one looking like he’s going to drop dead asleep on his feet, though.”
Something snarls in Yifan's chest at Sehun's words, even though again, he is fully capable of understanding that Sehun's words are not actually mean spirited. At least this time, he doesn't have any kind of unexpected outburst.
Junmyeon laughs, but it’s cautious. His fingers are smoothing constant patterns along the ridge of Yifan's elbow. “Yifan - all of you - I’m fine.”
At this, all the attention re-centers on Junmyeon. He’s not really fine, he looks run down and haggard but with a smile plastered over it. He’s going to be a zombie soon. It’s wearing down everyone around him, and Yifan's worried that -
…Oh, Yifan realizes with startling clarity, what Amber and Yixing and even Lu Han just now have been getting at clicking into place for him. Right, okay, so maybe... Maybe this really is a little bit about Yifan too.
“You know what, you two go away,” Yifan says, looking at them sharply. He makes sure to exaggerate his frown so at least Lu Han picks up on the fact that Yifan's okay, seriously, and that he's not actually mad at them. “I don’t need you if you’re just going to be this way.”
Sehun scrunches up his face, crossing his arms. “I have not been told a single piece of information from the get-go - ”
Lu Han shrugs, totally complacent all of a sudden. “Fine by me. Come, child,” he says sagely while taking Sehun by the arm and escorting him off, only a little forcibly as Sehun bristles at him now.
“That’s my thing,” he’s whining as Lu Han pushes him down the hall and around the corner. “Besides you can’t call me a kid when I’m taller than you - ”
Once they're gone, Junmyeon levels Yifan with a look immediately. “Sehun and Lu Han? Really?”
Yeah, Yifan's already kicked himself over that. “Sorry. Kyungsoo was unavailable.”
Junmyeon laughs. “Obviously, or else he would had nipped your thing in the bud.”
Yifan feels a little bad at how Kyungsoo always has to be their keeper. No wonder he’s sick right now, they’re all always running each other into the ground. But something about what Junmyeon's just said makes him pause and consider it. “...My thing?”
Junmyeon shoots him this look, one with a quirked eyebrow and a little disbelief. “Yeah. The one where you grab a bunch of our friends and try to, I guess, defend my honor?"
Yifan groans at how badly misconstrued his original plan has become. "No, I was trying to prove to them that I can't make you listen to me about prioritizing your health and having better stress management skills."
Both of Junmyeon's eyebrows go up at that. "...Oh."
Yifan runs a hand through his hair. "Yeah. It took a turn somewhere."
"Probably when your internalized worrying about me blew up in all our faces?" Junmyeon offers in that kind-but-still-totally-smart-assed way of his.
Yifan purses his lips in displeasure, annoyed that this has become about him again. "I just think we all need to have a conversation about that there are better ways to offer emotional support beyond relentlessly teasing each other."
"Ah, but it is just our way," Junmyeon says with a laugh, letting go of Yifan's elbow. He turns to close his locker, then turns back to Yifan, shifting his weight onto one leg. "Plus, the whole thing with everyone getting genuinely irritated by my studying right after midterms… I get it. I mean, I’m not going to stop being a pain in the ass, because I've got a competition to win - but I get it.” Junmyeon is sounding every inch like your typical alpha stereotype, which is kind of hilarious except he’s serious. Junmyeon's good at ignoring things he decides aren't important to him for whatever end goal he has in mind. Which has from the start been what’s got Yifan worried about Junmyeon potentially overworking himself. “It doesn't bother me, so don’t think it needs to bother you.”
And Yifan…well okay, yes, that’s mostly true. Junmyeon has just touched on exactly what Yifan's worked out, that this as much about Yifan's issues as it is about Junmyeon's. But the biggest thing here is that, seriously, Junmyeon didn't take a moment to rest after midterms. And yes, he’s determined and driven and intense and competitive and busy, but Yifan also doesn't want him to burn himself out in the long-term.
“Can you just please,” Yifan murmurs softly, his tone making Junmyeon almost straighten in attention, eyes going wide at the plea in his voice. “Please promise me to be a little easier on yourself? Take some breaks, get some sleep, eat. And - and maybe, maybe Skype your brother tonight to unwind or something. Please?”
Junmyeon smiles again, that soft sweet one that makes his eyes crinkle at the edges. It makes Yifan's insides finally unsnarl themselves. “Okay, promise. Now release me to go be late for student council, you horrible, bad influence.”
(“I asked Junmyeon about it, and he essentially said for all of you to just suck it up and deal with it, and that everything'll be fine soon,” Yifan tells Jongdae the next day at study hall. “You can tell everyone else that this is the extent of my abilities, sorry.” Jongdae sighs, rolling his eyes, but mostly the expression on his face is worried. Yifan gets that, but really, this is the best he could do.)
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