distilled unwavering: 3/39 (ii/ii)
(( previous))
“So this problem you and and Junmyeon are having...that ever going to get cleared up?” Chanyeol asks pretty offhandedly before cramming a handful of fries into his mouth.
“It’s not - ” Yifan begins to say, but then he starts a little at the realization that Chanyeol of all people is the one bringing this up. His fingers tighten around his sweating fruit cup. “Wait, how do you - ”
Baekhyun stretches like a cat and laughs all the while, mouth so wide open that Yifan can clearly see his tonsils. “What, how do we know about it? Because obviously we don’t have eyes and haven't noticed Junmyeon basically handing your hands back to you after you've been handsy for too long?” Baekhyun shoots a smug look to Yifan. “Yeah. Okay.”
Yifan groans. He's tired of always having conversations about his emotions and relationships (and, apparently, his inability to manage either of them appropriately). “It’s not a problem,” he says anyway, though it comes out sullen. “I’m working on it.”
Chanyeol nods understandingly, but Baekhyun looks skeptical. “What, how?” He asks. “By staring forlornly at Junmyeon and hoping he reads your mind?”
Yifan's brainstorming, thank you very much. “I’m working on it,” he repeats sternly. “On a plan of attack.”
Chanyeol laughs at that and rests his chin on his hands that are flat on the table, nosing the side of his drink that sits in front of him. It's just because he never can sit still for long, which isn't news to anyway who knows him, but Yifan's sort of getting a strange sense of deja vu from watching him. Weird. “Why don’t you actually attack then? Just take him aside and ask him what his deal is.”
Because Yifan already knows what his deal is. That’s not the issue here, it's more that it’s embarrassing and weird and Yifan's bad at facing his problems head on without ample of planning time beforehand. He’s forming a strategy right now. “That’s not the problem - ”
Baekhyun lights up. “Oh, so you’re acknowledging it’s a problem now?”
“No - ” Baekhyun’s the worst sometimes, Yifan thinks dully as he finally remembers to loosen his grip on his fruit cup and wipes his damp hand on a napkin. But there's really no avoiding this conversation since it's in full swing right now. “No, I just - I. I know why he’s doing it, and it’s just a…a sensitive issue.”
Chanyeol sits up abruptly to take a sip of his soda, eyebrow raised. “Yeaaah," he says once he's done, still nibbling on the end of the straw like a teething child. "Junmyeon's not really the sensitive one in this relationship, I think.”
As Yifan dully ponders over if he should be offended by that or not, Chanyeol follows up with, “I’m not saying that to be mean, I’m just - you know. I know you, buddy. You can be hard to read - and deal with - sometimes.”
Yifan personally wouldn't say he’s sensitive...but even he has to acknowledge that he's not the easiest to get. He's not incredibly open. And he’s definitely not like Junmyeon. People sometimes mistake Junmyeon's almost eternal calm patience and general coolheadedness for passiveness, weakness. Meanwhile Yifan is mostly anxious and standoffish towards the new and unknown, and he knows he can get kind of emotional easily, even if he keeps those emotions underwraps and hidden under a stoic expression and a cutting gaze while his brain works in overtime. Knowing about his own flaws doesn't make addressing them any easier, though.
“Well, like I said,” Yifan mumbles. “I’m working out what to do.”
“Well,” Baekhyun finally says after staring at Yifan with what can only be described as heartfelt pity for a very long time. “If you’re still in the middle of figuring out what you’re going to do, then what do you think it's most likely that you’ll end up doing?”
Chanyeol half-smiles and elbows Baekhyun in the side. “Way to be eloquent.”
Baekhyun shrugs and elbows back. “Hell yeah that was eloquent - I’m asking what he's worked out so far.” He wiggles his fingers in some sort of gesture that Yifan has no idea what it’s supposed to mean. “What’s the most plausible plan you've got in your arsenal, you giant jittery giant?”
Not much, he realizes as Chanyeol snorts at Baekhyun’s words, which buys him only half a second to review what his standing on the matter is. So Yifan shrugs as well, because turns out he has almost nothing despite all the going back and forth over it in his head. “Uh. I mean…” He thinks the most productive thing to have come from his pondering the situation has been talking to both Yixing and Jongin. The rest of the time has been spent trying to get Junmyeon to lighten up without explicitly bringing up the issue, all to no avail.
“Not...not much,” he has to admit haltingly after a moment. “Yixing said talk to him - which already didn't work - and Jongin just suggested we have a sleepover - "
Baekhyun’s eyebrows immediately shoot up, way too fast and way too high for his thoughts to be going anywhere good, so Yifan feels the need to clarify. “A chill one. Like, the things you see in dramas where you just talk a lot and then go sleep.”
...That...actually...now that he says it for himself, it doesn't sound half bad. He was skeptical at first, the suggestion seeming silly when Jongin first said it, but that could be really nice. And honestly, maybe the change in atmosphere could be more than a little bit helpful. Yifan's not about to say any of this out loud though - Chanyeol might not say anything since he's kind of clingy himself, but Baekhyun does not know the meaning of 'live and let live' most days.
Baekhyun makes a tiny sound of understanding. “Ah. Man for a second there I was going to be really amazed with Jongin being way more outgoing than I originally thought.” Baekhyun ribs Chanyeol in the side, grinning. “I was about to say, looks like you nabbed yourself a good one.”
Chanyeol makes a snuffling noise into his drink, presumably a laugh, before he looks up. “Yeah right. He only has those things with Kyungsoo. We don’t…we’re not there yet.”
Baekhyun and Yifan share a muted look of confusion over the table at his words. Yifan half wants to ask Chanyeol what that means exactly, because this strange ritual Chanyeol and Jongin are playing through is intriguing and strange but also kind of stressful for onlookers, not unlike the experience of rubbernecking a car accident. But before Yifan can decide how to delicately phrase What in the world are you two doing with each other, because no one else can figure it out, you know, Chanyeol is flicking condensation from his fingers in Baekhyun’s face. “But hey, I resent the implication there. He’s still a good one.”
Baekhyun mimes gagging, “All of you are gross, you know. Fawning over each other all the time and stuff.” He sends Yifan a look, just to make sure Yifan knows he's included in the set.
“Well, we can’t all be as sexually loose as you,” Chanyeol shoots back, digging through his fries again.
“You’re right,” Baekhyun says primly, looking proud of himself. “It takes some serious commitment and confidence, and we all can't have the makings of greatness in us." Baekhyun plucks a grape out of Yifan's fruit cup and nibbles on it shamelessly while looking Yifan straight in the face.
It makes Yifan wonder out loud, “Why do I hang out with you? Especially when you never order your own food.”
Baekhyun flutters his eyelashes charmingly, now reaching for Chanyeol's fries. “Because I’m so awesome?”
Chanyeol flat out laughs in his face. Yifan has enough courtesy to only shake his head sadly. It's things like this that make his life difficult. It's probably why Kyungsoo is currently fending off all invitations over group chat to hang out with a dry reply of: 'can't. sort of sick. cough cough.' Yifan should have declined to hang out in some similar way when Baekhyun invited him out (under pretenses of passing the chem quiz, thanks to Yixing) with just Chanyeol. He should have realized no good could come from being with just the two of them together. Oh well, he thinks sadly as he watches Baekhyun's expression morph into something that can only be described as sweetly murderous.
After Baekhyun shoves Chanyeol onto the floor and steals his drink, Chanyeol climbs back into his chair, saying, “But hey, if Jongin recommends you do a sleepover thing and talk this out, I’d say go with that.”
Yifan squints at him. If Jongin said Let’s go to the park with a bunch of fireworks and flammable plant life, Chanyeol would say to go with it. This has been proven already. Chanyeol is very biased when it comes to Jongin - and vice versa. His input on this matter means almost less than nothing, in that regard.
"You'd probably love a sleepover with Junmyeon, seeing how you guys used to be all lovey-dovey and touchy," Chanyeol is still earnestly campaigning for Jongin's idea. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you're not all fascinated with the idea of - " Chanyeol pauses, gasping before grinning way too widely.
"Oh my god wait," Chanyeol basically whispers out, and both Baekhyun and Yifan share that look of confusion again. Luckily, Chanyeol doesn't keep them hanging in suspense for long. "I can imagine the two of you, like, wearing each other's pajamas and spooning while talking about your deepest darkest secrets, oh my god, Yifan you'd love it."
Is Chanyeol implying something here? If this were coming from a handful of his other friends, Yifan would feel insulted; with Chanyeol, he's not sure if he should. Yifan does still feel a little attacked right now, but Chanyeol's suggestions, jokes or not, are making his heart beat double time. This is stupid, everything's stupid and he hates his friends. “We’re not going to have a sleepover, Chanyeol,” Yifan says decisively. “First of all, we’re not platonic best friends like Kyungsoo and Jongin.”
Baekhyun sips at Chanyeol's drink like it's his own and says, with a gratuitous shrug like he thinks differently, “Eh…debatable…”
Yifan decides to ignore that. “And second of all my mom would never - she’s watching us. She doesn't want us to be alone together in…suggestive settings. It’s not a case of whether or not I want to, it’s literally just something we can’t do.”
Chanyeol seems put out by this particular revelation. Which makes sense, seeing as they all know that Yifan's mom is nice but also that she doesn't mess around. “Really? Why is she worried about you guys all of sudden?”
That Yifan's obviously totally not going to talk about, so he just shrugs noncommittally. “I…think it’s because we've been together for a bit now.” He’s not entirely grasping at straws here. New developments in their relationship are the root of the problem. “I mean, so it makes sense that she’d get worried if we’re together by ourselves.”
Baekhyun plays with the straw of Chanyeol's drink and hums. “Makes sense. Before now there was absolutely no way you were going to put out - or that Junmyeon would have asked you to put out. But now…” Baekhyun squints exaggeratedly, before nodding to himself. Yifan furrows his eyebrows and pulls a displeased face at him, which only serves to make Baekhyun to squint harder. "Wow look at that confidence! So brazen, Yeah, I could see Junmyeon trying to tap that now - the whole new self-assuredness thing does wonders for you, Yifan."
"You're such a jerk sometimes," Chanyeol says, but he's laughing these words out and throwing an arm over Baekhyun's shoulders, so Yifan questions the loyalty there.
Annoyed at the implications Baekhyun's teasing him about, despite how not far off he really is, Yifan finds himself furrowing his eyebrows harder and mumbling out a halfhearted, “Be quiet.” It's not the best comeback, he'll admit.
Baekhyun only smiles endearingly up at him though, "I'm just joking, my dear friend." Baekhyun's really great at doing this thing where he makes his voice silky smooth and his entire countenance apologetic and it's a trap, it's always a trap every time but Yifan can’t help that Baekhyun's smile is near contagious. He finds himself smiling a little too, even though he doesn't really want to be.
Baekhyun waves a lazy hand, "Well, only partly joking - I don't know if it's held up, but back in middle school he did totally have this thing for dominatrix omegas and his porn stash - "
Chanyeol dutifully moves the hand slung over Baekhyun's shoulder in order to cover the entirety of Baekhyun's face. Yifan's beliefs about Chanyeol's alliances are reaffirmed.
"Annnnd I think that's enough out of you for today," Chanyeol says lightly, popping a fry into his mouth with the free hand.
Baekhyun wriggles until he's leaning far out of Chanyeol's reach. "Ugh, if I didn't know where your hands have been, I would have licked your palms."
Chanyeol waves his fingers playfully in Baekhyun's face, grinning. "Mm salty~"
Baekhyun vindictively snatches a huge handful of Chanyeol's fries, and sticks out his tongue at him.
"Thank you," Yifan says faintly, looking down at his fruit cup. The plastic container is slowly leaking little beads of juice onto the already sticky fast food table. The apple slices are a lost, rapidly browning cause. His life is very very sad, almost as pitiful as this slowly rotting pile of fruit that sits before him. Mostly he's just annoyed, though. "This has been a really helpful conversation."
Chanyeol is idly tapping some sort of rhythm against the table, clearly thinking. “Well, what do you want us to do? We can't magically solve your problem for you - especially if you're not taking advice."
Yifan spears a pineapple chunk ruefully and doesn't look up.
Chanyeol sighs. "Okay well, hey, if you ever take Jongin up on his advice - "
Baekhyun makes a quiet but derisive sound in the back of his throat that's probably got everything to do with the concept of Jongin handing out romantic advice. Chanyeol ignores him with the grace of dedicated practice. "I figure, to get around the mom ban, you've got me! I'll be your cover. Just let me know and we’ll pretend you’re at my place.”
Yifan scoffs, cramming the pineapple in his mouth. It's sickly sweet, and that puts him even more on edge for some reason. “Yeah Chanyeol, because that can’t possibly go wrong.”
Baekhyun presses his feet to Yifan's knees under the table, the soles of his sneaker uncomfortable against his kneecaps. “Hey there resident pessimist, it might not - not if you play your cards right."
Yifan reaches under the table to try and pry Baekhyun's feet off him. "Ow, that hurts, do you have to - ?"
Baekhyun applies more pressure with a grin. "Yes. Anyway, you’re the one who’s scared Junmyeon into thinking you’re a fragile flower or something. You’re going to have to do something about it. By this point even I'm kind of thinking you should go for your sanitized, romantic sleepover.”
Chanyeol grins again, as he tries to balance a fry on his upper lip. "Yifan, I think you'll have a blast - besides, what else have you got to lose?"
Uh his pride? But honestly that went out the window a long time ago. Yifan groans at his predicament, but it’s not like Chanyeol or Baekhyun are totally wrong. Something has to give, because this living in limbo thing is killing him.
+++
“So we need to talk,” Yifan finally gathers enough courage to say while checking over Junmyeon's Chinese workbook. The half a distraction gives him something to keep busy with in case this doesn't pan out well.
This new found streak of bravery is, unfortunately, at the same moment that Junmyeon has decided to say, “So I've been hearing from Jongin that you want to have a sleepover with me?”
Yifan looks at Junmyeon with alarm. “Wh - no, Jongin is just convinced that we need to have one." The walls of Junmyeon's empty homeroom classroom sort of feel like they're threatening to close in on him any moment now. Yifan blames that for his next words, which he blurts out without thinking entirely through. "Why are you always talking to other people about me?”
Junmyeon's face twists into something pinched and confused. “What, and you aren't talking to everyone else about me?”
No, everyone’s bringing it up with him, that’s the difference here. “Not intentionally - anyway, that’s not the point here.”
Junmyeon crosses his arms and leans back in his seat, “Oh?”
Yifan scrunches up his own face, lips pressing together. “Don’t give me that - ”
"Look," Junmyeon says quietly, authoritative and calm. Yifan's rising panic sort of subsides a little because of it, and Yifan isn't sure if he likes or hates that. "I think - I mean, it just feels like you're always talking about me, to everyone but me. So it makes me wonder, why don't you just talk to me?"
Yifan isn't about to panic anymore, but he does still feel flustered. This topic is just going to do that to him. Yifan's not going to break eye contact here, but his fingers worry at the corner of the workbook in his hands. "I - it's not that I'm doing it on purpose, I just..."
He's always just taken a while to get his thoughts together for the things that matter. He's always taken a while to figure out what it is he wants to do and say about the important stuff. "Junmyeon, you know how I am."
Junmyeon smiles, though its a wincing one that's a little too close to a grimace to be mistaken for anything happy. "Yifan, I know you're..." He runs a hand through his hair and laughs. Yifan flinches at the sound, and that turns Junmyeon's expression immediately apologetic.
With a sigh, Junmyeon drops the pretense of a smile, looking searchingly at Yifan's face again - like the first time they had this talk all over again. "I know you're pretty introspective. But talk to me! What's so scary about talking to me, of all people?"
Yifan pauses. He never thought about it like that. That he's 'afraid' of Junmyeon, or that Junmyeon's 'scary'. That's not quite right, though, because it's more the concept of saying the wrong thing and messing everything up that's frightening, and -
"Yifan." Junmyeon's looking at him plaintively. Probably because of the long pause with Yifan not sharing with the class, so to speak.
Yifan ducks his head briefly, kind of embarrassed. "Right, sorry. How do I put this?" There's really no way to make it sound good out loud. Yifan begrudgingly accepts his fate of perpetually sounding pathetic. "It's about high risks, I guess? With you, if I say something stupid..."
"Huh?" Junmyeon seems taken aback. "What? Do you think I'll break up with you on the spot? Yifan - "
Yifan can't help getting defensive. "I know it's dumb, but I still get all - wound up when I think about talking this stuff out with you - especially when we already tried to talk about - about the incident and somehow that went horribly wrong, and it's all so embarrassing - "
"Yifan," Junmyeon says before letting out a weird part laughing part sighing sound, and it...sort of rubs Yifan the wrong way because he's honestly trying his best here too. "Obviously we have to try talking more than once, you know, if it doesn't work the first time - "
Obviously? Alright, obviously they aren't on the same page here, because Yifan doesn't appreciate that in the least.
"Okay, I know I'm being a huge, high-strung omega pain in your butt - " It's a little extreme, Yifan knows, to take it there, but it just really feels like Junmyeon's putting words in his mouth in addition to talking down to him. "But if you could actually talk with me and not at me for a second - "
This takes Junmyeon completely off guard, his searching look getting an air of urgency to it as he takes in Yifan's apparent agitation. Good, Yifan thinks to himself.
"What are you talking about?!" Junmyeon asks.
Yifan crosses his arms, looking determinedly down the bridge of his nose at Junmyeon. He doesn't often use his height to his advantage, usually just feeling too tall and out of place because of it, but right now it seems appropriate to try it. "I really feel like you're lecturing me, and, you know, you aren't completely in the right either!"
Junmyeon seems almost like he's at a loss for words. "I wasn't saying I'm - what, am I being a huge alpha control freak, since we're throwing out self-deprecating alignment barbs now?"
He's being kind of condescending, yes. "It's just, no one asked you to assume that I didn't want to talk to you ever! I, I had to think about it - I was figuring it out - and I had literally just now brought it up on my own, remember?"
Junmyeon holds up a hand as if to stop the conversation flow, then seems to think better of it and puts it down. Yifan is grateful for the gesture, because yeah: condescending. "Okay. Yes, I came on a little strong with that. You're totally capable of talking to me, in your own time."
"Thank you," Yifan grumbles out, mostly appeased but not really sure how appropriately fast to disengage. He does uncross his arms, at least.
"And I shouldn't necessarily wait to say something if it's bothering me that we're avoiding it, right?" Junmyeon proposes carefully. He waits until Yifan slowly nods in agreement. That's fair, and honestly it takes some of the pressure off Yifan.
"Basically," Junmyeon says. "We should meet halfway. Just....don't be afraid to say things to me, okay?"
Yifan takes a deep breath. "Look, it's not that I'm afraid, I just...want things to be smooth. I want to figure out what it is I want to say before struggling through a conversation and figuring it out along the way." I want to work out my emotions before messily spilling them all over you again, Yifan thinks but steadfastly does not say.
"...Well," Junmyeon frowns slightly, and maybe he gets that underlying message anyway. "No matter how I might take it, you should speak your mind more."
Easier said than done. "I'm trying to work on it, promise."
Junmyeon raises both his hands, as if to show that he means no harm - which Yifan knows okay? Geez. “Okay. So...what is it that we need to talk about, then?”
Right. This time Yifan's not going to be dismissed, not by himself or by Junmyeon, and he’s not going to just go with the flow and let the pieces fall into place after Junmyeon nudges things just right. Junmyeon just said to speak his mind, right? “Are you afraid I’m going to shatter or something?" Yifan says, letting the words come out unbidden. "Because I’m not sensitive.”
Junmyeon blinks rapidly at that. “…What?”
Yifan eyes him carefully and tries to figure out how to keep his own momentum going. “Like - maybe it’s because I said we shouldn't have sex for a really long while? But I was sort of being…” Okay and this is where things start sounding a little ridiculous. “I don’t know. I was playing hard to get, I guess?”
“What?”
Yifan groans. “Not like - I mean it’s not like we aren't already together, but I didn't want to seem…clingy.”
Junmyeon is staring at Yifan like he’s some foreign entity that is beyond comprehension. Uh oh. “I mean, Junmyeon, come on. I was practically begging you to - ”
“It’s okay!” Junmyeon has thrown his hands up again, now almost in alarm. “You don’t have to, uh. Say it.”
...So maybe Yifan hasn't really been taking into account how embarrassed Junmyeon also is about the whole thing. He’s a little unsure how to process this new information, as he quietly says, “Uh, okay.”
Junmyeon clearly hears Yifan's uncertainty, because he closes his eyes and takes a deep, deep breath. “Okay,” he says when he opens his eyes again, calmer. “Okay, so you thought I’d think you were clingy. Okay.”
“Yeah,” Yifan says. “But I didn't think you’d freak out and start moderating out PDA. Like…calm down. I'm fine.”
Junmyeon nods again. “Yes, okay. I…okay, I’ll stop that.”
Yifan doesn't know why everything is so complicated, when clearly it doesn't need to be. “...Is this it? Is this all it took?" He squints over at Junmyeon. "Really?”
Junmyeon's mouth is doing that twisty thing it does when he’s biting down on a smile. “Seems like it. Unless...does there need to be more?” He raises an eyebrow, no longer trying to hide his smile. “Do you want to work out a sleepover schedule?”
Yifan squints more, unsure if Junmyeon is joking or not, and frowns. Chanyeol's teasing floats up in the back of his mind. Yifan focuses on the more pressing matter at hand. “Okay seriously, why are you talking with Jongin about me?”
Junmyeon laughs. “I promise, it just came up. He brought it up, actually.”
Yifan frowns harder - at which Junmyeon laughs more - and goes back to fiddling with Junmyeon's workbook. "There has to be something we can do to get them all to mind their own business."
"Besides us dealing with tripping over ourselves faster so they don't notice it," Junmyeon says lightly with a shrug. "I don't really think so."
Yifan doesn't either, but... Well, being on the subject of them figuring out how not to trip over themselves so much is making Yifan's mind wander back to Chanyeol swearing that Yifan would love being a huge sap. To Jongin insisting that sleepovers work for talking about your feelings. He doesn't want to think about these things right now, but of course he can't help it.
"Hey," he says carefully, because speak your mind right? "Honestly? Sleeping over and, I don't know, hanging out and watching TV together while talking about our hopes and dreams and why some inane thing you texted me during your free block has actually been kind of bugging me all day - "
Yifan is rambling. He's rambling, but Junmyeon is only looking at him with quiet and fond amusement. Yifan...likes it when Junmyeon looks at him like that. "Like, doing all that... Just, I kind of want to do that with you, sometimes.'"
Junmyeon smiles, gently joking, "What, do I text you enraging things often?"
"No, that only happened once, with that news article you sent me about upcoming election campaigns or whatever. It just felt like you were implying that I don't keep up with news enough or - something, whatever." This candid talking thing is weird, because Yifan feels like he's talking about inane, annoying things now. Almost like he's tattling to Junmyeon about pointless things that he himself did. Yifan will have to get a better hang of this. "It's not important anymore."
Junmyeon laughs, ever so softly, and reaches over to flip a page in his workbook. Yifan glances down and realizes he'd been on the wrong page, on yesterday's already graded assignment, the whole time.
"Got it," Junmyeon says cheerily. "We'll figure something out, then."
So maybe they'll end up giving that sleepover thing a try after all. Maybe it won’t be so bad when they so clearly need to get better at this communication thing. It's not so hard if they really try at it, it seems.
+++
It turns out getting back to normal is pretty easy, which Yifan attributes mainly to the fact that it seriously had been a non-issue all along. Well, maybe not a complete non-issue: the whole accidental sex thing is still kind of mortifying to think about. But beyond that, Yifan's just seriously making it a point to work on the whole 'talking more openly with each other' thing like they discussed, because otherwise this relationship is going to be fraught with unnecessary stress and tiptoeing and he isn't sure if his heart can take all that.
Junmyeon's working on it too, and it shows with how he stops wordlessly handling Yifan, which is greatly appreciated. Instead of just pushing Yifan away, he only sometimes stops them when they're making out to sincerely ask if everything is okay. Since Junmyeon really only does it when he’s about ten seconds away from sticking his hand down Yifan's pants - and also because it's happening less and less frequently lately - Yifan doesn't mind so much.
So they're back to being, as Baekhyun puts it, 'disgustingly cute'. Yifan isn't sure what exactly it is everyone has against how he and Junmyeon always make sure to kiss goodbye, or how they hold hands a lot, or just sort of seek out each other's presence when they're in a room together. Even Yifan's teammates make obnoxious kissy noises when Junmyeon sometimes get out of his numerous clubs early and waits for him after practice - and of course all their friends basically roll their eyes at them all the time - so clearly there's something.
“What other people think isn't really all that important,” Junmyeon says wisely as he all but burrows possessively into Yifan's side.
Yifan is inclined to agree, beaming at the contact even as Kyungsoo groans and Chanyeol snickers at them and Sehun mimes stabbing himself in the chest (which Baekhyun mimes helping him with). Yifan can’t see the rest of his friends, because they’re in his blind spots and also because he is too busy settling his chin down on top of Junmyeon's head, delighted - but he figures it’s safe to say they are either ignoring them or making fun of them.
(Lu Han confirms this suspicion by saying loudly, "Ah to be young and in love again!" To which Minseok only lets out a long-suffering sigh.)
“You have Jongin and his suggestion of sleepovers to thank for the display in front of you,” Chanyeol, for some reason, boasts. Like he’s the one who’s inadvertently responsible for the whole thing.
“Chanyeol please,” Kyungsoo says from his place in Baekhyun's favorite armchair in the living room (there had been a fight for it, between him and Baekhyun, and the winner had gotten the right to sit in it undisturbed throughout the duration of the movie they'd just finished watching), Kyungsoo's tone as if Chanyeol's words are paining him.
"Yeah, I don't really want to take responsibility for this," Jongin says, throwing in his two cents while gesturing at the both of them on the couch. "Like, I'm happy for them, but...please leave me out of this."
“Anyway,” Baekhyun says, throwing leftover popcorn at Kyungsoo because that’s the kind of risk-seeking daredevil he is - and also because the movie's over, and all bets are now off. “The fact that our obedient Junmyeon and Yifan in no way, shape or form would ever have the audacity to disobey Mother Wu aside - ”
Yifan sees Chanyeol perk up with excitement - probably from the realization that he knows something no one else knows. Yifan only gets about a second to think anything of it, and that's not even long enough for him to begin to think about getting worried.
This is because their resident youngest, who's rolled halfway across the floor to escape Baekhyun's further incessant miming attempts, pipes up before either Chanyeol or Yifan can. "You're so rude sometimes," Sehun says idly. "Who hurt you?"
Baekhyun throws more carefully aimed popcorn, still at Kyungsoo. It makes wildly impressive distance, gets considerable air, and catches in his hair this time. "Why, Kyungsoo of course. You have to learn how to be horrible from the worst people you know."
Yeah, so, Yifan is pretty sure the only reason Chanyeol doesn't proceed to let it slip that he and Junmyeon have already used him twice as a cover with Yifan's mom to have sleepovers is because Kyungsoo, at this moment, takes it upon himself stand up, step over Sehun, and slap Baekhyun upside the head with a throw pillow.
Chanyeol sighs as he peels himself off his throne of pillows to go intervene. "Kyungsoo, look, I'm so glad you're clearly feeling better - like, totally don't let 72-hour bugs or whatever get you down, I'm about that - but does this always have to be one of the first things you two do?"
Kyungsoo ignores him as Baekhyun grabs the pillow and pulls Kyungsoo down onto floor with him with a wicked smile. Kyungsoo hits the pillow, and by proxy, Baekhyun on the other side of it. Chanyeol stands to the side braced to jump in and separate them, and Tao, from somewhere in the adjacent kitchen, can be heard laughing loudly and high-pitched, obviously entertained by the debacle.
Despite Chanyeol being preoccupied, and the level of chaos in the room clearly and steadily rising (Junmyeon sighs out something that sounds suspiciously like, "And commence my worrying,"), Yifan still makes sure to send Chanyeol a covert look of gratitude - that Chanyeol just smiles and shrugs at - while running his fingers lightly over the soft material of Junmyeon's corded sweater. Things are kind of really good right now (present havoc included), and he’s determined to enjoy that.
next>>
“So this problem you and and Junmyeon are having...that ever going to get cleared up?” Chanyeol asks pretty offhandedly before cramming a handful of fries into his mouth.
“It’s not - ” Yifan begins to say, but then he starts a little at the realization that Chanyeol of all people is the one bringing this up. His fingers tighten around his sweating fruit cup. “Wait, how do you - ”
Baekhyun stretches like a cat and laughs all the while, mouth so wide open that Yifan can clearly see his tonsils. “What, how do we know about it? Because obviously we don’t have eyes and haven't noticed Junmyeon basically handing your hands back to you after you've been handsy for too long?” Baekhyun shoots a smug look to Yifan. “Yeah. Okay.”
Yifan groans. He's tired of always having conversations about his emotions and relationships (and, apparently, his inability to manage either of them appropriately). “It’s not a problem,” he says anyway, though it comes out sullen. “I’m working on it.”
Chanyeol nods understandingly, but Baekhyun looks skeptical. “What, how?” He asks. “By staring forlornly at Junmyeon and hoping he reads your mind?”
Yifan's brainstorming, thank you very much. “I’m working on it,” he repeats sternly. “On a plan of attack.”
Chanyeol laughs at that and rests his chin on his hands that are flat on the table, nosing the side of his drink that sits in front of him. It's just because he never can sit still for long, which isn't news to anyway who knows him, but Yifan's sort of getting a strange sense of deja vu from watching him. Weird. “Why don’t you actually attack then? Just take him aside and ask him what his deal is.”
Because Yifan already knows what his deal is. That’s not the issue here, it's more that it’s embarrassing and weird and Yifan's bad at facing his problems head on without ample of planning time beforehand. He’s forming a strategy right now. “That’s not the problem - ”
Baekhyun lights up. “Oh, so you’re acknowledging it’s a problem now?”
“No - ” Baekhyun’s the worst sometimes, Yifan thinks dully as he finally remembers to loosen his grip on his fruit cup and wipes his damp hand on a napkin. But there's really no avoiding this conversation since it's in full swing right now. “No, I just - I. I know why he’s doing it, and it’s just a…a sensitive issue.”
Chanyeol sits up abruptly to take a sip of his soda, eyebrow raised. “Yeaaah," he says once he's done, still nibbling on the end of the straw like a teething child. "Junmyeon's not really the sensitive one in this relationship, I think.”
As Yifan dully ponders over if he should be offended by that or not, Chanyeol follows up with, “I’m not saying that to be mean, I’m just - you know. I know you, buddy. You can be hard to read - and deal with - sometimes.”
Yifan personally wouldn't say he’s sensitive...but even he has to acknowledge that he's not the easiest to get. He's not incredibly open. And he’s definitely not like Junmyeon. People sometimes mistake Junmyeon's almost eternal calm patience and general coolheadedness for passiveness, weakness. Meanwhile Yifan is mostly anxious and standoffish towards the new and unknown, and he knows he can get kind of emotional easily, even if he keeps those emotions underwraps and hidden under a stoic expression and a cutting gaze while his brain works in overtime. Knowing about his own flaws doesn't make addressing them any easier, though.
“Well, like I said,” Yifan mumbles. “I’m working out what to do.”
“Well,” Baekhyun finally says after staring at Yifan with what can only be described as heartfelt pity for a very long time. “If you’re still in the middle of figuring out what you’re going to do, then what do you think it's most likely that you’ll end up doing?”
Chanyeol half-smiles and elbows Baekhyun in the side. “Way to be eloquent.”
Baekhyun shrugs and elbows back. “Hell yeah that was eloquent - I’m asking what he's worked out so far.” He wiggles his fingers in some sort of gesture that Yifan has no idea what it’s supposed to mean. “What’s the most plausible plan you've got in your arsenal, you giant jittery giant?”
Not much, he realizes as Chanyeol snorts at Baekhyun’s words, which buys him only half a second to review what his standing on the matter is. So Yifan shrugs as well, because turns out he has almost nothing despite all the going back and forth over it in his head. “Uh. I mean…” He thinks the most productive thing to have come from his pondering the situation has been talking to both Yixing and Jongin. The rest of the time has been spent trying to get Junmyeon to lighten up without explicitly bringing up the issue, all to no avail.
“Not...not much,” he has to admit haltingly after a moment. “Yixing said talk to him - which already didn't work - and Jongin just suggested we have a sleepover - "
Baekhyun’s eyebrows immediately shoot up, way too fast and way too high for his thoughts to be going anywhere good, so Yifan feels the need to clarify. “A chill one. Like, the things you see in dramas where you just talk a lot and then go sleep.”
...That...actually...now that he says it for himself, it doesn't sound half bad. He was skeptical at first, the suggestion seeming silly when Jongin first said it, but that could be really nice. And honestly, maybe the change in atmosphere could be more than a little bit helpful. Yifan's not about to say any of this out loud though - Chanyeol might not say anything since he's kind of clingy himself, but Baekhyun does not know the meaning of 'live and let live' most days.
Baekhyun makes a tiny sound of understanding. “Ah. Man for a second there I was going to be really amazed with Jongin being way more outgoing than I originally thought.” Baekhyun ribs Chanyeol in the side, grinning. “I was about to say, looks like you nabbed yourself a good one.”
Chanyeol makes a snuffling noise into his drink, presumably a laugh, before he looks up. “Yeah right. He only has those things with Kyungsoo. We don’t…we’re not there yet.”
Baekhyun and Yifan share a muted look of confusion over the table at his words. Yifan half wants to ask Chanyeol what that means exactly, because this strange ritual Chanyeol and Jongin are playing through is intriguing and strange but also kind of stressful for onlookers, not unlike the experience of rubbernecking a car accident. But before Yifan can decide how to delicately phrase What in the world are you two doing with each other, because no one else can figure it out, you know, Chanyeol is flicking condensation from his fingers in Baekhyun’s face. “But hey, I resent the implication there. He’s still a good one.”
Baekhyun mimes gagging, “All of you are gross, you know. Fawning over each other all the time and stuff.” He sends Yifan a look, just to make sure Yifan knows he's included in the set.
“Well, we can’t all be as sexually loose as you,” Chanyeol shoots back, digging through his fries again.
“You’re right,” Baekhyun says primly, looking proud of himself. “It takes some serious commitment and confidence, and we all can't have the makings of greatness in us." Baekhyun plucks a grape out of Yifan's fruit cup and nibbles on it shamelessly while looking Yifan straight in the face.
It makes Yifan wonder out loud, “Why do I hang out with you? Especially when you never order your own food.”
Baekhyun flutters his eyelashes charmingly, now reaching for Chanyeol's fries. “Because I’m so awesome?”
Chanyeol flat out laughs in his face. Yifan has enough courtesy to only shake his head sadly. It's things like this that make his life difficult. It's probably why Kyungsoo is currently fending off all invitations over group chat to hang out with a dry reply of: 'can't. sort of sick. cough cough.' Yifan should have declined to hang out in some similar way when Baekhyun invited him out (under pretenses of passing the chem quiz, thanks to Yixing) with just Chanyeol. He should have realized no good could come from being with just the two of them together. Oh well, he thinks sadly as he watches Baekhyun's expression morph into something that can only be described as sweetly murderous.
After Baekhyun shoves Chanyeol onto the floor and steals his drink, Chanyeol climbs back into his chair, saying, “But hey, if Jongin recommends you do a sleepover thing and talk this out, I’d say go with that.”
Yifan squints at him. If Jongin said Let’s go to the park with a bunch of fireworks and flammable plant life, Chanyeol would say to go with it. This has been proven already. Chanyeol is very biased when it comes to Jongin - and vice versa. His input on this matter means almost less than nothing, in that regard.
"You'd probably love a sleepover with Junmyeon, seeing how you guys used to be all lovey-dovey and touchy," Chanyeol is still earnestly campaigning for Jongin's idea. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you're not all fascinated with the idea of - " Chanyeol pauses, gasping before grinning way too widely.
"Oh my god wait," Chanyeol basically whispers out, and both Baekhyun and Yifan share that look of confusion again. Luckily, Chanyeol doesn't keep them hanging in suspense for long. "I can imagine the two of you, like, wearing each other's pajamas and spooning while talking about your deepest darkest secrets, oh my god, Yifan you'd love it."
Is Chanyeol implying something here? If this were coming from a handful of his other friends, Yifan would feel insulted; with Chanyeol, he's not sure if he should. Yifan does still feel a little attacked right now, but Chanyeol's suggestions, jokes or not, are making his heart beat double time. This is stupid, everything's stupid and he hates his friends. “We’re not going to have a sleepover, Chanyeol,” Yifan says decisively. “First of all, we’re not platonic best friends like Kyungsoo and Jongin.”
Baekhyun sips at Chanyeol's drink like it's his own and says, with a gratuitous shrug like he thinks differently, “Eh…debatable…”
Yifan decides to ignore that. “And second of all my mom would never - she’s watching us. She doesn't want us to be alone together in…suggestive settings. It’s not a case of whether or not I want to, it’s literally just something we can’t do.”
Chanyeol seems put out by this particular revelation. Which makes sense, seeing as they all know that Yifan's mom is nice but also that she doesn't mess around. “Really? Why is she worried about you guys all of sudden?”
That Yifan's obviously totally not going to talk about, so he just shrugs noncommittally. “I…think it’s because we've been together for a bit now.” He’s not entirely grasping at straws here. New developments in their relationship are the root of the problem. “I mean, so it makes sense that she’d get worried if we’re together by ourselves.”
Baekhyun plays with the straw of Chanyeol's drink and hums. “Makes sense. Before now there was absolutely no way you were going to put out - or that Junmyeon would have asked you to put out. But now…” Baekhyun squints exaggeratedly, before nodding to himself. Yifan furrows his eyebrows and pulls a displeased face at him, which only serves to make Baekhyun to squint harder. "Wow look at that confidence! So brazen, Yeah, I could see Junmyeon trying to tap that now - the whole new self-assuredness thing does wonders for you, Yifan."
"You're such a jerk sometimes," Chanyeol says, but he's laughing these words out and throwing an arm over Baekhyun's shoulders, so Yifan questions the loyalty there.
Annoyed at the implications Baekhyun's teasing him about, despite how not far off he really is, Yifan finds himself furrowing his eyebrows harder and mumbling out a halfhearted, “Be quiet.” It's not the best comeback, he'll admit.
Baekhyun only smiles endearingly up at him though, "I'm just joking, my dear friend." Baekhyun's really great at doing this thing where he makes his voice silky smooth and his entire countenance apologetic and it's a trap, it's always a trap every time but Yifan can’t help that Baekhyun's smile is near contagious. He finds himself smiling a little too, even though he doesn't really want to be.
Baekhyun waves a lazy hand, "Well, only partly joking - I don't know if it's held up, but back in middle school he did totally have this thing for dominatrix omegas and his porn stash - "
Chanyeol dutifully moves the hand slung over Baekhyun's shoulder in order to cover the entirety of Baekhyun's face. Yifan's beliefs about Chanyeol's alliances are reaffirmed.
"Annnnd I think that's enough out of you for today," Chanyeol says lightly, popping a fry into his mouth with the free hand.
Baekhyun wriggles until he's leaning far out of Chanyeol's reach. "Ugh, if I didn't know where your hands have been, I would have licked your palms."
Chanyeol waves his fingers playfully in Baekhyun's face, grinning. "Mm salty~"
Baekhyun vindictively snatches a huge handful of Chanyeol's fries, and sticks out his tongue at him.
"Thank you," Yifan says faintly, looking down at his fruit cup. The plastic container is slowly leaking little beads of juice onto the already sticky fast food table. The apple slices are a lost, rapidly browning cause. His life is very very sad, almost as pitiful as this slowly rotting pile of fruit that sits before him. Mostly he's just annoyed, though. "This has been a really helpful conversation."
Chanyeol is idly tapping some sort of rhythm against the table, clearly thinking. “Well, what do you want us to do? We can't magically solve your problem for you - especially if you're not taking advice."
Yifan spears a pineapple chunk ruefully and doesn't look up.
Chanyeol sighs. "Okay well, hey, if you ever take Jongin up on his advice - "
Baekhyun makes a quiet but derisive sound in the back of his throat that's probably got everything to do with the concept of Jongin handing out romantic advice. Chanyeol ignores him with the grace of dedicated practice. "I figure, to get around the mom ban, you've got me! I'll be your cover. Just let me know and we’ll pretend you’re at my place.”
Yifan scoffs, cramming the pineapple in his mouth. It's sickly sweet, and that puts him even more on edge for some reason. “Yeah Chanyeol, because that can’t possibly go wrong.”
Baekhyun presses his feet to Yifan's knees under the table, the soles of his sneaker uncomfortable against his kneecaps. “Hey there resident pessimist, it might not - not if you play your cards right."
Yifan reaches under the table to try and pry Baekhyun's feet off him. "Ow, that hurts, do you have to - ?"
Baekhyun applies more pressure with a grin. "Yes. Anyway, you’re the one who’s scared Junmyeon into thinking you’re a fragile flower or something. You’re going to have to do something about it. By this point even I'm kind of thinking you should go for your sanitized, romantic sleepover.”
Chanyeol grins again, as he tries to balance a fry on his upper lip. "Yifan, I think you'll have a blast - besides, what else have you got to lose?"
Uh his pride? But honestly that went out the window a long time ago. Yifan groans at his predicament, but it’s not like Chanyeol or Baekhyun are totally wrong. Something has to give, because this living in limbo thing is killing him.
+++
“So we need to talk,” Yifan finally gathers enough courage to say while checking over Junmyeon's Chinese workbook. The half a distraction gives him something to keep busy with in case this doesn't pan out well.
This new found streak of bravery is, unfortunately, at the same moment that Junmyeon has decided to say, “So I've been hearing from Jongin that you want to have a sleepover with me?”
Yifan looks at Junmyeon with alarm. “Wh - no, Jongin is just convinced that we need to have one." The walls of Junmyeon's empty homeroom classroom sort of feel like they're threatening to close in on him any moment now. Yifan blames that for his next words, which he blurts out without thinking entirely through. "Why are you always talking to other people about me?”
Junmyeon's face twists into something pinched and confused. “What, and you aren't talking to everyone else about me?”
No, everyone’s bringing it up with him, that’s the difference here. “Not intentionally - anyway, that’s not the point here.”
Junmyeon crosses his arms and leans back in his seat, “Oh?”
Yifan scrunches up his own face, lips pressing together. “Don’t give me that - ”
"Look," Junmyeon says quietly, authoritative and calm. Yifan's rising panic sort of subsides a little because of it, and Yifan isn't sure if he likes or hates that. "I think - I mean, it just feels like you're always talking about me, to everyone but me. So it makes me wonder, why don't you just talk to me?"
Yifan isn't about to panic anymore, but he does still feel flustered. This topic is just going to do that to him. Yifan's not going to break eye contact here, but his fingers worry at the corner of the workbook in his hands. "I - it's not that I'm doing it on purpose, I just..."
He's always just taken a while to get his thoughts together for the things that matter. He's always taken a while to figure out what it is he wants to do and say about the important stuff. "Junmyeon, you know how I am."
Junmyeon smiles, though its a wincing one that's a little too close to a grimace to be mistaken for anything happy. "Yifan, I know you're..." He runs a hand through his hair and laughs. Yifan flinches at the sound, and that turns Junmyeon's expression immediately apologetic.
With a sigh, Junmyeon drops the pretense of a smile, looking searchingly at Yifan's face again - like the first time they had this talk all over again. "I know you're pretty introspective. But talk to me! What's so scary about talking to me, of all people?"
Yifan pauses. He never thought about it like that. That he's 'afraid' of Junmyeon, or that Junmyeon's 'scary'. That's not quite right, though, because it's more the concept of saying the wrong thing and messing everything up that's frightening, and -
"Yifan." Junmyeon's looking at him plaintively. Probably because of the long pause with Yifan not sharing with the class, so to speak.
Yifan ducks his head briefly, kind of embarrassed. "Right, sorry. How do I put this?" There's really no way to make it sound good out loud. Yifan begrudgingly accepts his fate of perpetually sounding pathetic. "It's about high risks, I guess? With you, if I say something stupid..."
"Huh?" Junmyeon seems taken aback. "What? Do you think I'll break up with you on the spot? Yifan - "
Yifan can't help getting defensive. "I know it's dumb, but I still get all - wound up when I think about talking this stuff out with you - especially when we already tried to talk about - about the incident and somehow that went horribly wrong, and it's all so embarrassing - "
"Yifan," Junmyeon says before letting out a weird part laughing part sighing sound, and it...sort of rubs Yifan the wrong way because he's honestly trying his best here too. "Obviously we have to try talking more than once, you know, if it doesn't work the first time - "
Obviously? Alright, obviously they aren't on the same page here, because Yifan doesn't appreciate that in the least.
"Okay, I know I'm being a huge, high-strung omega pain in your butt - " It's a little extreme, Yifan knows, to take it there, but it just really feels like Junmyeon's putting words in his mouth in addition to talking down to him. "But if you could actually talk with me and not at me for a second - "
This takes Junmyeon completely off guard, his searching look getting an air of urgency to it as he takes in Yifan's apparent agitation. Good, Yifan thinks to himself.
"What are you talking about?!" Junmyeon asks.
Yifan crosses his arms, looking determinedly down the bridge of his nose at Junmyeon. He doesn't often use his height to his advantage, usually just feeling too tall and out of place because of it, but right now it seems appropriate to try it. "I really feel like you're lecturing me, and, you know, you aren't completely in the right either!"
Junmyeon seems almost like he's at a loss for words. "I wasn't saying I'm - what, am I being a huge alpha control freak, since we're throwing out self-deprecating alignment barbs now?"
He's being kind of condescending, yes. "It's just, no one asked you to assume that I didn't want to talk to you ever! I, I had to think about it - I was figuring it out - and I had literally just now brought it up on my own, remember?"
Junmyeon holds up a hand as if to stop the conversation flow, then seems to think better of it and puts it down. Yifan is grateful for the gesture, because yeah: condescending. "Okay. Yes, I came on a little strong with that. You're totally capable of talking to me, in your own time."
"Thank you," Yifan grumbles out, mostly appeased but not really sure how appropriately fast to disengage. He does uncross his arms, at least.
"And I shouldn't necessarily wait to say something if it's bothering me that we're avoiding it, right?" Junmyeon proposes carefully. He waits until Yifan slowly nods in agreement. That's fair, and honestly it takes some of the pressure off Yifan.
"Basically," Junmyeon says. "We should meet halfway. Just....don't be afraid to say things to me, okay?"
Yifan takes a deep breath. "Look, it's not that I'm afraid, I just...want things to be smooth. I want to figure out what it is I want to say before struggling through a conversation and figuring it out along the way." I want to work out my emotions before messily spilling them all over you again, Yifan thinks but steadfastly does not say.
"...Well," Junmyeon frowns slightly, and maybe he gets that underlying message anyway. "No matter how I might take it, you should speak your mind more."
Easier said than done. "I'm trying to work on it, promise."
Junmyeon raises both his hands, as if to show that he means no harm - which Yifan knows okay? Geez. “Okay. So...what is it that we need to talk about, then?”
Right. This time Yifan's not going to be dismissed, not by himself or by Junmyeon, and he’s not going to just go with the flow and let the pieces fall into place after Junmyeon nudges things just right. Junmyeon just said to speak his mind, right? “Are you afraid I’m going to shatter or something?" Yifan says, letting the words come out unbidden. "Because I’m not sensitive.”
Junmyeon blinks rapidly at that. “…What?”
Yifan eyes him carefully and tries to figure out how to keep his own momentum going. “Like - maybe it’s because I said we shouldn't have sex for a really long while? But I was sort of being…” Okay and this is where things start sounding a little ridiculous. “I don’t know. I was playing hard to get, I guess?”
“What?”
Yifan groans. “Not like - I mean it’s not like we aren't already together, but I didn't want to seem…clingy.”
Junmyeon is staring at Yifan like he’s some foreign entity that is beyond comprehension. Uh oh. “I mean, Junmyeon, come on. I was practically begging you to - ”
“It’s okay!” Junmyeon has thrown his hands up again, now almost in alarm. “You don’t have to, uh. Say it.”
...So maybe Yifan hasn't really been taking into account how embarrassed Junmyeon also is about the whole thing. He’s a little unsure how to process this new information, as he quietly says, “Uh, okay.”
Junmyeon clearly hears Yifan's uncertainty, because he closes his eyes and takes a deep, deep breath. “Okay,” he says when he opens his eyes again, calmer. “Okay, so you thought I’d think you were clingy. Okay.”
“Yeah,” Yifan says. “But I didn't think you’d freak out and start moderating out PDA. Like…calm down. I'm fine.”
Junmyeon nods again. “Yes, okay. I…okay, I’ll stop that.”
Yifan doesn't know why everything is so complicated, when clearly it doesn't need to be. “...Is this it? Is this all it took?" He squints over at Junmyeon. "Really?”
Junmyeon's mouth is doing that twisty thing it does when he’s biting down on a smile. “Seems like it. Unless...does there need to be more?” He raises an eyebrow, no longer trying to hide his smile. “Do you want to work out a sleepover schedule?”
Yifan squints more, unsure if Junmyeon is joking or not, and frowns. Chanyeol's teasing floats up in the back of his mind. Yifan focuses on the more pressing matter at hand. “Okay seriously, why are you talking with Jongin about me?”
Junmyeon laughs. “I promise, it just came up. He brought it up, actually.”
Yifan frowns harder - at which Junmyeon laughs more - and goes back to fiddling with Junmyeon's workbook. "There has to be something we can do to get them all to mind their own business."
"Besides us dealing with tripping over ourselves faster so they don't notice it," Junmyeon says lightly with a shrug. "I don't really think so."
Yifan doesn't either, but... Well, being on the subject of them figuring out how not to trip over themselves so much is making Yifan's mind wander back to Chanyeol swearing that Yifan would love being a huge sap. To Jongin insisting that sleepovers work for talking about your feelings. He doesn't want to think about these things right now, but of course he can't help it.
"Hey," he says carefully, because speak your mind right? "Honestly? Sleeping over and, I don't know, hanging out and watching TV together while talking about our hopes and dreams and why some inane thing you texted me during your free block has actually been kind of bugging me all day - "
Yifan is rambling. He's rambling, but Junmyeon is only looking at him with quiet and fond amusement. Yifan...likes it when Junmyeon looks at him like that. "Like, doing all that... Just, I kind of want to do that with you, sometimes.'"
Junmyeon smiles, gently joking, "What, do I text you enraging things often?"
"No, that only happened once, with that news article you sent me about upcoming election campaigns or whatever. It just felt like you were implying that I don't keep up with news enough or - something, whatever." This candid talking thing is weird, because Yifan feels like he's talking about inane, annoying things now. Almost like he's tattling to Junmyeon about pointless things that he himself did. Yifan will have to get a better hang of this. "It's not important anymore."
Junmyeon laughs, ever so softly, and reaches over to flip a page in his workbook. Yifan glances down and realizes he'd been on the wrong page, on yesterday's already graded assignment, the whole time.
"Got it," Junmyeon says cheerily. "We'll figure something out, then."
So maybe they'll end up giving that sleepover thing a try after all. Maybe it won’t be so bad when they so clearly need to get better at this communication thing. It's not so hard if they really try at it, it seems.
+++
It turns out getting back to normal is pretty easy, which Yifan attributes mainly to the fact that it seriously had been a non-issue all along. Well, maybe not a complete non-issue: the whole accidental sex thing is still kind of mortifying to think about. But beyond that, Yifan's just seriously making it a point to work on the whole 'talking more openly with each other' thing like they discussed, because otherwise this relationship is going to be fraught with unnecessary stress and tiptoeing and he isn't sure if his heart can take all that.
Junmyeon's working on it too, and it shows with how he stops wordlessly handling Yifan, which is greatly appreciated. Instead of just pushing Yifan away, he only sometimes stops them when they're making out to sincerely ask if everything is okay. Since Junmyeon really only does it when he’s about ten seconds away from sticking his hand down Yifan's pants - and also because it's happening less and less frequently lately - Yifan doesn't mind so much.
So they're back to being, as Baekhyun puts it, 'disgustingly cute'. Yifan isn't sure what exactly it is everyone has against how he and Junmyeon always make sure to kiss goodbye, or how they hold hands a lot, or just sort of seek out each other's presence when they're in a room together. Even Yifan's teammates make obnoxious kissy noises when Junmyeon sometimes get out of his numerous clubs early and waits for him after practice - and of course all their friends basically roll their eyes at them all the time - so clearly there's something.
“What other people think isn't really all that important,” Junmyeon says wisely as he all but burrows possessively into Yifan's side.
Yifan is inclined to agree, beaming at the contact even as Kyungsoo groans and Chanyeol snickers at them and Sehun mimes stabbing himself in the chest (which Baekhyun mimes helping him with). Yifan can’t see the rest of his friends, because they’re in his blind spots and also because he is too busy settling his chin down on top of Junmyeon's head, delighted - but he figures it’s safe to say they are either ignoring them or making fun of them.
(Lu Han confirms this suspicion by saying loudly, "Ah to be young and in love again!" To which Minseok only lets out a long-suffering sigh.)
“You have Jongin and his suggestion of sleepovers to thank for the display in front of you,” Chanyeol, for some reason, boasts. Like he’s the one who’s inadvertently responsible for the whole thing.
“Chanyeol please,” Kyungsoo says from his place in Baekhyun's favorite armchair in the living room (there had been a fight for it, between him and Baekhyun, and the winner had gotten the right to sit in it undisturbed throughout the duration of the movie they'd just finished watching), Kyungsoo's tone as if Chanyeol's words are paining him.
"Yeah, I don't really want to take responsibility for this," Jongin says, throwing in his two cents while gesturing at the both of them on the couch. "Like, I'm happy for them, but...please leave me out of this."
“Anyway,” Baekhyun says, throwing leftover popcorn at Kyungsoo because that’s the kind of risk-seeking daredevil he is - and also because the movie's over, and all bets are now off. “The fact that our obedient Junmyeon and Yifan in no way, shape or form would ever have the audacity to disobey Mother Wu aside - ”
Yifan sees Chanyeol perk up with excitement - probably from the realization that he knows something no one else knows. Yifan only gets about a second to think anything of it, and that's not even long enough for him to begin to think about getting worried.
This is because their resident youngest, who's rolled halfway across the floor to escape Baekhyun's further incessant miming attempts, pipes up before either Chanyeol or Yifan can. "You're so rude sometimes," Sehun says idly. "Who hurt you?"
Baekhyun throws more carefully aimed popcorn, still at Kyungsoo. It makes wildly impressive distance, gets considerable air, and catches in his hair this time. "Why, Kyungsoo of course. You have to learn how to be horrible from the worst people you know."
Yeah, so, Yifan is pretty sure the only reason Chanyeol doesn't proceed to let it slip that he and Junmyeon have already used him twice as a cover with Yifan's mom to have sleepovers is because Kyungsoo, at this moment, takes it upon himself stand up, step over Sehun, and slap Baekhyun upside the head with a throw pillow.
Chanyeol sighs as he peels himself off his throne of pillows to go intervene. "Kyungsoo, look, I'm so glad you're clearly feeling better - like, totally don't let 72-hour bugs or whatever get you down, I'm about that - but does this always have to be one of the first things you two do?"
Kyungsoo ignores him as Baekhyun grabs the pillow and pulls Kyungsoo down onto floor with him with a wicked smile. Kyungsoo hits the pillow, and by proxy, Baekhyun on the other side of it. Chanyeol stands to the side braced to jump in and separate them, and Tao, from somewhere in the adjacent kitchen, can be heard laughing loudly and high-pitched, obviously entertained by the debacle.
Despite Chanyeol being preoccupied, and the level of chaos in the room clearly and steadily rising (Junmyeon sighs out something that sounds suspiciously like, "And commence my worrying,"), Yifan still makes sure to send Chanyeol a covert look of gratitude - that Chanyeol just smiles and shrugs at - while running his fingers lightly over the soft material of Junmyeon's corded sweater. Things are kind of really good right now (present havoc included), and he’s determined to enjoy that.
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