Man In The Moon
I'm the man in the moon
Walking on sand on my home high noon
In love with the moon, love you.
- Blur
I can't even remember what I've been doing for the past few days, only aware that I've been spending them with Karl, wrapped up in his voice, his skin, his eyes, his arms....and I'm so lost. And I want to remain lost. This is so unlike me that I want to pinch myself, but it's true. And I don't fancy being anywhere else.
It wasn't easy after the divorce from Abby, because third time's the charm, right? And surely it must have been obvious that I wasn't much good at relationships after three divorces, and after a while, I began to believe that as well. It made sense for me then to close myself up, not letting too many people in - what's the point when you'd only get your ruddy heart stomped on and thrown into the bin? It meant being on my own a bit, but that's okay.
Then when I met up with Karl again after filming...let me just say that I wasn't expecting -anything- that came right after that. But it's been a rollercoaster ride so far. I was a bit afraid that we would lose whatever we had started when we realised we had entirely different views on relationships, and what was going on between us. I thought I had scared him back then, and I must have, to some extent. But looking back, I'm glad everything got sorted.
Now I wake up everyday, grateful that Karl has given us a chance, grateful that I have his love, and that he has mine. I never imagined that I would fall for anyone again, not after being broken three times, but I did, and with a mate, nonetheless. And I should just stop examining the situation with a fine-toothed comb and just open my arms and embrace it, embrace life, as being with Karl taught me to do so. He makes me feel so much less jaded, more trusting, more open to people and to doing new things, and that is only scratching the surface of why I love him.
I look at Orli and Craig, happy for them and happy for what they have, and at the wedding, that was when I realised that how I felt about Karl was bordering on that. And I'm not about to question it, and scrutinise it. It's just what it is. And as long as I love him and I have his love in return, that's all that matters, doesn't it?
Alright, better stop being a soppy git.
Have I mentioned that I love him?
Walking on sand on my home high noon
In love with the moon, love you.
- Blur
I can't even remember what I've been doing for the past few days, only aware that I've been spending them with Karl, wrapped up in his voice, his skin, his eyes, his arms....and I'm so lost. And I want to remain lost. This is so unlike me that I want to pinch myself, but it's true. And I don't fancy being anywhere else.
It wasn't easy after the divorce from Abby, because third time's the charm, right? And surely it must have been obvious that I wasn't much good at relationships after three divorces, and after a while, I began to believe that as well. It made sense for me then to close myself up, not letting too many people in - what's the point when you'd only get your ruddy heart stomped on and thrown into the bin? It meant being on my own a bit, but that's okay.
Then when I met up with Karl again after filming...let me just say that I wasn't expecting -anything- that came right after that. But it's been a rollercoaster ride so far. I was a bit afraid that we would lose whatever we had started when we realised we had entirely different views on relationships, and what was going on between us. I thought I had scared him back then, and I must have, to some extent. But looking back, I'm glad everything got sorted.
Now I wake up everyday, grateful that Karl has given us a chance, grateful that I have his love, and that he has mine. I never imagined that I would fall for anyone again, not after being broken three times, but I did, and with a mate, nonetheless. And I should just stop examining the situation with a fine-toothed comb and just open my arms and embrace it, embrace life, as being with Karl taught me to do so. He makes me feel so much less jaded, more trusting, more open to people and to doing new things, and that is only scratching the surface of why I love him.
I look at Orli and Craig, happy for them and happy for what they have, and at the wedding, that was when I realised that how I felt about Karl was bordering on that. And I'm not about to question it, and scrutinise it. It's just what it is. And as long as I love him and I have his love in return, that's all that matters, doesn't it?
Alright, better stop being a soppy git.
Have I mentioned that I love him?