50 Shades of Lame
Ok, first things first. I'm gonna talk about sex, ya'll. Specifically, the bestselling trilogy "50 Shades of Grey." I'm not going to get uber graphic or anything but if you are a parental unit or family member of mine, or just a friend who prefers we not discuss sexy books, bow out now. No harm, no foul, I'll see you at the next family dinner and
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2. I know of one woman who is over 21 (29!) who claims to have never masturbated still. If she weren't so tense
3. I do not know how to cut a pepper.
4. I can watch (and frequently quote) Lifetime movies all day long, I watch porn, but reading cheesy sex scenes makes me cringe. WHY?! I think maybe all the "down theres" and weird descriptions of bodily fluids gross me out every time. Also, at the risk of sounding less intelligent than I did by admitting #3 above, I sometimes have a really hard time visualizing what the hell is happening - I read an excerpt of 50 Shades and was very confused about a description that involved being tied up and flipped over. It sounded very uncomfortable.
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Re 2.: If she weren't so tense and repressed, I probably wouldn't believe her.
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Maybe for me it's unexpected erotica, here I am just wanting some standard chick lit and now that main character's vagina juices have been described to me and it RUINS IT. I should try reading it FOR that to see if it makes a difference! Yeah, her orgasm was pretty magical in the excerpt I read. Lots of ramming! Sorry, this paragraph was unnecessarily vulgar.
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Oh, and I've slowly been watching all the movies from your list.
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Which ones have you watched so far? And what did you think?
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Have you read all three of them? I got about halfway through the second and just had to stop. I discovered I was skimming all the sex scenes just so I could find out what was happening in the story, and realized that there wasn't much story left. :/ Ill probably finish it eventually, but I havent found the motivation.
I think Id tried masturbating once or twice in my early 20s, but it never did anything for me so I gave up. I didn't have my first orgasm until I was 36. That said, someone who doesn't masturbate likely has some kind of insecurity or sexual disorder and isn't going to be all OOH SEX, LET ME DO ALL THE SEX NAO.
Thom and I watched Melancholia tonight and LOVED it. Martha Marcy May Marlene is coming in the mail soon. :)
(Oh, and I have AIM up nearly all the time. If you ever want to chat, I'm always game!)
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You would make my LJ dream read if youd post weekly. Seriously, any topic is gold coming from your fingers.
I loved loved loved Melancholia. I think I may have to buy myself a copy, which is the highest praise I have for a film. Cant wait to see MMMM based on your recommendation.
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It's totally candy, embarassingly bad, and I read it all. the. time.
He actually stares at the pepper in confusion.
"which bit do I hold and which bit goes in the pepper?? GAAAHAH MY HAND"
didn't have an email address until the billionaire genius buys her a laptop, so she can conduct research on BDSM and email him every other minute
"Which bit do I plug into the wall and which bit do I type on?? BZZZZZTTT"
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Meanwhile, Christian is described as gorgeous, stylish, he plays the piano, he sings, he's traveled the world, he speaks French, is well read and oh, yeah, is a 27 year old billionaire genius who didn't need Harvard. Oh! And he knows martial arts! And dances!
WAIT! Anastasia can cook! You know...cause that's an acceptable female activity.
OMG. I think I could talk about how absurd these books are all day.
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