Ikwym about having the weight creep up on you. I am in the same boat and I don't like the way my body looks or feels right now. But I eat very healthily and I exercise a lot so I am not sure what to do about it...
re what to say to the girls - how about a version of what you wrote above? It's the truth, and that is generally the best way to go... I know it's more complicated than just saying "I love my body the way it is" but it's also more authentic... I don't know whether you'd feel comfortable with that though...
On a sort of related note, a couple of days ago I a tv show here that everyone's been raving about for ages (I am def. behind the times on this one) - Gok's How to Look Good Naked. Do you get that over there? I think he's fabulous and def. knows how to make a girl feel good about her body; the opposite of those bitches Trinny and Susannah...
My kids so far have only said this to me lovingly or with genuine curiosity. I tell them that's the way my body is. Only recently have I told Noah that sometimes I'm not happy being heavy but it was in the context of talking about media and how sometimes we have to fight the messages it hands us. (I said, "I get tired of never seeing women who look like me or when I do they're making fun of them. It makes me angry. Sometimes it makes me feel bad and then I need to remember that television wants us to feel bad about ourselves so we'll spend money on trying to feel good.")
And I hate walking around in a swimsuit, too. In fact I haven't in about five years.
I can say without hesitation that I am much, much fatter than you are. And he message that I give my children is that we all have to live in our own skin, and no one else's and so it's not our business to be concerned with someone else's body unless they're using it to hurt/bother us.
We talk about this in terms of the things that people might say about them, that they have short legs or round tummies, that their hair isn't straight enough or their skin isn't the right color. We talk about this in terms of their mom who is fat, their father who is unusually tall, a cousin who has only one arm, a family friend who was a "mister" and is now a "miss," their uncles who are two men who love one another, their uncle who uses a wheelchair. We reinforce, over and over, the acceptability and importance of diversity of body size and shape, of ability, of gender, of sexuality, and so on.
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re what to say to the girls - how about a version of what you wrote above? It's the truth, and that is generally the best way to go... I know it's more complicated than just saying "I love my body the way it is" but it's also more authentic... I don't know whether you'd feel comfortable with that though...
On a sort of related note, a couple of days ago I a tv show here that everyone's been raving about for ages (I am def. behind the times on this one) - Gok's How to Look Good Naked. Do you get that over there? I think he's fabulous and def. knows how to make a girl feel good about her body; the opposite of those bitches Trinny and Susannah...
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And I hate walking around in a swimsuit, too. In fact I haven't in about five years.
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We talk about this in terms of the things that people might say about them, that they have short legs or round tummies, that their hair isn't straight enough or their skin isn't the right color. We talk about this in terms of their mom who is fat, their father who is unusually tall, a cousin who has only one arm, a family friend who was a "mister" and is now a "miss," their uncles who are two men who love one another, their uncle who uses a wheelchair. We reinforce, over and over, the acceptability and importance of diversity of body size and shape, of ability, of gender, of sexuality, and so on.
And do it again, and again, and again.
That's all you can do.
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