- I will sell you my body, for no more than ten whole American dollars. It's clear that I am not using it, (nor is anybody else), and I've grown weary of it's limitations. True, it has a bit of a weight issue (much to the denial of many a kind girl, and to you beautiful women I thank you -- even if you're just humoring me, it means much as you are ( Read more... )

- It's either that, or mandatory breeding laws. I'm comfortable with each ( Read more... )

- Pronounced the way it is said in England, or how Conan O'Brien says it. Ad-ver-tiss-ment. Not ad-ver-tize-ment ( Read more... )

- You are forgiven! You are forgiven ( Read more... )

A) Four jobs I have had in my life ( Read more... )

- Hello. If I haven't said it already, I think garage rock is the greatest thing in the whole wide world. The purest form of expression, aside from the professional printed novel and the 15-year old's poem next to his algebra notes ( Read more... )

- Crossing the bridges out of New York was met with a certain difficulty. If the eyes are the windows to the soul, and if there's rain on your windshield, every moment that has made you happy blurs in an instant when you're outward bound; and rather than letting it be, a song lyric from a band you don't even like that much begins to carry such ( Read more... )

Dear Science ( Read more... )

- According to the internets (AKA: interwebs, webernets, Google, etc.), I look like certain celebrities. Some more than others.


( Read more... )

Wouldn't that be nice? Instead of looking elsewhere. It could be so nice.

- Listening to you, I get the music;
Gazing at you, I get the heat;
Following you I climb the mountain --
I get excitment at your feet.

Right behind you I see the millions;
On you I see the glory;
From you I get opinions --
From you I get the story.

- Jitterbug Perfume, ( Read more... )