ashley doll, even if other ppl have lost a friend to suicide they still would not be able to relate to the exact emotions you are going thru. i have lost several friends to suicide...the sad part is i know, there will still be more to leave this world on the same bus. morbid, completely..but it is the honest truth. but you do need to get your emotions out, and if talking to someone about what you are thinking will help you then, yes absolutly do it. pain was never something god intended for us humans to have. you cannot balme yourself for not being home the night bethe called you, just like brother can't blame himself for not being there for sonjay when he jumped off the roof of the building...i to this day still have a hard time seeing someone jump/get throwen off a building in movies, i cry my eyes out and sometimes even curl into a ball..it is really hard to go to a movie theater and see this happen...it is really a wierd rush of feelings that are overwhelming. bethe was a dear friend and should be thought about, she was a
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You don't know me and I hope that you do not think I am butting into your life. I have lost several friends to suicide but I can relate to your story in the fact that there was one friend in particular that still breaks my heart and that was 6 years ago. She called me and cried her eyes out to me about her parents divorce and how they treated her. She still is one of the strongest christians I have ever known to this day. She tried to be a good daughter and too all the bad things her parents did. She is the one that got me into church. 3 hours after she called me she killed herself....I used to run the what-ifs through my head constantly...couldn't I have done something or at least said more? I was not old enough to drive yet so I couldn't go get her and be with her. Church is what gave me relif. There is no way God would allow this girl to go to hell. She was too good of a christian...too good of a friend. My mind is now set to rest because of the following verse: Matthew 11:28
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if it is bothering you this bad then you need to get professional help. after one of my friend (which i will not name because i promised not to) had a friend die in a car accident this person was so overwhelmed with grief that she carried this burden like you did for so long. it seemed to start consuming their thoughts and hendering their life that they became secluded to themselves. the only relief they got was from talking to this professional. people that have those jobs have them because they went to learn more about people's problems. sometimes problems like this need to be handled by someone who you can talk to and know that by law they arent' allowed to say a word about your situation and they have no bias and will just let you talk. in my opinion, i don't think bethe went to hell and i'm pretty sure cathlics are the only ones that believe suicides go to hell. everyone in the christian faith i knew kinda had ambigous thoughts about that matter. sweetie, don't dwell in the past there is nothing you can do. the best advice
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