mr t pities me

[beautiful_trash]

this time of year always make me think about boys-- one boy in particular-- who have liked me. there was really just one year of my life that i actively practiced the way of the heterosexual, and it began and ended in the month of december. those were twelve very strange months of artlessly wielding my femininity. my behavior could best be

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[beautiful_trash]

i don't know if a test would have helped. i mean, it's not unknown for me to be attracted to boys-- every once in a while it's even one who was born that way-- and in the past i have found myself playing similar girl games with other women. it would need to be a comprehensive identity inventory, not just a gay test. but i guess it's the struggle who makes us who we are, and the drama is part of that. d'oh.