Dilbert
Ernie A sent around this pretty funny link:
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/02/wisdom_for_grad.html
TampaGeek's Undisputed Rules of Business:
1) All business decisions can be explained by the WAS/WAE rationale: We Are Stupid or We Are Evil. Most decisions will not be just one or the other, but a blend of being stupidly evil or evilly stupid.
Corollary to Rule #1: When in doubt, assume stupidity rather than evilness. Truly stupid people outnumber truly evil people by a wide margin -- how many stupid people do you know versus how many people like Adolph Hitler do you know?
2) The more the project manager thinks he or she knows how to do the actual productive tasks in a project (that is, the ones that don't involve project management), the greater chance that the project is immediately doomed to failure. The perfect person to manage a software engineering project, for example, is somebody who has never seen a computer in the life; the worst person to manage that same project is somebody who thinks they used to be a software engineer.
3) Nothing is as easy as it looks, and everything takes longer to do than you think it will. It doesn't matter how much padding you put on an estimate, you'll end up using every bit of it and still run out of time.
4) Everyone truly understands the concept that of the magic trinity of fast, cheap and right, and that in any effort you can only attain two of the three. The higher someone goes in management, the more they believe the same concept does not apply to them.
5) The only accurate estimate is derived by actually doing the work and reporting how long it took. Anything else is the business equivalent to reading tea leaves and doing unnatural arcane things with chicken blood. If you know somebody who is generally pretty good at giving estimates before the fact, they either have a time machine or have sold their soul to the devil.
6) The least replaceable person on a project team is the person most likely to get laid off, win the lotto, or be hit by a bus just at the most critical phase of the project. This person will NOT be replaced, and the project due date will be moved up (i.e., earlier) as well. (See Rule #1 for the reason this happens.)
7) When you finally get the blessed opportunity to work for a manager who actually knows what he/she is doing, is an effective leader and visionary, who actually makes you both enjoy coming in to work and not mind staying late when needed... when you finally get to work for that person, he or she will either be laid off, win the lotto, be hit by a bus or take a much better position in another firm. This will be like having a five second glimpse of the glory of the heavens before being cast back again into the pit of eternal damnation.
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/02/wisdom_for_grad.html
TampaGeek's Undisputed Rules of Business:
1) All business decisions can be explained by the WAS/WAE rationale: We Are Stupid or We Are Evil. Most decisions will not be just one or the other, but a blend of being stupidly evil or evilly stupid.
Corollary to Rule #1: When in doubt, assume stupidity rather than evilness. Truly stupid people outnumber truly evil people by a wide margin -- how many stupid people do you know versus how many people like Adolph Hitler do you know?
2) The more the project manager thinks he or she knows how to do the actual productive tasks in a project (that is, the ones that don't involve project management), the greater chance that the project is immediately doomed to failure. The perfect person to manage a software engineering project, for example, is somebody who has never seen a computer in the life; the worst person to manage that same project is somebody who thinks they used to be a software engineer.
3) Nothing is as easy as it looks, and everything takes longer to do than you think it will. It doesn't matter how much padding you put on an estimate, you'll end up using every bit of it and still run out of time.
4) Everyone truly understands the concept that of the magic trinity of fast, cheap and right, and that in any effort you can only attain two of the three. The higher someone goes in management, the more they believe the same concept does not apply to them.
5) The only accurate estimate is derived by actually doing the work and reporting how long it took. Anything else is the business equivalent to reading tea leaves and doing unnatural arcane things with chicken blood. If you know somebody who is generally pretty good at giving estimates before the fact, they either have a time machine or have sold their soul to the devil.
6) The least replaceable person on a project team is the person most likely to get laid off, win the lotto, or be hit by a bus just at the most critical phase of the project. This person will NOT be replaced, and the project due date will be moved up (i.e., earlier) as well. (See Rule #1 for the reason this happens.)
7) When you finally get the blessed opportunity to work for a manager who actually knows what he/she is doing, is an effective leader and visionary, who actually makes you both enjoy coming in to work and not mind staying late when needed... when you finally get to work for that person, he or she will either be laid off, win the lotto, be hit by a bus or take a much better position in another firm. This will be like having a five second glimpse of the glory of the heavens before being cast back again into the pit of eternal damnation.