love.
I can get married!!
So for awhile i've been under the impression that perhaps God does not want me to get married. This ideology was brought on by people in my life who have been very close but have suddenly failed me or suddenly been incapable of maintaining relationships. That, but also the fact that as i've grown closer to the Lord, I have discovered that the numbers of maturing believers dwindles as the road gets tougher. You look around and as you take more risks, you see your friends begin to back off in order to stay in their comfort zones. Conclusion: I have lately felt that i have been journeying on my faith alone, without any human support, which has been a blessing, and has allowed me to not be dependent on other people for my own spiritual growth. Though it has been the hardest thing to travel this road alone, i have also received overwhelming blessings in wisdom, maturity, and the way God uses me to impact my school. So all this adding up, it began to stir in my mind that God must not want me to get married later on in life and he is just using these situations to prepare me to be alone on an earthly and physical level in order to more freverently serve him.
However, as much as i hated the theory i came up with for the possibility of eternal celibacy (o gosh! that's hard to imagine!) and no earthly companionship, i constantly have been trying to talk myself out of the idea. I know that God wants his people to experience even a fraction of the love he has for us, and this is through the love and marriage between a man and his wife. Also i know that God doesn't want man to be alone because two are better than one. So these things have given me the hope that maybe someday i shall actually be able to pursue a beautiful relationship with the man that God has prepared for me.
So even though i had these counterarguments, i could never fully believe that marriage was what God would want for me, even though i so dearly and deeply desire to share my life and my heart with one person for the rest of my life.
BUT it wasn't until today that i realized how silly i may have been. I have overanalyzed the ups and downs of my life and put words into God's mouth. I translated people failing me and me growing as a Christian into "God must not want me to get married." Even though my reasons are valid, they are too far fetched. But anyways, today i was hired to take photos at my Michael and Jen's grandparents 50th wedding anniversary (so cute yea?) and as they were renewing their vows, the pastor said something that struck me. He said "Before you fall in love, you are a complete person, but when you fall in love with that one special person, your heart opens up and you are no longer complete without that person." So, gee all this 'ish' that's going on my life is preparing me not for a life of solitude, but instead these life experiences are preparing me for marriage, for the man God will have me spend the rest of my life with. Wow. So hmmm i dont know if this makes sense to anyone but myself, but i am just so excited that maybe now God can bring on the prince charming as He intended it. (when im much older of course, but you know!) So heck yes! haha...bring on the fairy tale ending...(and that right there is a whole other discussion on how girls live in fantasy worlds and make believe...ladies i advise you not to do it. You'll get in trouble with your mind!)