last night started out a little rough. i was so excited to be with everyone. and i cant say enough how lucky i am to call them my friends. theyre amazing... so began another sloppy night at mego's with the regulars. (i make killer margaritas...i was just practicing for state in the fall.)but i was acting like a girl and expecting him to read my ( Read more... )

its five in the fucking morning and im alone crying. does it get any better than this? it was another late night/ early morning for us. and i really cant get enough of him. but wheres it all going? and honestly, whats the point? to form a relationship, and let yourself get attached to someone when youre all just leaving in a little over a month to ( Read more... )

problem: i need to get out and do something ( Read more... )

i feel like im thirteen again. nothing's changed. i feel like i still have that awful hair, those chubby cheeks. size 11 again. ive come so far. but now im fluctuating. i dont feel like myself. i dont feel small like i used to. i dont have control anymore. ill never regain the discipline i had, just because its not safe, but i wish i could. i wish ( Read more... )

drunk and alone. whats fucking new? i havent felt this way in awhile, but it doesnt really take much: a few sips and a gentle reminder. im lost. its hard to remember at times like this, how independent i am, or at least how independent id like to think i am. and i just want someone. its not him that i miss...well, i really cant tell. and i shouldnt ( Read more... )

wow, this is really sad. my computer's maybe 10inces from my face and its out of focus. im probably gonna be blind by the time im thirty. i woke up late today, so saddly, no gym. but i have training tomorrow morning, yay. im not sure how much progress im making, maybe it just hasnt been long enough. or maybe im over critical..or maybe i eat too ( Read more... )

im really messing up my sleeping pattern...well, whatever is left of it. i guess its good preparation for college, waking up at 7 and coming home at 4 the next morning. and saddly, right now im wide awake(4:34 am)but its always well worth it.im probably gonna get sick, sicker...whatever i have now sure is a bitch. but no sleep is no good for your ( Read more... )

i am at a loss for words. summer has already set in and im not as articulate as id like to be, and im at a point where i kind of need to be. ive fallen back into that rut, where i just let life happen to me, instead of really living it. maybe because im sick, i feel detached. or maybe its just simply that nothing's happening that would have a ( Read more... )

ok, so i started this sophomore year...forever ago. i think its time for an update. this is my list. qualities that i hope/look for in a guy. some may seem lame, but its MY list. the longer i'm single, the more picky i will get, which is a good thing, why settle for something less just for the sake of settling. theres probably alot of stuff ive ( Read more... )

tonight i'll wait for my phone to ring. it doesnt matter who calls. whoever it is, i shouldnt go out. i dont know what i want. so i revert back to my old idea ; if you arent sure , dont do anything. ill lay here in bed the rest of the night. even though i want to be out. i want to be with people. but im too insecure to be with anyone.my emotions ( Read more... )