i feel like the most awful person in the world and i don't know how to fix it

lenny just sent me a facebook message that was all sappy and like "i miss you" and stuff and meanwhile i guess john's my boyfriend...why does everything good have to go bad so fast?!?!? i don't understand...now it's worse than it was before! all i have to do is get through sunday and then i'll have time to figure this out...in the meantime, john's ( Read more... )

ok so i think the date went well...i'll skip the gory details, but pretty much i spent 4 hours today talking to john in a coffee shop and walking around town and then i was almost late for my voice lesson. i think the word he used to describe his mood to me on the phone after the date was "giddy"...i'm pretty sure that's a good thing...

OMG 6 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!! i am sooooooo excited!!!!!!! and now i get to give ben a really good reason i won't go out with him instead of just using some lame excuse cuz he's not worth my time...i went out with him once or twice last year, and he asked me if i would be friends with benefits with him when he comes here in six days, and i said no, and ( Read more... )

you know that feeling you get when you get exactly what you want? john asked me out on a coffee date in the art hallway afterschool today, and i couldn't have pictured it any better...and i had this really goofy smile on my face for like an hour afterward...anyway, that was exciting ( Read more... )

to make a very long and upsetting story short, ben is immature and rude, and he has no concept of hurting someone's feelings...i don't even know why i bother reacting to it, cuz it won't change his attitude at all if he knows i'm angry or upset...what a wonderful way to spend the day after valentine's day...i knew something had to go wrong...if you ( Read more... )

valentine's day was much better than i thought it would be. i admit that i was wrong, although it was kinda sad thinkin about lenny not being here, but then i got a huge hug and a handful of hershey's kisses from elana, and my best guy friend, who happens to be gay, offered to pretend to be my boyfriend for the day since he shares the loneliness ( Read more... )

tomorrow is valentine's day and i am not looking forward to it at all. it seems that as valentine's day gets closer, i've become increasingly more aware, almost hypersensitively aware, of the fact that all or most of my friends have boyfriends/girlfriends or are by their own choice single at the moment...i happen to be neither, and the prospect of ( Read more... )

WHY DON'T ANY OF MY LIVEJOURNAL FRIENDS POST ANYTHING ANYMORE ( Read more... )

today is going to be the day that never ends...i have les mis rehearsal until 5, and then i have to be at school again at 6:30 for a call for a choir concert...since my parents won't be home tonight, i have stay at school the whole time, so i had to bring lunch and dinner today and i have to sit there and do my statistics homework for an hour and a ( Read more... )