So I've been an emotional wreck today...
Boy should be arriving at cal poly about now. i cried on the phone with him this morning. then mom told me i had the right to cry, because she knows i always stop myself from it, which made me sob, which made her cry. i talked to Boy again and I could tell he was trying not to cry... I'm fucking done with crying.
When I said goodbye to him the other day i just hugged him for a few minutes and it was the only time i have seen him cry. terrible. i don't want to see that ever again. when guys i'm close to cry it always makes me way upset... girls cry all the time and i roll my eyes, but Boy isn't supposed to cry. He is my Boy.
I made him keep my teddy bear.
He said on the phone that I need to get to his house and steal his flannel that he left behind. And that Q has his sweats after their drinking adventure the other night where Q vomitted all over his own pants, so I need to get those from him and keep them for myself :) I love taking Boy's clothes.
We always refence our futures together blah blah blah, thats normal... its half-joking, half letting the other know that we are in love. But when he was drunk he had randomly sent me a text that said "I am completely sure that I want to move in with you." Nothing that blunt had ever been said. It made me so excited and nervous at the same time. Idk way, we've constantly commented on being little old people together, and how we hate waking up in the morning alone, but this was so honest and current.
He brought it up again the next day, to see how I reacted. He said that he was 100% serious, he thinks we could do it before he has finished his 4 years at school. I'm only getting a 2 year degree, so after that I could move to SLO and we can rent a room. If we both are working starting now, and then I can find a job in SLO, it could potentially work.
Thats a scary concept, but something that I want more than anything right now...
I don't want this current arrangment for 4 years.
I know a lot of people in long distance relationships that work it out just fine, and we have only been together 5 months (although known eachother for ages), but the past 3 months of that we've basically been living with eachother and taking care of eachother. Fuck, for 1 month we were living together completely, in another country on our own! I'm still proud of us :D Its not a good day anymore unless he is the first thing I see when I wake up.
When I said goodbye to him the other day i just hugged him for a few minutes and it was the only time i have seen him cry. terrible. i don't want to see that ever again. when guys i'm close to cry it always makes me way upset... girls cry all the time and i roll my eyes, but Boy isn't supposed to cry. He is my Boy.
I made him keep my teddy bear.
He said on the phone that I need to get to his house and steal his flannel that he left behind. And that Q has his sweats after their drinking adventure the other night where Q vomitted all over his own pants, so I need to get those from him and keep them for myself :) I love taking Boy's clothes.
We always refence our futures together blah blah blah, thats normal... its half-joking, half letting the other know that we are in love. But when he was drunk he had randomly sent me a text that said "I am completely sure that I want to move in with you." Nothing that blunt had ever been said. It made me so excited and nervous at the same time. Idk way, we've constantly commented on being little old people together, and how we hate waking up in the morning alone, but this was so honest and current.
He brought it up again the next day, to see how I reacted. He said that he was 100% serious, he thinks we could do it before he has finished his 4 years at school. I'm only getting a 2 year degree, so after that I could move to SLO and we can rent a room. If we both are working starting now, and then I can find a job in SLO, it could potentially work.
Thats a scary concept, but something that I want more than anything right now...
I don't want this current arrangment for 4 years.
I know a lot of people in long distance relationships that work it out just fine, and we have only been together 5 months (although known eachother for ages), but the past 3 months of that we've basically been living with eachother and taking care of eachother. Fuck, for 1 month we were living together completely, in another country on our own! I'm still proud of us :D Its not a good day anymore unless he is the first thing I see when I wake up.