i am not ready to go back. both literally and spiritually. i have to finish packing.
this is a section of my report on my time in the fourth grade class (seventeen pages and much more to say. talking about myself is somehow so much easier than talking about development strategies in subsaharan africa!)
After a ton of Benjamin Franklin reading (two books, two information sheets, and a timeline), it is time for the students to write two paragraphs about Benjamin Franklin. The first paragraph should say what kind of person Ben Franklin was, and the second should cover events in Ben Franklin’s life. These instructions are written on the board.
Miriam, like the majority of her class, is having trouble. She has already written a short paragraph which mixes information about personality and events, so the teacher has requested that she copy it into two paragraphs, adding in a few details as she goes along. I look at what she has done already and find that she has already done a lot of good work, but has only copied down one sentence. I suggest that she copy down the next, which states that Ben Franklin invented the lightning rod. She nods and I leave her to do that while I help another girl.
I come back a few minutes later to find that she has only written a few more words. I sit down to supervise her copying and then I help her look for examples of why it was important in the biography pages everyone has in their folders. We find that the lightning rod was used to protect houses, and I am impressed with how she processes the information and thinks about it creatively when she says that it was used to protect people from danger. I go to check on other kids in the class, but when I come back she has once again written nothing.
I try to convince her that she is smart and has all the good ideas and can write them down by herself, but she doesn’t seem to believe me. Miriam, along with many of her classmates, has gotten into the habit of thinking of herself as bad at English and unable to do her work well when in fact she has lots of good ideas and knows exactly what to do.
Still, Miriam works hard and is among the most diligent students in the class. Towards the end of my time in the class, Mrs. Riley finds out that many students have not been completing their journal entries (nightly assignments to write about what they like or dislike, friends, Benjamin Franklin, vacation plans, etc.), so she collects them all and finds that many have only written a few sentences in or not even started a lot of the entries. Miriam has written a page every night, and while there are many spelling and grammar errors, it is clear that she has put in a strong effort, which is all Mrs. Riley asks. This is an excerpt from on of her entries:
My friend glenda is nice every day but she bejaves rily bad put it dosen’t cear because she is still nice. When I’m sad she all whis gives me something to make mi beter or she tells me don’t be sad you will be Fein and you know that you have me and you are my best Frend thas wath makes me be a littldit oky.
Miriam was correct in observing that Glenda is not exactly the most well-behaved student in the class. It is difficult to get her to pay attention or concentrate on her work, and she is often talking to friends instead of writing. In the beginning I only scold her or leave her alone to work with the more welcoming students who are more interested in trying hard. Eventually I notice what I am doing, and I am surprised to realize how easy it is as a teacher to throw attention on the well-behaved and driven students and to ignore the troublemakers who really need the extra help and attention.
I am not ready to help the more determined agitators like Karina C., who rebuffs all attempts at assistance with the oddly polite and firm with, “I don’t need help, thank you,” even when she has obviously gotten nowhere on her work. I am worried about this girl who seems so hardened against caring at such a young age, but I am not strong enough to help her, and at a certain point the most I can do is ask her to please stop distracting the students around her. I hope that she soon comes across an adult she finds inspiring enough to pull her out of her indomitable indifference.
Glenda, though, is soft much closer to the surface and all it takes to get her to write is constant urging for to concentrate and encouragement that she is really capable if she puts the effort in, along with checking on her constantly. Once I get her started, she raises her hand after every single sentence she writes, asking me to look over what she’s written and make sure it’s okay, which it always is. She seems to have no confidence in her skills, but I can tell how pleased she is with herself the few times I successfully convince her to complete assignments.
Jesus C. is another boy who has a hard time getting his work done. He sits next to Karina C., and they surely comprise the most unproductive corner of the classroom. In an attempt to get him writing, I insist that he can do it and that he is really smart (I have no idea whether this is true because I haven’t seen him produce anything, but luckily I believe in the intelligence of all people so I could use that line on all the students and believe it each time).
“No,” he claims, “I’m not.” I insist that he really is smart, but he is ready with a comeback - “I’m dumb.” I insist once again that he is smart, hoping that pure willpower can win me this battle, but he has a new response. “I’m poor,” he says. I am floored by this, though not as shocked as I would have been had this happened on my first day rather than when it did, a few weeks in to the project.
The reasons why these kids are behind national expectations are complex and abundant. There are many elements hindering the success of these kids, but one that is very clear to me is the low level of achievement a lot of them expect of themselves. Again, the background for these expectations is multifarious. Home, school, the media, and society at large surely all combine in children’s calculations of academic self-worth. However it comes about, this lack of belief in ability serves as a true impediment to accomplishment. Boosting confidence may seem like a silly goal, too inconcrete or not the job of the schools to be teaching, but based on my experiences it is clear to me confidence needs to be worked on if these kids are going to get anywhere in the more traditional reading or math. The question that a mere month in a classroom has not prepared me to answer is how this can be done.
When I tell Mrs. Riley about my experience with Jesus C., she says, in a tone as close to defeat as I ever heard her get, “Jesus has been labeled as gifted.”
After a ton of Benjamin Franklin reading (two books, two information sheets, and a timeline), it is time for the students to write two paragraphs about Benjamin Franklin. The first paragraph should say what kind of person Ben Franklin was, and the second should cover events in Ben Franklin’s life. These instructions are written on the board.
Miriam, like the majority of her class, is having trouble. She has already written a short paragraph which mixes information about personality and events, so the teacher has requested that she copy it into two paragraphs, adding in a few details as she goes along. I look at what she has done already and find that she has already done a lot of good work, but has only copied down one sentence. I suggest that she copy down the next, which states that Ben Franklin invented the lightning rod. She nods and I leave her to do that while I help another girl.
I come back a few minutes later to find that she has only written a few more words. I sit down to supervise her copying and then I help her look for examples of why it was important in the biography pages everyone has in their folders. We find that the lightning rod was used to protect houses, and I am impressed with how she processes the information and thinks about it creatively when she says that it was used to protect people from danger. I go to check on other kids in the class, but when I come back she has once again written nothing.
I try to convince her that she is smart and has all the good ideas and can write them down by herself, but she doesn’t seem to believe me. Miriam, along with many of her classmates, has gotten into the habit of thinking of herself as bad at English and unable to do her work well when in fact she has lots of good ideas and knows exactly what to do.
Still, Miriam works hard and is among the most diligent students in the class. Towards the end of my time in the class, Mrs. Riley finds out that many students have not been completing their journal entries (nightly assignments to write about what they like or dislike, friends, Benjamin Franklin, vacation plans, etc.), so she collects them all and finds that many have only written a few sentences in or not even started a lot of the entries. Miriam has written a page every night, and while there are many spelling and grammar errors, it is clear that she has put in a strong effort, which is all Mrs. Riley asks. This is an excerpt from on of her entries:
My friend glenda is nice every day but she bejaves rily bad put it dosen’t cear because she is still nice. When I’m sad she all whis gives me something to make mi beter or she tells me don’t be sad you will be Fein and you know that you have me and you are my best Frend thas wath makes me be a littldit oky.
Miriam was correct in observing that Glenda is not exactly the most well-behaved student in the class. It is difficult to get her to pay attention or concentrate on her work, and she is often talking to friends instead of writing. In the beginning I only scold her or leave her alone to work with the more welcoming students who are more interested in trying hard. Eventually I notice what I am doing, and I am surprised to realize how easy it is as a teacher to throw attention on the well-behaved and driven students and to ignore the troublemakers who really need the extra help and attention.
I am not ready to help the more determined agitators like Karina C., who rebuffs all attempts at assistance with the oddly polite and firm with, “I don’t need help, thank you,” even when she has obviously gotten nowhere on her work. I am worried about this girl who seems so hardened against caring at such a young age, but I am not strong enough to help her, and at a certain point the most I can do is ask her to please stop distracting the students around her. I hope that she soon comes across an adult she finds inspiring enough to pull her out of her indomitable indifference.
Glenda, though, is soft much closer to the surface and all it takes to get her to write is constant urging for to concentrate and encouragement that she is really capable if she puts the effort in, along with checking on her constantly. Once I get her started, she raises her hand after every single sentence she writes, asking me to look over what she’s written and make sure it’s okay, which it always is. She seems to have no confidence in her skills, but I can tell how pleased she is with herself the few times I successfully convince her to complete assignments.
Jesus C. is another boy who has a hard time getting his work done. He sits next to Karina C., and they surely comprise the most unproductive corner of the classroom. In an attempt to get him writing, I insist that he can do it and that he is really smart (I have no idea whether this is true because I haven’t seen him produce anything, but luckily I believe in the intelligence of all people so I could use that line on all the students and believe it each time).
“No,” he claims, “I’m not.” I insist that he really is smart, but he is ready with a comeback - “I’m dumb.” I insist once again that he is smart, hoping that pure willpower can win me this battle, but he has a new response. “I’m poor,” he says. I am floored by this, though not as shocked as I would have been had this happened on my first day rather than when it did, a few weeks in to the project.
The reasons why these kids are behind national expectations are complex and abundant. There are many elements hindering the success of these kids, but one that is very clear to me is the low level of achievement a lot of them expect of themselves. Again, the background for these expectations is multifarious. Home, school, the media, and society at large surely all combine in children’s calculations of academic self-worth. However it comes about, this lack of belief in ability serves as a true impediment to accomplishment. Boosting confidence may seem like a silly goal, too inconcrete or not the job of the schools to be teaching, but based on my experiences it is clear to me confidence needs to be worked on if these kids are going to get anywhere in the more traditional reading or math. The question that a mere month in a classroom has not prepared me to answer is how this can be done.
When I tell Mrs. Riley about my experience with Jesus C., she says, in a tone as close to defeat as I ever heard her get, “Jesus has been labeled as gifted.”