worst nightmare ever
I had basically the worst nightmare ever last night. It started out fun and entertaining, but ended up being pretty damn upsetting.
This is basically just a junk post, a journal entry just for myself. It has no real meaning or depth, but I felt like writing out what I remembered of the dream.
My parents were having a huge party at their house with lots of pets included for some reason. A whole lot of people were there, like Chris and Marissa and Duncan. I ran and played in the lake and messed with the dogs and cats and all that generic dream stuff. Then all the older adults and children left for some reason, and I was sitting around on my parents' bed doing stuff for the party with some British dude named Mayfield. Somehow one thing lead to another, and we have sex. Just then my parents get back, so I scramble to get my clothes back on.
Unfortunately they walk in while I'm still struggling with my shirt, and I can't think of a good excuse for my obviously hurried re-dressing, so I just admit that I had sex. They ask if it was with Mayfield, and I admit it. Around this point I realize that, wait, I have a boyfriend! What the fuck was I doing?!
So I beg them not to tell Chris so that I can tell him myself. I figure the only honest thing to do is own up to it immediately. Once I find him, I start crying. I tell him that I did something terrible, and he looks at me with so much concern and says that it's okay. He thinks that I did something terrible to someone else, so I have to push him back while he's trying to comfort me and tell him that no, I cheated on him. His expression just kind of hardens and he looks at me with disappointment and hurt and disdain.
Chris says that this is the second time that he's thought I don't just need medical help, but mental help. He implies that I'm emotionally fucked up and that I'm basically broken. I beg him to give me another chance, that I don't even know how it happened, but he rejects me.
Then I woke up and cried because it was so upsetting. Seeing Chris's face going from caring and sweet to just plain disdainful hurt so much, and just the idea of hurting him like that is so wrong to me.
I texted Chris and told him that I had a terrible nightmare where I cheated on him and that I needed a hug. He replied with "Well now you don't have to worry". I was confused and told him I had no idea what he meant. He replied "Neither do I. Newer mind".
Somehow that made me feel better. To be fair to Chris, it was about 4:30 in the morning.
I don't think I've ever outright cried because of a nightmare before. It was very upsetting.
This is basically just a junk post, a journal entry just for myself. It has no real meaning or depth, but I felt like writing out what I remembered of the dream.
My parents were having a huge party at their house with lots of pets included for some reason. A whole lot of people were there, like Chris and Marissa and Duncan. I ran and played in the lake and messed with the dogs and cats and all that generic dream stuff. Then all the older adults and children left for some reason, and I was sitting around on my parents' bed doing stuff for the party with some British dude named Mayfield. Somehow one thing lead to another, and we have sex. Just then my parents get back, so I scramble to get my clothes back on.
Unfortunately they walk in while I'm still struggling with my shirt, and I can't think of a good excuse for my obviously hurried re-dressing, so I just admit that I had sex. They ask if it was with Mayfield, and I admit it. Around this point I realize that, wait, I have a boyfriend! What the fuck was I doing?!
So I beg them not to tell Chris so that I can tell him myself. I figure the only honest thing to do is own up to it immediately. Once I find him, I start crying. I tell him that I did something terrible, and he looks at me with so much concern and says that it's okay. He thinks that I did something terrible to someone else, so I have to push him back while he's trying to comfort me and tell him that no, I cheated on him. His expression just kind of hardens and he looks at me with disappointment and hurt and disdain.
Chris says that this is the second time that he's thought I don't just need medical help, but mental help. He implies that I'm emotionally fucked up and that I'm basically broken. I beg him to give me another chance, that I don't even know how it happened, but he rejects me.
Then I woke up and cried because it was so upsetting. Seeing Chris's face going from caring and sweet to just plain disdainful hurt so much, and just the idea of hurting him like that is so wrong to me.
I texted Chris and told him that I had a terrible nightmare where I cheated on him and that I needed a hug. He replied with "Well now you don't have to worry". I was confused and told him I had no idea what he meant. He replied "Neither do I. Newer mind".
Somehow that made me feel better. To be fair to Chris, it was about 4:30 in the morning.
I don't think I've ever outright cried because of a nightmare before. It was very upsetting.