(no subject)
I desperately want to clean my car. Its all I can think about.
ups and downs topsy turvy keep the world spinning and your life moving or it'll all sweep right past you. You can't expect to ease the burden or the weight on your shoulders by living day in and day out you have to fight some time. You have to fail some time. You have to fall tonight.
If tomorrow turns its back on you and you're stuck with nothing but yesterday's news what then? Who will live your monotonaus lifestyle for you? without you. You'll never see the top if you're facing the bottom. Especially if you're diving head first. I hope you remembered your helmet.
The decline of human civilization 101.
To begin I'll tell you about the biggest influence known as "pop culture."
Don't forget your pen and paper, you'll want to take notes. You can't ruin your life alone. You'll need my help and the help of those who have come before you and done the same. With all this help you'll surely get an A in self decline.
A dieing leukemia patient in the ICU ward at Rhode Island hospital see's more to live for than the man tending to his blistering and decaying body. One has a life full of hated thoughts and memories to eat away at his heart while the other has a consciousless disease to do it for him. If I had to chose a way to die it'd be incredibly interesting. The newspaper lines would read "death by catapult."
Catapult? those don't truely exist in this day and age do they? Do people still use them to launch rocks at oncoming attackers. Are ex-boyfriends often greeted with the snap of a rope followed by the overcasting shadow of a rock three times their size? It's an unlikely way to lose your life and I'd like to be a part of that experience. I'm not even going to say whether or not I die from being launched off it. You'll have to read the fine print. Always read the fine print.
Your second lesson is the ciggarette.
Prevention of such a killer as the ciggarette is costly and pointless. Entire elimination of the ciggarette to human society would result in basically two things. 1) complete and total pandamonium 2) the worst depression this country has ever seen.
think about it. How much money do ciggarette companies make a year? How much of that prophet is cut into our taxes? How the hell else does new york city afford to continue to do construction on unneccessary parts of major traffic areas to cause unsightly amounts of jams and accidents that result in prophet for the economy as well since people waiting in traffic will smoke, drink, or cause an accident that will be charged to their insurance company that will produce money for that company thus adding to the governments taxes as well. How much money is spent on preventive measures for smokers? From little no smoking signs in every restaurant and public area in the state of Rhode Island to million dollar commercial ad's talking about the new child oriented flavors of tobacco. Forcing the ciggarette company to close shop would cause more than just a few major tobacco companies to crumble. Millions out of jobs, billions with an incurable addiction. It'd be worse then woodstock.
You must accept your fate as a human being in this world. You live to live for money and greed and wealth and poverty and love and hope and the crushing of both things and dreams that never come true and faith that cannot be proven and finding a heart to pair with yours so you can crumble together in agony. And when you die, you could get your picture in the paper. A lifetime goal for some. You get a paragraph about how great you were at hiding all the awfulness in life and if you never hid it then you were naive to it or ignored it. People will show up to look at your body and see how well the mortician did on caking your face with make-up to give off the idea that you would pop out any second and surprise everyone. Some will touch you because they've never touched a body before. Others will cry at the lack of the rise and fall action within your chest. Many will sit and say nothing as if to be pretending they aren't nearly as sad as the man kneeling in front of you sobbing. Then they toss you down and cover you up like some mafia murder and enjoy food at your expense and casually gab away the pain of still being alive. In a few weeks most will move on with their lives and only say things to your nature 5 years from now when they remember the time they slept with your girlfriend while you were out on business. And then they'll call her to see how she's doing. Others will take months to recover but eventually the absence of your face will become an out of sight out of mind effect.
Love will defeat you.
You won't know for sure if you're in love until you're out. You won't realize what you have until you've lost it. You won't remember her dad's name but you'll never forget the way she smelt when she lay beside you all those nights. There will be parts of your relationship you'll look back on and laugh at. The faces she made when you moved inside of her. The pitch of her voice when she was about to breakdown. There will be parts you'll look back on and still cry about 10 15 20 years from now because those were times when you were truelly happy. Those were the things that made you like the leukemia patient. It gave you something to live for. The times when she kissed you awake. Left you a note in your shoe that said "have a good day." The mornings you woke up to breakfast in bed or the morning you woke up and her dad was trying to get in and check on her. The love you made and the plans you deserted to be with her just 10 more minutes. The truth is, love ruins you. If you never love someone then you never fall out of it. I've never seen pain like love causes. There's nothing comparabale. Billions of songs will tell you this. Someone will eventually show you. And when you lay in bed without the strength to move on nor the will to live any longer only then will you truelly have discovered suffering. Don't be afraid to remember the good and bad though. Without those thoughts you're likely to be hurt again. It's ok to miss someone.
Watch the movie unknown white male. Fear is presented to you in the form of escape. It's beautiful.
I've come to the realization I don't fear death. I fear the death of those around me. Losing anyone in my life means simply a shift of my lifestyle to continue to function without them in it. More difinitively it means introducing my life to a pain again that is the closest thing to falling out of love. I don't fear dieing though. To fear the end of anything has shown me to be incredibly wasteful. You spend all your time avoiding such things and miss out on a million adventures. If I don't drive at rediculously fast speeds or take risks while driving its because I don't have car insurance and can't afford the speeding ticket. If I don't swim where I can't reach the bottom or safety its because the waters too cold or i'm afraid of what lurks beneath. If I chose not to take a life or death risk its not because I'm afraid I'll die its more that I'm afraid I'll live and not be able to afford it or cope with it. In some instances I'd much rather die than receive the medical bill.
I don't need to be saved. I just enjoy your company.
I think at birth god should send you with a carry on bag. Things for your life. A video camera, a tape recorder, a journal, Journey's greatest hits album, two tickets to the zoo, scissors, and the mission to find someone to go to the zoo with you.
The video camera will help to ease the trouble of forgetting the things you'll miss most when you're dieing.
The tape recorder is so you can record yourself singing in the shower so someone else doesn't have to. Maybe if you know before they do how awful it is, you can prevent that embarassment later on.
A journal to keep yourself up to date on your day to day life so you can remember what you were doing when your best friend committed suicide.
Journey's greatest hits album because if you're going to enter a world full of such dissapointment you might as well have a damn good cd to carry you through.
Two tickets to the zoo will bring you and your mission into the world of animals. You'll discover penguins are kind of slimy, polar bears are not white, flamingos like shrimp, and the point of chickens at the zoo or the farm exhibit really is just to annoy you. Demand more monkeys.
Scissors! You'll always need a pair of scissors when you don't have them. The day you lose these scissors is the day your shoe lace gets stuck in the crack of a train track and you need to cut the lace or die. Guard them with your life, people will always steal them or lose them for you.
Find someone to go to the zoo with you. Enjoy this experience with someone you've chosen because you only get two tickets so one trip and the best relationships start with the date being free to both parties.
Don't hold your breath. For anything. It wont come through. Your face will turn colors. Your chest will start to hurt. You'll kill brain cells and if you want to accomplish that there are plenty of drugs that will do that for you in a much more pleasent way. In the end you'll be out of breath, out of luck, and dumber. The gain doesn't equal the loss.
Eat all the foods you love and don't worry about where it will show up on your body. Its good. Enjoy it.
I didn't show up for work today and never called. They still want me back. Pathetic.
I want to become a business teacher. A cake decorator. A detective. A missionary. A marine. A clothing store stocker. A writer. A reader. A miserable old woman with too many cats and not enough bras to hold up my saggy boobs.
~Maliet
ups and downs topsy turvy keep the world spinning and your life moving or it'll all sweep right past you. You can't expect to ease the burden or the weight on your shoulders by living day in and day out you have to fight some time. You have to fail some time. You have to fall tonight.
If tomorrow turns its back on you and you're stuck with nothing but yesterday's news what then? Who will live your monotonaus lifestyle for you? without you. You'll never see the top if you're facing the bottom. Especially if you're diving head first. I hope you remembered your helmet.
The decline of human civilization 101.
To begin I'll tell you about the biggest influence known as "pop culture."
Don't forget your pen and paper, you'll want to take notes. You can't ruin your life alone. You'll need my help and the help of those who have come before you and done the same. With all this help you'll surely get an A in self decline.
A dieing leukemia patient in the ICU ward at Rhode Island hospital see's more to live for than the man tending to his blistering and decaying body. One has a life full of hated thoughts and memories to eat away at his heart while the other has a consciousless disease to do it for him. If I had to chose a way to die it'd be incredibly interesting. The newspaper lines would read "death by catapult."
Catapult? those don't truely exist in this day and age do they? Do people still use them to launch rocks at oncoming attackers. Are ex-boyfriends often greeted with the snap of a rope followed by the overcasting shadow of a rock three times their size? It's an unlikely way to lose your life and I'd like to be a part of that experience. I'm not even going to say whether or not I die from being launched off it. You'll have to read the fine print. Always read the fine print.
Your second lesson is the ciggarette.
Prevention of such a killer as the ciggarette is costly and pointless. Entire elimination of the ciggarette to human society would result in basically two things. 1) complete and total pandamonium 2) the worst depression this country has ever seen.
think about it. How much money do ciggarette companies make a year? How much of that prophet is cut into our taxes? How the hell else does new york city afford to continue to do construction on unneccessary parts of major traffic areas to cause unsightly amounts of jams and accidents that result in prophet for the economy as well since people waiting in traffic will smoke, drink, or cause an accident that will be charged to their insurance company that will produce money for that company thus adding to the governments taxes as well. How much money is spent on preventive measures for smokers? From little no smoking signs in every restaurant and public area in the state of Rhode Island to million dollar commercial ad's talking about the new child oriented flavors of tobacco. Forcing the ciggarette company to close shop would cause more than just a few major tobacco companies to crumble. Millions out of jobs, billions with an incurable addiction. It'd be worse then woodstock.
You must accept your fate as a human being in this world. You live to live for money and greed and wealth and poverty and love and hope and the crushing of both things and dreams that never come true and faith that cannot be proven and finding a heart to pair with yours so you can crumble together in agony. And when you die, you could get your picture in the paper. A lifetime goal for some. You get a paragraph about how great you were at hiding all the awfulness in life and if you never hid it then you were naive to it or ignored it. People will show up to look at your body and see how well the mortician did on caking your face with make-up to give off the idea that you would pop out any second and surprise everyone. Some will touch you because they've never touched a body before. Others will cry at the lack of the rise and fall action within your chest. Many will sit and say nothing as if to be pretending they aren't nearly as sad as the man kneeling in front of you sobbing. Then they toss you down and cover you up like some mafia murder and enjoy food at your expense and casually gab away the pain of still being alive. In a few weeks most will move on with their lives and only say things to your nature 5 years from now when they remember the time they slept with your girlfriend while you were out on business. And then they'll call her to see how she's doing. Others will take months to recover but eventually the absence of your face will become an out of sight out of mind effect.
Love will defeat you.
You won't know for sure if you're in love until you're out. You won't realize what you have until you've lost it. You won't remember her dad's name but you'll never forget the way she smelt when she lay beside you all those nights. There will be parts of your relationship you'll look back on and laugh at. The faces she made when you moved inside of her. The pitch of her voice when she was about to breakdown. There will be parts you'll look back on and still cry about 10 15 20 years from now because those were times when you were truelly happy. Those were the things that made you like the leukemia patient. It gave you something to live for. The times when she kissed you awake. Left you a note in your shoe that said "have a good day." The mornings you woke up to breakfast in bed or the morning you woke up and her dad was trying to get in and check on her. The love you made and the plans you deserted to be with her just 10 more minutes. The truth is, love ruins you. If you never love someone then you never fall out of it. I've never seen pain like love causes. There's nothing comparabale. Billions of songs will tell you this. Someone will eventually show you. And when you lay in bed without the strength to move on nor the will to live any longer only then will you truelly have discovered suffering. Don't be afraid to remember the good and bad though. Without those thoughts you're likely to be hurt again. It's ok to miss someone.
Watch the movie unknown white male. Fear is presented to you in the form of escape. It's beautiful.
I've come to the realization I don't fear death. I fear the death of those around me. Losing anyone in my life means simply a shift of my lifestyle to continue to function without them in it. More difinitively it means introducing my life to a pain again that is the closest thing to falling out of love. I don't fear dieing though. To fear the end of anything has shown me to be incredibly wasteful. You spend all your time avoiding such things and miss out on a million adventures. If I don't drive at rediculously fast speeds or take risks while driving its because I don't have car insurance and can't afford the speeding ticket. If I don't swim where I can't reach the bottom or safety its because the waters too cold or i'm afraid of what lurks beneath. If I chose not to take a life or death risk its not because I'm afraid I'll die its more that I'm afraid I'll live and not be able to afford it or cope with it. In some instances I'd much rather die than receive the medical bill.
I don't need to be saved. I just enjoy your company.
I think at birth god should send you with a carry on bag. Things for your life. A video camera, a tape recorder, a journal, Journey's greatest hits album, two tickets to the zoo, scissors, and the mission to find someone to go to the zoo with you.
The video camera will help to ease the trouble of forgetting the things you'll miss most when you're dieing.
The tape recorder is so you can record yourself singing in the shower so someone else doesn't have to. Maybe if you know before they do how awful it is, you can prevent that embarassment later on.
A journal to keep yourself up to date on your day to day life so you can remember what you were doing when your best friend committed suicide.
Journey's greatest hits album because if you're going to enter a world full of such dissapointment you might as well have a damn good cd to carry you through.
Two tickets to the zoo will bring you and your mission into the world of animals. You'll discover penguins are kind of slimy, polar bears are not white, flamingos like shrimp, and the point of chickens at the zoo or the farm exhibit really is just to annoy you. Demand more monkeys.
Scissors! You'll always need a pair of scissors when you don't have them. The day you lose these scissors is the day your shoe lace gets stuck in the crack of a train track and you need to cut the lace or die. Guard them with your life, people will always steal them or lose them for you.
Find someone to go to the zoo with you. Enjoy this experience with someone you've chosen because you only get two tickets so one trip and the best relationships start with the date being free to both parties.
Don't hold your breath. For anything. It wont come through. Your face will turn colors. Your chest will start to hurt. You'll kill brain cells and if you want to accomplish that there are plenty of drugs that will do that for you in a much more pleasent way. In the end you'll be out of breath, out of luck, and dumber. The gain doesn't equal the loss.
Eat all the foods you love and don't worry about where it will show up on your body. Its good. Enjoy it.
I didn't show up for work today and never called. They still want me back. Pathetic.
I want to become a business teacher. A cake decorator. A detective. A missionary. A marine. A clothing store stocker. A writer. A reader. A miserable old woman with too many cats and not enough bras to hold up my saggy boobs.
~Maliet