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May 21, 2007 14:39

New York City Subway

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mrsfromage May 21 2007, 18:48:44 UTC
I can totally understand not telling people. I told hardly anyone besides my parents and best friend until the first trimester was over, and I did not go through what you did to get pregnant.

Anyway, that is a very cool photo!

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bee_beck May 22 2007, 13:42:40 UTC
Sigh, hopefully at some point we’ll talk, he’ll *really* listen and get what the problem is.

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mrsfromage May 22 2007, 15:53:21 UTC
I can understand the impulse to tell...I just think it's more YOUR decision than his since you're doing all the hard work :-).

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docony May 21 2007, 19:00:05 UTC
I totally understand your point and hope Fred gets it - boys are just so different its amazing!

I am sorry the spotting is back and hope you doing ok! sucks that you have to go thru this!

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bee_beck May 22 2007, 13:45:35 UTC
Boys really do suck sometimes! We’re still not talking and by a comment he made yesterday I can tell he hasn’t given this much thought. Maybe another day or two of not talking will get him to think. Which is basically how I see the problem… him not THINKING things through.

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bee_beck May 22 2007, 13:49:43 UTC
I’m definitely not backing down. This is very typical Fred behavior and most of the time I just chalk it up as “him.” But you know, sometimes that’s just not acceptable and I need him to realize this. The problem is, we’ve had this discussion before so something isn’t clicking. And ultimately I need him to act on this realization not just realize it.

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amayem May 22 2007, 14:18:43 UTC
Ok, I know I'm so sure I posted in here yesterday. But I guess not. So sorry to hear about the fight but I agree with you 100%. I too wouldn't feel comfortable sharing the news and the fact that he knew this would make my blood boil. I've just come to the conclusion that men are wired so differently from us and think quite differently. I hope that with time, he will understand where you are coming from.

Sending you hugs and lots of positive vibes - hope the cramping and spotting stop.

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bee_beck May 22 2007, 15:55:49 UTC
Unfortunately Fred probably didn’t know it would make my blood boil but that’s the point. He never bothers to really think about me. I often tell him he is selfish but that isn’t actually it. He just doesn’t think things through and makes poor decisions and I think a lot of the time he is thinking more of the other person then the people affected by what he is saying/doing. Hard to explain but typical Fred.

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drzwife May 22 2007, 14:40:18 UTC
You know - it's just another example of how the men will never 'get it' when it comes to pregnancy. We, as women, know so much more about the risks and are so much more cautious. They have no idea...

Anyways, I'm glad that things seem to be moving along well (aside from the cramping?). Wanted to let you know that my SIL actually got pregnant in her 2nd round of IVF (it's actually a FET so not a complete '2nd round'). She only transferred one frozen! All of the BFPs from IVFs are making me feel so much more positive. There's light at the end of the tunnel!

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bee_beck May 22 2007, 16:06:27 UTC
That is GREAT news about SIL. Simply wonderful. I’m so giddy that we even have this option, you know.

It wasn’t cramping so much as sharp pains that sort of pulsed at my sides. I had it a while back for a day but this time around it lasted close to a week. Very scary.

As for Fred, BIG sigh! I hope he can change because his inability to think can be such a big problem. We’ve done the whole m/c thing and he knows I come from a family with a long line of m/c history and repeat m/c’s at that. He knows all of this and has the tools to realize telling just “anyone” is probably not wise so why does he do it?? Ugh!

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