Sorry to hear how poorly he made you feel. I would totally send a card and don't bother with the viewing/funeral. You have to do what's best for you. Maybe you'll be able to spend more time with your aunt now...
I don't like my aunt much, either. My issues with her are completely different so I'm not really looking to strengthen that relationship. It's much better (for me) when there is distance between us.
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I am sorry about the family drama - hugs
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