1254 Thunder Road, Tuesday Evening

[beenthroughthat]

His encounter with Cally in the park yesterday had thrown Sam for a loop so badly that he'd taken his motorcycle and headed out of town for the rest of the day, just to do some aimless, head-clearing driving. He'd succeeded pretty well at the aimless part, but the head-clearing hadn't really happened, even though he'd been out until well past

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[sleepswthdemons]

The way Anders had sounded on the phone had seemed off to Phoebe, so she was more than a little concerned when she made her way to his place. She hoped he was alright because she honestly didn't think she could handle losing anyone else.

She knocked lightly on the door and then poked her head inside. "Anders?"

[beenthroughthat]

Sam, sitting in the dull flickering glow of the TV screen, looked up from the couch and got up to turn the lights on before beckoning her in.

"Hey," he said as he pulled her into a tight hug. "I didn't bother you or anything, did I? By making you come down here?"

[sleepswthdemons]

Phoebe held him tightly. "You didn't make me do anything and you are never a bother."

[beenthroughthat]

Sam just held on to her for a while longer before finally letting go and gesturing to the couch. "I just . . . I kind of needed you around tonight, is all."

[sleepswthdemons]

"I think I kind of need you here," Sam replied, nuzzling her hair briefly before he caught himself and stopped. Now wasn't the time for him to be doing anything that could be considered taking advantage of her.

She would never have thought that the nuzzling was anything close to taking advantage of her.

"I'm glad," she said quietly. "I'm always here if you need me, sweetie." She gave a faint smile. "Do you mind if I smoke, or would you rather I go outside?"

[beenthroughthat]

"I don't mind," Sam said, nudging the ashtray on the battered coffee table closer with his foot and reluctantly letting go of her with one arm to pull out his own cigarettes. "It's weird to see you smoking, though."

[sleepswthdemons]

"I guess it would be since I didn't like the two of you smoking." She lit up one and offered him her lighter. "It's just something I picked up shortly after... afterwards."

[beenthroughthat]

That made him wrap his arm around her more tightly as he leaned in to catch the flame with the tip of his cigarette. "But you never made us stop," he said thoughtfully.

[sleepswthdemons]

It was exhausting letting out that much pent-up emotion, and Sam was shaking with fatigue by the time he finally cried himself out, hanging on to Phoebe.

"I'm sorry," he finally managed. "You don't need me dumping this all on you."

"Hey," she chastized him lightly, kissing his hair again. "Who better to cry around and let everything out than me, huh? You're not dumping anything on me. You're letting me care about you and be here for you. Don't take that away from me, okay?"

[beenthroughthat]

"I wouldn't take anything away from you." Sam closed his eyes and let his fingers flex against her shirt when he felt her kiss his hair. "But I should be taking care of you and not giving you more to worry about."

[sleepswthdemons]

"I thought we were supposed to be taking care of each other, huh? This is part of it. We take turns holding each other when we need to cry."

[beenthroughthat]

"Yeah . . . you're right," Sam sighed, and nuzzled her cheek again. "'m frakking worn out, Phoebe. So tired."