In Transition

[beithgrove]

Y'know, like that horrible part of labour where you know you're SO close, but you're not *quite* "There" yet, and all you can do is wait in agony until there's something you can DO again... but you just can't seem to claw yourself away from the burning intensity of it all. The so-close-I-can-taste-it, but not yet able to PUSH through to the other

Comments

[suelet]

I can certainly empathize with you on some of your feelings this week.
I think your birth metaphor is very appropriate. You're in the "final days": lots of false labour, pain, frustration and uncertainty with little result.

I wish I could help.

[self_serve]

Hugs. :)

I think what you're doing is really, really brave - and super hard. Not only are you making this life-changing choice, you're also doing it while keeping a family going. And even if it's a conscious choice, and even if it's the right choice for you, that doesn't make the sacrifices fun. Struggles are still struggles, even if they're the good kind.

As for the friends, well... there could be several things going on there. Maybe they don't like/don't want to see you unhappy. Or maybe they see you unhappy, and aren't sure how to help - so they avoid, so as not to make it worse. Regardless, you are cared about and supported (even if it's not always the kind/amount/way you might prefer). Try to hang in there - you're doing a tough thing, but it will pay off in the end. :)

[beithgrove]

One of the hardest parts of the sacrifices we've made is the time away from friends. Night school has made regular weekly get-togethers essentially impossible, and family commitments have to come first, especially when "free" time is so scarce. But it stings when we come back out to see others welcomed where we weren't... I know that's touchy and lame, and I've been extra special vulnerable of late, but those moments make me sad (and lonely.) They make me wonder what I "did wrong" - what makes me *still* an outsider...? // **aw, muffin**

In the end, I *know* I'm taking the steps I need to take to do work I will be very good at. I don't always feel brave, though it does feel hard more often than not. I guess it's these moments of weakness that I feel so desperately (pathetically) in need of some reassurance.

[velvetmae]

I am sorry i was not more talkative the other day. I had 26 things on my head at the moment. I do adore you. Did you get my text about tomorrow?? We would so love to come down for the day.

[eliskimo]

Oh my dear Lord, Girl! I remember more than just your NAME!! I'm sorry I live in a different city and can't pop over to see you quickly. Sometimes I think the internet makes us feel the distance more because we can daily (if we want) read about the goings on of people we can't see.

And who's welcoming others more than they welcome you?? Point me at 'em. We'll have words! ;)

** Hugs ** I'm proud of you for what you're doing and I'm really sorry your body's staging a mutiny today. Maybe you do just need to stay in bed and not feel guilty about it.

[utsi]

*hugs* anytime. just ask/call/email/whatever.