It doesn't get any easier with practice, breaking poor boys hearts. It doesn't get any easier seeing where I've been fucking up and continuing my patterns. It doesn't get any easier looking back and realizing what I am doing to someone else, broke me into little pieces when it was done to me. But this is part of being human. I'm not a stone. I make ( Read more... )

I'd like to say I'm unique and have some special qualities. I'd like to say I'm special and different from the rest. How can I say any of what I do not know. I don't know how other women are. I do not know very many. And when I get to think about it, there are more incredible women out there than I can imagine. There are more women, I can imagine ( Read more... )

I was in a definite funk yesterday. Yes I can blame it on my p-rad for being emotional and mentally open. It's normal and I welcome it, but yesterday was plain weird. I am trying to run more on my gut instinct to get me where I am set to go. So this means I do things on random and spur of the moment. Before I go into what happened yesterday, I'd ( Read more... )

For some reason or another, who knows, people fall quickly out of my life. Men. All last year I spent looking forward to Grant moving back to Seattle from Vegas. It seemed we were on key with each other. We knew what we didn't want, and we knew what we wanted. There was nothing more. When he got here, it was nothing short of what I imagined. We ( Read more... )

I'm tired of feeling this way, so in an attempt to feel better I have decided I actually need to do something. Lately I have been feeling like I am only being half of what I can be and my laziness has taken over my ambition. I'm ready to turn that around. I'm running out of time. I don't want to let all of me go to waste. I do have a talent, and I ( Read more... )

I don't know why this bothers me so much. Maybe the fact that I know I am THEE BEST, and he's just an idiot. But still, if I am so good why can't I have what's best. This whole growing up thing is hard. Especially since my growing process has been delayed ten years. I'm frusterated at the fact that I'm 27 and learning how to "date". I think it's ( Read more... )

This may be useful, or shameful, but whatever. I am here. I like to dabble in words and feelings, and it's nice to have somewhere to go, when I don't have my pad and paper and be able to get out what I need to get out, good or bad.