(Untitled)

[bekstaa024]

dear anyone,

if you still read this occasionally please please please make a point to read this one quick quick quick entry.. 
i wouldnt ask for readers it's only that i need a few opinions on 

Comments

hello friend

[yourassismine]

i really enjoyed that- as a poem/song it was really good and very nice. as a point of editing i would only MAYBE change two things- since i dont know where your coming from entirely- although i see the use of the repeated words- i would change "--existence--" only because you use "if existence is a river" unless that is on purpose, its fine how it is, just a suggestion, maybe another word like --being-- or i dont know, something. and lastly " floats life" doesnt quite flow- but still works, i think specificall its "floats" that throws me off- again, its totally rad the way it is now, just a suggestion. Otherwise, i actually really like. nice job.

see you later. :)

Re: hello friend

[bekstaa024]

thanks so much dex!

[bekstaa024]

:) yay

[somewhatsilly]

perfect.

[bekstaa024]

thanks kip !

[anonymous]

thanks !

ya. i'm sending it as part of my application for this writing program thing, so i wanted opinions.

Re: hmmm

[anonymous]

yess! that's what i was going for!
i've read so much of him lately that i've kinda gotten the gist of his style & whatnot & i decided to do an e.e.cummings-esque poem

! :)

[190lbs_of_pimp]

i enjoyed it alot

[bekstaa024]

thanks !