Comments | belatrxmourning: Birthmothers: Why doesn't anyone care about them?

belatrxmourning

Birthmothers: Why doesn't anyone care about them?

Nov 27, 2008 06:47

So, having given a child up for adoption and having to do a paper on adoption, I thought it was only natural to focus more on the birthmother experience ( Read more... )

adoption, research, birthmother, no one loves the birthmoms

Comments 3

This is why. anonymous November 27 2008, 19:35:05 UTC

Very honestly, the reason is because they do not want the mothers speaking out. They don't want the adoptees speaking out either. They want us to shut and be quiet. With the huge numbers of first mothers and adoptees speaking out, it isn't happening. They can't shut us up. Nor should they.

You think closed adoption moms have it better? anonymous November 28 2008, 01:56:21 UTC

Or closed adoptees? We have to live a life of lies and secrets. Not a pleasant thing to do. And do you have any earthly idea how much self-loathing an adoptee feels if the topic of his/her origins is so taboo that it cannot be discussed with the family that has raised them ( ... )

Re: You think closed adoption moms have it better? belatrxmourning November 28 2008, 05:41:35 UTC

thanks for that! I know that the closed adoptees especially have a hard time and the adoptions of the '60's I would consider more of a time for societal force more than a willing adoption. I think perhaps the ideal situation is a barely open adoption, such as maybe pics or assurances that the child is doing well but not contact. I also don't believe there should be secrets or stigma for anyone involved in adoption, especially with the adopted kids. I think that adoption is still a beautiful, selfless thing for a woman to do for a child she isn't able to care for, but I think that birthmother deserve consideration, caring and support for the deep emotional pain they have to endure. Not just a pat on the head and a nice word for their choice (if they are lucky enough to even get that).